In pondering the things that have been shared in this thread, I have to admit that when it comes to those who are constantly giving negative feedback, I often wonder what their lives are like.
Maybe I'm even slightly envious. As I've said, I always feel like the Holy Spirit is waving His finger at me when I go to reach for the Big Red X, and when I do manage to listen
, I can't help but wonder if He's just picking on me
, or if He truly does not convict others in the same way.
I start to wonder if He ever tries to tell someone not to press the button and like me, they just fail to listen, or would the Holy Spirit actually LEAD people to constantly fire that Red X? I don't know, as I can't say for sure how He works with different people. But I can't help but wonder if they have to repeatedly override their conscience in order to do it. I suppose not, because the ones who use it the most are often 110% convinced that they are simply standing for the truth, even if it means tearing down others (all the more justifiable, I suppose, because they probably see this as "fighting the good Christian fight," and to "count it all joy".)
How do we stay on track as far as clinging to God's truth, in the way He wants it spoken, and... a version of the truth that is our own, and in the way we want to say it?
The example I've come to use by default is this:
Let's say your beloved father is in the hospital, and you're waiting for a doctor to come out of his room and give you an update.
Doctor #1 comes to you and says, "I am so very sorry, but your father passed away. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and am here to answer any questions you have to the best of my knowledge. I am here for you during your time of need."
Doctor #2 says, "Welp, the old man just kicked the bucket. My work here is done, so I'm moving on to the next sad soul in line."
Which doctor spoke truth? Because neither one of them told a lie... But which doctor would you rather choose to have deliver that truth?
This is what disheartens me most about growing up in, and continuing to participate in Christian circles. So many people have the mannerism of the second doctor, but they don't see it in themselves, and they don't think they're doing anything wrong because technically, they ARE telling the truth. But they don't seem to understand that there is a much better way of conveying it.
Now I'm certainly not saying that there isn't a time for firm, or even harsh, answers. I've done plenty of that myself, and still do, so I'm very much on the steep end of the learning curve as well. But I also often wonder what kinds of environments people are from, because I've been around some people whom I thought were the meanest, most critical souls ever to walk the earth, then I met their parents/siblings/friends, and the people around them were so much worse, they made the first person actually look NICE in comparison! These people truly didn't know any better, because that's all they'd ever known.
At any rate... Sorry for the mad ramble.
All I really wanted to say was, Kayla, I hope you and others here won't get too discouraged and will stick around.
One thing I've greatly appreciated about your posts is that you have a lot of insider knowledge about the inner problems behind the scenes of ministries that put on a holy face. I know that when I first started reading your posts, I was relieved, because I thought, "Wow, this is someone who actually understands what it's like!"
I also always want to encourage wise and compassionate marrieds to stop over to Singles once in a while. We need to be reminded that marriage is hard work and not all fluffy visions of adoration, especially with Single's Awareness Day (aka, Valentine's) fast approaching.
I understand that it's probably not ideal for married and single people to hang out too regularly, lest any lines be crossed? For instance, I don't ever want to make a married person feel as if they wish they were single again. I tell all my married friends, "If you've found someone you can live with, stick with them, because dating is a nothing but a shark tank!!!"
But please consider stopping in once in and having a laugh and a joke on us.
Tourist also has some of the best comebacks in the Singles Forum, so we'd love to have you join in with a few quips of your own.
After all, if churches somehow expect marrieds and singles to co-exist in one body, why not here as well?