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jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#161
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#161
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied,Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris! The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.[/FONT]
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#162
May 11, 2009
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#162
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#163
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#163
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.[/FONT]
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#164
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#164
Chuck norris is currently suing NBC claiming law and order are trademark names for his left and right legs
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#165
May 11, 2009
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#165
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#166
May 11, 2009
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#166
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#167
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#167
If you have five dollars and chuck norris has five dollars..... chuck norris still has more money than you
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#168
May 11, 2009
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#168
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#169
May 11, 2009
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#169
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#170
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#170
Chuck norris doesnt need to swallow when eating food
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#171
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#171
chuck norris doesnt need to "style" his hair, it lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror
 
C

christiancollegegirl

Guest
#172
#172
a group of frogs is called an army

A group of kangaroos is called a mob
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#174
May 11, 2009
271
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#174
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#177
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#177
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#178
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#178
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#179
May 11, 2009
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#179
Cockroaches can live for 9 days after their head has been cut off.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#180
May 11, 2009
271
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#180
Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.
 
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