I am so glad I go to God in the genuineness of my pain, I will continue to believe I am one of the ones who ought to receive that passage as I trust God more than humans, but I appreciate your prayers
Then you are going to continue to believe a lie.
Matthew 19:8-12
"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."
After hearing Jesus' teaching on the indissolubility of marriage, his disciples said unto him, "If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is good not to marry."
Contextually, Jesus was talking about a man choosing to remain celibate, or choosing to remain unmarried, or choosing to make himself a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
Nothing that Jesus said has anything to do with a woman desiring to transition into being a man, so stop deluding yourself with that totally unscriptural belief.
You are a female because made you a female.
Whatever your issue truly is, it is not that God made a mistake in creating you.
Something must have happened in your youth to set you down this road you are currently travelling, and you need to seriously inquire of God as to what that something is, and then deal with it accordingly by God's sufficient grace. Should you choose to do things God's way, there will be plenty of Christians who will be willing to help you in this matter.
This is your only viable option before God.