Transgender pain

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Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,860
4,513
113
I got news today. My best friend who has seen my 6 years of torture and my refusal to live in a female body, is looking into right to die, dignity Canada.


"choice (the choice of only accepting one possible solution to feeling out of place in a girl's body)"

You're just so sure I have some kind of choice? If I'm reading this right. At the end of the day I go home to my real involuntary pain from this crippling circumstance wondering what the hell to do. Praying to die makes me feel better.

sometimes I feel most masculine from the way my dignity is shot to hell, my pain is my bitter proof. The way I'll freak out walking down a hallway when I can see my chest. Pain if I don't provide for my family. That's a good pain though I'm glad it's there. I feel it's a very masculine pain.

I don't know the way I reject purses, dresses, nails naturally is how I can see my masculinity. The way in which I love my brothers in brotherhood compared to the conversations females have.

I think there is feminine emotional support and masculine emotional support too, the way some people are closer to mother figures or father figures, maybe they are looking for a certain energy but I really don't know. I just got off a phone call that required me to be assertive and insist that my friend be heard out in front of an important figure in her life. Emotional support is both vague and vast to me. Like God the Father provided Gideon with dry fleece, wet fleece, dreams, an angel, and signs. To comfort him to go up against impossible odds with only three hundred men. Would God turn around and shame the 22,000 he let leave war because they were scared?

Also "Showing mercy is a mans honor" a proverb but I'm too afraid this will erase if I leave the page to look it up

So I can only imagine the other values God sees as masculine.

I think Jesus called me to love so if I fulfill that, I feel masculine. I have roll models that cared about what people where feeling. So many male musicians that want to make a difference in people's lives.
Freud wanted to listen to his clients. I'm stoked I couldn't have been called to a greater love then the ability to listen. Wish I felt better lol.

Defining masculinity and femininity....I would have to go by majority stereotypes and it reminds me of that question "what is a man" or "what is woman". Which everyone will answer differently but I don't mind answering for myself because I'm looking at God sometimes for what he sees as masculine.

How I managed to be no dress hair nails inflections, bubbliness? And then in conversation I align with men I want a freaking beer not no sparkling bs. Why do I always find myself in a stereotype of men?

A dude tried to take a case of water from me as if I couldn't handle it, you know what, my whole life is worthless in that moment. I curse the day I was born like Job. Same about the day I was ever called girl.
It is sad that our culture is seeing a huge rise in drug use, loneliness, depression, and suicide. Death is not so great if we are not eternally saved. But I often contemplate how does God judge illness? If one is not in the right mind then I wonder if they are treated like the mentally handicap or a child. Sure it may have been sin or the fallen nature that led to the illness but God has been known to give people over to a depraved mind.

Anyways. Stereotypes, history, or current male behaviors do not define masculinity. God does in the Bible. Gender has roles that are only designated for that gender. A genetic male can never naturally birth a child. A genetic woman could never naturally keep up with the hard labor force that helps keep society running. Are there exceptions? Sure but never the rule. As to why by majority a woman could never really compete in men's sports.

The LGBT+ falls into the sexual immorality spectrum that God finds detestable.

Your pain could be a byproduct of the sin (living into the lie).

Repentance is key and until it is accepted that believing the lie of transgenderism to be false then the sin will destroy every person it consumes.

Trust the science while ignoring all the testimonies of those who have been permanently scarred, maimed, mutilated, cancer ridden, increased pain, increased suicide attempts, increased depression, and after much regret now once accepting and even loving their gender they can no longer reproduce naturally, breast feed, use the bathroom, etc.

The war is in the brain and spiritual evil, not your DNA. To say otherwise means God made a mistake in creating you.
 
B

beaglehound

Guest
I most have not gotten a notification, I'll be looking for it. So many responses today and good ones too, trying to get to them all
Okay. Take your time. Earlier you said you prefer to put your trust in God and not in humans. A great place to be in.
I'd like to make a couple of comments.
Firstly, God is not a God of confusion. Continue waiting on him.
There is a reason you have come onto this site.
The second thing I'll mention is I admire you for putting it out there. We are encouraged to seek wise and godly counsel. Your are trying to do that. Your anger towards God is understandable. You love God but you are angry with him because you know he created you. So why like this you ask yourself. It must be his fault. God does not contradiction himself.
In time you will get your answer.
Did you watch the video one of the members posted regarding Sophia Gavin. What are your thoughts on the video clip?
 
Sep 28, 2023
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Do you have any Christians in your life to whom you can ask questions and trust the answers they give?
I've got two Christian friends that all support me being male and I trust them, trust God more, as I hope in his mercy. If my counselor isn't a Christian that's going to bother me but it's free. I don't let anyone in my life except for y'all that don't see me as male. God helped me find an lgbt church. That I can't go to because I'm too angry with God. I'm constantly back and forth with love and hate for God.

Probably not what you were hoping to hear in regards to who I had as Christian in my life, but to me that's support from God as opposed to being in the den of the enemy or something.
 
