depression

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Feb 1, 2023
82
51
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#21
hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused
Don't stop praying because there's nothing that's impossible for God. I believe you know who he is and i believe you know how much he loves you, even if you feel like you are losing love for him im sure he isnt losing any for you. However you have to do your part and try doing anything else except laying in bed because thats where depression wants you (i say this knowing how hard it can be), push yourself to go for a walk and spend some time outside, do anything that you think might benefit your health. I will pray for you and encourage you to post more here about anything that bothers you.
 

ebdesroches

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2022
976
495
63
76
#22
Ellshya your testimony really hit home with me! I already cling to Him and He to me but just hearing about what He does, was good for me!
 

Handyman62

Well-known member
Jan 10, 2021
602
267
63
Rural South Carolina
#23
hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused
There can be several reasons for depression. It could be medical, meaning something physically wrong with you or even related to medication you might be taking. Or it could be situational meaning outside forces going on in your life causing you distress. Or the reason may not be obvious and may never be known.

My problems started with a ruptured disc in my neck that caused severe headaches. That wouldn't have been so bad if I could have gotten proper treatment. Unfortunately what I got was a bunch of Doctors who just wanted to throw off label medications at me to see if any of them would stick. One of them was an antidepressant. At first the antidepressant helped because it took away all my motivations and made me not care about anything anymore which helped me cope with the lack of help I was receiving. But it did nothing for my headaches which lasted for 7 years. After being on the antidepressant for about 6 months is when I became depressed.

Eventually I started having other symptoms related to my ruptured disc and the pain got so bad that none of the pain meds they were throwing at me even made a dent in my pain. I eventually weighed my options, on the one hand stay alive and continue to suffer, or on the other hand take my life and end the suffering. I opted to take my life. I used all the pills I had on hand to attempt it but was taken to the hospital before I would find out if they were enough to end my life.

I ended up going into a mental hospital/rehab center where I opted to stay for 10 days and get counseling. Most of the counseling was of no help to me. One type was and that along with the Psychiatrist that was assigned to me made all the difference. My Psychiatrist was the one who ran the place and was a no nonsense kind of guy who made it clear to me that there is no magic pill. Which meant if I was to get better it was going to have to come from me and my efforts and not someone or some pill.

The type of counseling/treatment that worked for me was C.B.T. (cognitive behavioral therapy). What that basically boils down to is using normal ordinary things that we can do to distract us when we have negative or disturbing thoughts or feelings. It's very easy but does require some consistency. What it eventually does is reprogram our thought processes and how successful it is depends on how much we put into it.

Reading scripture, praying, singing worship songs, watching sermons on tv/computer and going to Church can be very helpful along with many other things in bringing our minds into a more stable place.

I left the hospital still in pain but with a better mind set. All in all I suffered 15 years with my ruptured disc before I finally got surgery to correct it. And in that time I lost everything on this earth that mattered to me including a 28 year marriage and can honestly say I have nothing to live for, but I'm still here.
 

MessengerofTruth

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2022
688
434
63
#24
Don't stop praying because there's nothing that's impossible for God. I believe you know who he is and i believe you know how much he loves you, even if you feel like you are losing love for him im sure he isnt losing any for you. However you have to do your part and try doing anything else except laying in bed because thats where depression wants you (i say this knowing how hard it can be), push yourself to go for a walk and spend some time outside, do anything that you think might benefit your health. I will pray for you and encourage you to post more here about anything that bothers you.
Also try singing praise and worship songs. Sing until you mean every word... :)
 

ebdesroches

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2022
976
495
63
76
#25
Listen all the time you can to streaming worship music, spotify, pandora, and free youtube.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,281
4,329
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#26
hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused
Hi Paul,

I'll say a prayer for you.
There can be a number of causes of depression. I'll list a few of the more common causes. It'll be something to consider and perhaps get to the root of the cause. Suicide is far more serious though.
Suicide is no solution, I'm afraid. I can feel your pain though.
Question.....
Are you 100% certain that you will go to heaven, or have some doubt?
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,281
4,329
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#27
hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused
Paul,

We are three part beings, body, soul and spirit. You need help from someone who knows how to get to the root cause of each area. You told us something about your energy level and that this is a problem you've had for decades. What do you think is the actual cause of the depression?

Here's a video that might help you with the spiritual part.

Heaven
 

paul67

New member
Jun 19, 2021
5
7
3
#28
hi everyone thanks for all your help and prayer,
https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/romans-6/
this as helped me so much and i understand finally after 26 years it is a commentary on romans i have been through chapters 6 , 7 , 8 and wow the power of the cross and grace as really sunk in , i recomend any new converts to read it , as just saying the sinners prayer is not the way god bless brother and sister see you all soon x x x
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,281
4,329
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#29
hi everyone thanks for all your help and prayer,
https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/romans-6/
this as helped me so much and i understand finally after 26 years it is a commentary on romans i have been through chapters 6 , 7 , 8 and wow the power of the cross and grace as really sunk in , i recomend any new converts to read it , as just saying the sinners prayer is not the way god bless brother and sister see you all soon x x x
It depends upon the prayer my friend.
Most tracts I've read, hundreds, sneak works into the prayer at the end. You can't trust Christ + works. It = No salvation

Romans 11:6

"And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work."

They add false gospels like "give your life to Christ, turn from your sins (obedience to the law), make Jesus Lord of your life, etc."

What everyone must do is to trust Him Who suffered the torments for our sins, die, was buried and arose the third day, calling upon Him for salvation. That is the correct sinners prayer in a nutshell. Here's a good one .

Gospel of salvation
 

Bruce_Leiter

Active member
Feb 17, 2023
427
192
43
#30
hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused
 

Bruce_Leiter

Active member
Feb 17, 2023
427
192
43
#31
I experienced 7 years of major depression. It seemed as if my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling until I found God's help through Christian psychological help at a Christian mental hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan, called Pine Rest. There, God got me in touch with my anger and grief that I had buried in my unconscious mind. Then, he taught me through the psalmist David, Job, and Jeremiah to lament, that is, share my anger and grief with him in persistent, open, honest prayers over 8 1/2 months until he gave me his peace of Philippians 4:6-7. I hope that my experience helps you, since I've now been depression-free for more than 3 decades. Every time my depression tries to gain a foothold again, I ask God what I'm getting depressed about and then lament again as long as it takes for him to give me that peace. People may run away from us, but God won't.