New to site hopefully to meet people with same concerns.

I have been married for 20 years to my high school sweetheart, two beautiful children 7&11. My wife who is not living with us has recently been diagnosed with bipolar 1, which sheds a lot of light on the past years. The last 15 years have been up and down but I have always managed to keep the family together thinking family unitity was the best answer. I have had to make some hard discussion over the last 6 month and realized that the unity was not as important as a non manic home for our children. Now she is on her meds and telling me she's better but I have lots of concerns, I believe in marriage under God but it's so hard to make discussion about letting her back into the home and around the children. Any comments would be helpful.

Hi Keepingittogether1, welcome to CC.

You are probably going to be asked to start another thread in one area or another, and if you are, and you do... I'll re-post what I will write here.

I grew up with a dad who was Bi-Polar II, and it sure was an adventure. My dad went without diagnosis until his late 50s, but when he was finally diagnosed his behavior made so much sense.

I understand that many with BP1 have a lot of trouble staying on meds. It's something to consider. I agree that being raised with not a lot of mental stability can be tough, and I empathize with you and your children. I will note for the record that my mom has a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, so here it was both parents.

That said, I would like to share with you the gifts that being raised in that kind of home has brought to me:
1) BOTH of my parents loved Jesus so much. Their relationships with God were rocky, but who's relationship with God isn't? I learned that there was nothing I could do that God wouldn't accept me for. What an amazing gift!
2) I have a lot of empathy for people struggling with various mental illnesses. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes that's hard. I've learned to not care for people under my own power, but love them with the love God gives us for each other, compassionately and kindly.
3) I've learned to think about what I want to say because words are powerful.
4) Well, there are other things too... but that's what immediately comes to mind.

I mention these things because so often we see how our problems are hurting us, but remember that God works ALL things together for the good of those who believe and are called according to his purpose. Our circumstances are how God works in our lives, and painful or hard things are a quick learning space - especially to lean on God's guidance and support.

I know that it's hard work. I know that this is scary. I know it will take more patience for you with your kids. If she's ever manic and harming them? Well, they come first. Their SAFETY is imperative. She doesn't get to come off her meds.

I'm willing to talk more if you'd like. You are in a tough place. Know that I, and probably many others here will be praying. God bless you.

Hello and welcome!
I don't often check this part of the forum but I'm glad I did. My ex-wife spent most of two years in hospital being treated for, among other things, bi-polar disorder. My children were small at the time. It was certainly no fun.

There are lots of good people with an astounding array of experiences here; I trust you'll find some to connect with.