X Marks the Spot

😲 were you in the show ?

In pondering the things that have been shared in this thread, I have to admit that when it comes to those who are constantly giving negative feedback, I often wonder what their lives are like.

Maybe I'm even slightly envious. As I've said, I always feel like the Holy Spirit is waving His finger at me when I go to reach for the Big Red X, and when I do manage to listen , I can't help but wonder if He's just picking on me , or if He truly does not convict others in the same way.

I start to wonder if He ever tries to tell someone not to press the button and like me, they just fail to listen, or would the Holy Spirit actually LEAD people to constantly fire that Red X? I don't know, as I can't say for sure how He works with different people. But I can't help but wonder if they have to repeatedly override their conscience in order to do it. I suppose not, because the ones who use it the most are often 110% convinced that they are simply standing for the truth, even if it means tearing down others (all the more justifiable, I suppose, because they probably see this as "fighting the good Christian fight," and to "count it all joy".)

How do we stay on track as far as clinging to God's truth, in the way He wants it spoken, and... a version of the truth that is our own, and in the way we want to say it?

The example I've come to use by default is this:

Let's say your beloved father is in the hospital, and you're waiting for a doctor to come out of his room and give you an update.

Doctor #1 comes to you and says, "I am so very sorry, but your father passed away. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and am here to answer any questions you have to the best of my knowledge. I am here for you during your time of need."

Doctor #2 says, "Welp, the old man just kicked the bucket. My work here is done, so I'm moving on to the next sad soul in line."

Which doctor spoke truth? Because neither one of them told a lie... But which doctor would you rather choose to have deliver that truth?

This is what disheartens me most about growing up in, and continuing to participate in Christian circles. So many people have the mannerism of the second doctor, but they don't see it in themselves, and they don't think they're doing anything wrong because technically, they ARE telling the truth. But they don't seem to understand that there is a much better way of conveying it.

Now I'm certainly not saying that there isn't a time for firm, or even harsh, answers. I've done plenty of that myself, and still do, so I'm very much on the steep end of the learning curve as well. But I also often wonder what kinds of environments people are from, because I've been around some people whom I thought were the meanest, most critical souls ever to walk the earth, then I met their parents/siblings/friends, and the people around them were so much worse, they made the first person actually look NICE in comparison! These people truly didn't know any better, because that's all they'd ever known.

At any rate... Sorry for the mad ramble.

All I really wanted to say was, Kayla, I hope you and others here won't get too discouraged and will stick around.

One thing I've greatly appreciated about your posts is that you have a lot of insider knowledge about the inner problems behind the scenes of ministries that put on a holy face. I know that when I first started reading your posts, I was relieved, because I thought, "Wow, this is someone who actually understands what it's like!"

I also always want to encourage wise and compassionate marrieds to stop over to Singles once in a while. We need to be reminded that marriage is hard work and not all fluffy visions of adoration, especially with Single's Awareness Day (aka, Valentine's) fast approaching.

I understand that it's probably not ideal for married and single people to hang out too regularly, lest any lines be crossed? For instance, I don't ever want to make a married person feel as if they wish they were single again. I tell all my married friends, "If you've found someone you can live with, stick with them, because dating is a nothing but a shark tank!!!"

But please consider stopping in once in and having a laugh and a joke on us. Tourist also has some of the best comebacks in the Singles Forum, so we'd love to have you join in with a few quips of your own.

After all, if churches somehow expect marrieds and singles to co-exist in one body, why not here as well?

No, the show started several yrs. after I moved state side. But the story is well known to the locals.

How about this one?

I think its easy to be a bit burned out in ministry after a while so you need to take breaks every now and then. Its not the same as having a regular job I find because ppl are always concerned about whether you get paid. They dont see it as real work if its not paid. and of course it hard to sustain if you dont have enough to pay bills etc.

I have a few Keith Green albums.

"Run to the End of the Highway" is one of my favorites from him. It says something I think a lot of people need to hear. They keep running from here to there, trying to get away from their problems, but the problems keep following them.

JohnDB... DB doesn't stand for decibels, does it?

