Your Reason For Not Attending Church

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,429
9,411
113
#61
Lynx,
are you off your meds???
I learned long ago that if somebody wants to believe something bad enough, he will find reasons to believe it. It's hopeless trying to argue with him.

I learned long ago there are a LOT of people who will argue a lot to defend what they want to believe. It's even more hopeless to try to argue with all of them.

All that is left is pointing out how blatantly illogical the most ludicrous arguments are... mostly for entertainment. Nobody's going to change anybody's mind, so I might as well have a bit of fun with it. :cool:
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#63
lucky

majority of sermons ((in my experience)) are 30 min or less & could have been condensed to 15. whole services typically last 1 hour, with half of it being music, announcements and collecting money.

to me, obviously, this is no way to be 'fed' or 'discipled' adequately. especially when also those sermons are usually cookie-cutter bullet-points the pastor got from a preaching listserver and are aimed squarely at the lowest-common-denominator in the congregation. an actual teacher behind a pulpit is extraordinarily difficult to find, and one that's willing to teach from that dais as though he's not speaking to babes the whole time, harder still.

there's a lot to be said for smaller-group Bible studies outside of what i like to call 'the sunday morning big show' -- but the really disheartening thing is that when churches do have such opportunities, only a very small % of the people that nominally 'attend' the church are ever willing to take part in them. all most of the people in the pews want is 1 hour a week of smiling and nodding and being cordial to relative strangers on their way out the door, and many churches cater to that.

if you want more than this, that sadly puts you in a shrinking minority, i'm afraid.
if you have more than this -- blessed
========================================================
nail . . ., my Friend...
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#64
A while ago I heard a woman sharing her story on the Focus on the Family radio program... she was talking about going to church and finding her place with an autistic son who was, to say the least, an unmanageable handful. He did not care for the service but liked the "after church" === the tea time and people milling about, so that is what this mom did- skipped the service and showed up with her son for the social part afterwards. Her son discovered that chairs needed putting away, which he was willing to do, and he was then asked to be a helper in that capacity, which eventually led to him becoming a greeter, and then someone who worked in the sound booth, where his love of music was a sight to behold LOL... Long story short, this church embraced her and her son: not everybody did all at once, for some people need time to come around to how we are all different... but she and her son both found their place there, and joy, and love, as well. Perhaps churches like this are rare, but they do exist. I pray you find such a one, and do not give up :) The mom wrote a book about her experiences, called Dancing With Max. Here (<- click!) is a Focus on the Family page with links to stories concerning autism. I found this book also:

View attachment 209187
you, my dear, are a wealth of information........
and answering questions before I can ask.......
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#65
I learned long ago that if somebody wants to believe something bad enough, he will find reasons to believe it. It's hopeless trying to argue with him.

I learned long ago there are a LOT of people who will argue a lot to defend what they want to believe. It's even more hopeless to try to argue with all of them.

All that is left is pointing out how blatantly illogical the most ludicrous arguments are... mostly for entertainment. Nobody's going to change anybody's mind, so I might as well have a bit of fun with it. :cool:
================================================
this answer is really quite sad - many are just pointing out their own experiences with the churches they have attended over
many years while trying to find one that is vaguely Biblical - we've done the same 'church-hunt' and came up with
'a wild-goose-chase' - this is not being critical, just sharing, no need to take it personal, as we are extremely happy for those
who have found TRUE FELLOWSHIP in this fallen-world...not saying that we 'haven't found True Fellowship, we have done so,
but over these many decades, it has been very rare and few and far in-between...
as it is written:
MATT. 24:5.
For many shall come in My Name, saying, I Am Christ; and shall deceive many.

Post and a few others have a clear and realistic understanding of today's 'traditional-christianity'...
again,
not judging or arguing, just pointing out and sharing personal experiences,
as many in here do daily, it's part of a Christian's 'job and to be take seriously, not for fun or for any
self-serving-reason...
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#66
As a parent, it is my obligation to protect my children, that goes for what is put/taught into their little spirits as well. Sadly, too many "children's church" sessions are all hype and games. jumping up and down to noise (what they call "worship music") snack time, games, all the things they do at summer camp..... not much (if any) teaching of the Word...... and sometimes the way they "water it down" for the kids is so far from Scripture truth
Last church we visited my youngest who was 5 at the time came out from children's church saying "that was a waste of my time"
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,429
9,411
113
#67
================================================
this answer is really quite sad - many are just pointing out their own experiences with the churches they have attended over
many years while trying to find one that is vaguely Biblical - we've done the same 'church-hunt' and came up with
'a wild-goose-chase' - this is not being critical, just sharing, no need to take it personal, as we are extremely happy for those
who have found TRUE FELLOWSHIP in this fallen-world...not saying that we 'haven't found True Fellowship, we have done so,
but over these many decades, it has been very rare and few and far in-between...
as it is written:
MATT. 24:5.
For many shall come in My Name, saying, I Am Christ; and shall deceive many.

