I'll tell you why, I never felt joy or contentment as a believer. Maybe some little giggles at youth group, but it never felt more than that. I'd have those spiritual highs at church camp that suddenly crashed.
When I had a bile leak and was in the hospital for a year with awful pain, tons of the members from the church my family went to would give me pamphelts about how instead of blaming God i should trust him. My mother told me she didn't want me to be angry with God, But I wasn't angry, I was injured internally, it happens. Finally I realized I wasn't angry because all along I'd never felt some one there, I felt there was no one to be angry with. I became number and number and eventually I got sick of following a list of rules for my life. I treat others as I would like to be treated.
I feel sad reading this, but I'm sure the Holy Spirit is still prodding you to accept and trust Jesus as your Lord and Savior. You could have chosen many other places to talk about these issues, but you chose to come to a Christian site. It's not about blame or anger or apathy, or even feelings.
It's about a God that loves you so much, and wants you to be with Him for eternity so much, that the ONLY way it could be accomplished was to send the very person that He loved more than anything, to die for YOU!
Forget about feelings. They can betray you, especially with enemy only too happy to exploit them.
Believe the Gospel! The world says show me and I'll believe, God says believe and I'll show you.
Dear Heavenly Father, please reveal Yourself in a powerful way to this woman. Let her feel Your Presence in her life, and give her the Faith to believe in Your Son. In Jesus Name I pray.