Reason I ask is, I'm a music nerd. We can always use another music nerd in any conversation.

pretty sure you're wrong.

'trophies' are meaningless - after you make 1,000 posts and receive 250 likes, there's no further 'awards' and they don't have any effect on anything. it's not even prominently displayed anywhere, you have to dig through someone's profile to see them. most of the people who were on the board when we migrated forum software automatically maxed out all of them. i think it was just a built-in feature of the forum software that couldn't be turned off.

the things on the front page are all sorted by 'most recent' -- as far as i'm aware there is no algorithm in the forum that 'promotes' posts threads or people that have a lot of positive reactions, and negative reactions don't do anything either.

of course, if i'm wrong, please correct me too

JohnDB... DB doesn't stand for decibels, does it?

Reason I ask is, I'm a music nerd. We can always use another music nerd in any conversation.

I didn't know for sure one way or another. I just noticed the web designer put a lot of work into the karma system here. I thought maybe it actually factored into some kind of algorithm whereby they could rank their content by popularity.

At the end of the day this website is a business that will succeed or fail based on the interest it attracts. High quality posts deserve more recognition than low effort posts and the reaction system is sufficient to quantify how much recognition a posts deserves.

If a thread is downvote bombed by someone just because they have sour grapes it doesn't actually encourage good, healthy, organic discussion. Actually people seem to get defensive. It isn't a problem if a single person is doing it, but message boards can get wrecked by dozens of people voting maliciously. It can get messy if there isn't some sort of voting rules.

I guess it's just for show and doesn't mean anything or they have it in place for future purposes.

Or it is used in the back end by the admin. I wouldn't be surprised if they can parse all of the posts by popularity. I would love to know more for sure one way or another from someone who can officially confirm or deny. I'm just curious to get a peak behind the curtain.

I didn't know for sure one way or another. I just noticed the web designer put a lot of work into the karma system here. I thought maybe it actually factored into some kind of algorithm whereby they could rank their content by popularity.

At the end of the day this website is a business that will succeed or fail based on the interest it attracts. High quality posts deserve more recognition than low effort posts and the reaction system is sufficient to quantify how much recognition a posts deserves.

If a thread is downvote bombed by someone just because they have sour grapes it doesn't actually encourage good, healthy, organic discussion. Actually people seem to get defensive. It isn't a problem if a single person is doing it, but message boards can get wrecked by dozens of people voting maliciously. It can get messy if there isn't some sort of voting rules.

I guess it's just for show and doesn't mean anything or they have it in place for future purposes.

DB stands for Duh Baptist... cause I've attended baptist churches mostly....I'm a lousy baptist barely fitting on the rim of the pail of orthodoxy in Baptist circles...

But I live in Nashville TN...
Music is so much a part of this city. Rock and Roll stars as well as country and a lot of Jazz and Blues stars all live here. This is the central place for agents, lawyers, promotion houses, recording studios, and video editing.
With the huge influx of people recently it's kinda losing a lot of that.
It wasn't uncommon to see, meet, and interact with the big stars on a street level. I'm waiting for the day someone writes a hit song about pancake pantry or San Antonio Taco Company's patio. It's a coming...
My church has a full orchestra...as big as any harmonic symphony. Singers as talented and wide of range as any of the famous. It's kind of unnerving what you can grow accustomed to here.

While I totally realize that CCs intentions were to give people several emojis to react with, things have lately been getting out of hand. I recall when the red x first popped up. I would use it only when I believed what a person was saying was heresy, totally against what the Bible taught. Then suddenly people began to use it not because they disagreed with a comment, but as a weapon. I had several people, who are now banned, that would follow me around the forum and red x anything I said, even if it was straight out of the Bible!! I pop in today and see someone has given me ten thumbs down in a row, and I wasn't even speaking directly to them!! smh Hey, you want to disagree, do so. But people are using these emojis as a weapon. I feel that's a misuse of the emojis. Anyone else feel the same way? Understand, I'm not saying people don't have a right to use it, I just don't think you should be allowed to misuse it simply because you dislike that person. There is a difference.