Post and a few others have a clear and realistic understanding of today's 'traditional-christianity'...
again,
not judging or arguing, just pointing out and sharing personal experiences,
as many in here do daily, it's part of a Christian's 'job and to be take seriously, not for fun or for any
self-serving-reason...
This is true. But I was replying to specific people, not all the people who have posted in this thread. And for those specific people, my replies still stand.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#68
We had a guest pastor recently who is a missionary who frequently preaches in churches abroad including the Middle East, Nigeria, and other places where Christians are persecuted. Before he came to our church he was in Nigeria, and he said that the church in Nigeria is praying for my church. He also named a couple of other churches abroad that are praying for my church. He said Christians are getting killed every day in those places but still go to church. It kind of opened my eyes that churches in countries where Christians are persecuted are praying for my church/western churches. Churches are not perfect, but when we feel lazy on Sunday mornings we should remind ourselves of people who pray for us and gather in churches despite persecution.
 
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#69
I was watching a woman on YouTube recently who was announcing that she would no longer be attending church because she isn't pleased with certain things that were taking place in them.

In reading through the comments, I came across one that I found really interesting.

"Church: the only place in the world where people leave because of hurt.

Work: the only place in the world where people stay no matter what hurts they go through"

For those who have stopped going to church, I would like to hear your views on this along with scripture reference that supports your decision for not going.

If one church is not operating according to God's standard, wouldn't it make sense to find another church to attend rather than giving up on going altogether?
I don't go to organised religion , and haven't done so for many years, tried anglican, Catholic, pentecostals, all fall well short of the truth. None of there doctrine stands before the truth, its all manmade . And most of the people flee once the sermon has finished, a mass exodus out of the carpark. No thanks, I decided long ago to seek answers by myself and have succeeded in doing so. When you speak to people who have been imbedded in organised religion for sometime, its almost impossible to tell them they are following the wrong path. They get angry real quick, that tells me all I need to know.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,429
9,411
113
#70
This thread reminds me of an old quote.

"If your revelation of Truth is so exclusive that only you have it and can understand it, you are in a very dangerous place."
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,815
7,790
113
#72
GG and The Indian girl-
Thank you for posting, that is so true of America, I am so very positive this separating of His own sheep from the goats is going on all over the world and accelerating.
 
Feb 3, 2020
6
6
3
#73
I have moved many times in my life. It's not easy to relocate and find a church/people you're comfortable with in a new place.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#74
the key has been for us, after looking a 'lot', is 'not to look, but be still and be led'...
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#75
the key has been for us, after looking a 'lot', is 'not to look, but be still and be led'...
We've yet to be led anywhere......
and every time we try to find a place or are invited somewhere we walk away shaking our heads and our spirits grieving.....
We've started playing sermons we've pre-screened on Sunday mornings during breakfast and then talking about things with our kiddos. They are actually more inquisitive to this than they are when we try and get them to a childrens church.......
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#76
GG,
the writings on the wall here - hub and I also, over many, many years just kept on plowing through the mire,
and agreeing to go to or answering invites, etc. - we had so set our OWN sights on what we thought we were
supposed to be doing and how, by our 'up-bringing', and then REALITY SET-IN, and we started opening our
hearts to God's leading, and this almost immediately brought us to a contrite spirit and into His Nest
and Word and Truth by reading and coming to live in His Will the best that we could at that time -
this became a continual process which continues' until this day, (climbing-up-the-ladder of Faith)...

in the beginning of our 'walk' we felt a tremendous obligation to our fellow-man instead of God, it was a
sorting-out priorities - of course our fellow-man is important, but we came to realize that God IS our Higher Priority -
hard lesson learned with so many childhood ties, but, thankfully, we over-came that 'old-life-style'...
Praise God...
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,815
7,790
113
#77
do you think some of that is with age and maturing in Christ? A part of the process of being "conformed to the image of the Son"?
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,815
7,790
113
#78
I have heard it taught we prove ourselves worthy by showing His love to those around us so that He may give us more to do to be His hands and feet .
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,233
1,641
113
#79
I can find many excuses (there aren't any reasons) not to attend church. I don't look for them. When I disagree with what I hear in a sermon, or in a Bible study class, I go home and take a new look at my opinion. Most of the time, I find that really didn't disagree with him, but if we still disagree, I go directly to the pastor and express my disagreement. We always work out my disagreement.

Before I attend a service, I ask God to open my heart and give me the understanding of what is said that I need to hear.

I would never attend a church and leave "bad mouthing" something about the service or the church. I have found that when the pastor isn't faithful to the scriptures, he doesn't last long, or the church dies.

My grandfather always told me that if I thought I could do a better job, don't complain about the job being done, get off my backside, and do it myself. That's good advice for all of you preacher and church critics.
 

Belka

Junior Member
Aug 24, 2017
226
231
43
#80
I believe it's very important for our spiritual health / walk to be part of a church. Not just so we can "get fed", but also, perhaps more importantly, so we ourselves can serve, and help others in that church, in whatever way that may be. Of course, that's not always easily doable, especially in big churches. But we are to not forsake the assembling with one another (Hebrews 10:25) and the very least a believer can do, IMO, is to have regular fellowship with a group of other believers. Isolation is a no-no in any case. The Christian walk isn't meant to be a solitary one.

Isolation doesn't lead to anything good (when it's one's default position). I speak from experience and also from observation.
We are to be part of a local body and are called to "stir each other up to love and good works" (Hebrews 10:24).