B

beaglehound

Guest
I'm not disagreeing with you. I'd just like to add that while there are intersex people in the world, this has nothing to do with a biological male or female thinking they've been born the wrong gender. This is a psychological issue, not a biological one.
Correct. I was keeping transgenderism out of the equation for a reason. I mention it later on.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
Also "Showing mercy is a mans honor" a proverb but I'm too afraid this will erase if I leave the page to look it up
The second last icon from the far right above every message box (it looks like a floppy disc) will save
what you have in any message should you choose to navigate away from the page before posting.
Actually, the site automatically saves drafts, but it is safer to do it that way, as well. Then everything
is saved for sure. Wait for the little green light to turn off after you click to "
Save draft." Are you on
a phone? I find posting from my phone difficult. But you can also open multiple tabs at once.
Or even multiple windows, and multiple browsers, on most laptops. Not sure about other devices...
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
19,316
6,643
113
62
I've got two Christian friends that all support me being male and I trust them, trust God more, as I hope in his mercy. If my counselor isn't a Christian that's going to bother me but it's free. I don't let anyone in my life except for y'all that don't see me as male. God helped me find an lgbt church. That I can't go to because I'm too angry with God. I'm constantly back and forth with love and hate for God.

Probably not what you were hoping to hear in regards to who I had as Christian in my life, but to me that's support from God as opposed to being in the den of the enemy or something.
Are your Christian friends in the LGBTQ community? How long have they been Christians?
I'm not hoping for anything. I'm just trying to find out what is true concerning you.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
"Showing mercy is a mans honor" a proverb
This one? A man’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

A man’s insight makes him slow to anger, And it is his honor to overlook a transgression.

^That is from the Legacy Standard Bible. Do you have a preferred translation/version you use?

The first one is the Berean Standard Bible.
 
B

beaglehound

Guest
[QUOTE="Greyfray, post: God helped me find an LGBT church......[/QUOTE]

While you may find acceptance in an LGBTQ community Greyfray, you cannot escape biblical teachings.
There are numerous churches where God has given them up. Not given up on them. Simply given them over to their choosing.

How does an Anglican lesbian priest reconcile her chosen lifestyle with Romans chapter one and in good conscience preach the word of God?
It appears you live in Canada. I don't know if you are a CFL fan. There was an excellent running back who played for the Calgary Stampeders. He was raised by lesbian parents. In other words his mother was lesbian. She upgraded her education and went on to become an Anglican priest.
Draw your own conclusions.
 
Sep 28, 2023
89
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It is sad that our culture is seeing a huge rise in drug use, loneliness, depression, and suicide. Death is not so great if we are not eternally saved. But I often contemplate how does God judge illness? If one is not in the right mind then I wonder if they are treated like the mentally handicap or a child. Sure it may have been sin or the fallen nature that led to the illness but God has been known to give people over to a depraved mind.

Anyways. Stereotypes, history, or current male behaviors do not define masculinity. God does in the Bible. Gender has roles that are only designated for that gender. A genetic male can never naturally birth a child. A genetic woman could never naturally keep up with the hard labor force that helps keep society running. Are there exceptions? Sure but never the rule. As to why by majority a woman could never really compete in men's sports.

The LGBT+ falls into the sexual immorality spectrum that God finds detestable.

Your pain could be a byproduct of the sin (living into the lie).

Repentance is key and until it is accepted that believing the lie of transgenderism to be false then the sin will destroy every person it consumes.

Trust the science while ignoring all the testimonies of those who have been permanently scarred, maimed, mutilated, cancer ridden, increased pain, increased suicide attempts, increased depression, and after much regret now once accepting and even loving their gender they can no longer reproduce naturally, breast feed, use the bathroom, etc.

The war is in the brain and spiritual evil, not your DNA. To say otherwise means God made a mistake in creating you.
How many more suicide attempts can I possibly have lol. I don't regret my facial hair. Actually I never relate to the testimonies. I don't want kids I can't even give a cat a pill so I don't own one. God didn't make a mistake, he has some greater good purpose yet I hate him for using me for it at the cost of my torture.
 
Sep 28, 2023
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[QUOTE="Greyfray, post: God helped me find an LGBT church......
While you may find acceptance in an LGBTQ community Greyfray, you cannot escape biblical teachings.
There are numerous churches where God has given them up. Not given up on them. Simply given them over to their choosing.

How does an Anglican lesbian priest reconcile her chosen lifestyle with Romans chapter one and in good conscience preach the word of God?
It appears you live in Canada. I don't know if you are a CFL fan. There was an excellent running back who played for the Calgary Stampeders. He was raised by lesbian parents. In other words his mother was lesbian. She upgraded her education and went on to become an Anglican priest.
Draw your own conclusions.[/QUOTE]

I'm actually in Florida. Found out I would need two years residency. I don't want to cost my friend that much money so I feel God closed the assisted suicide door for now.
 
Sep 28, 2023
89
17
8
This one? A man’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

A man’s insight makes him slow to anger, And it is his honor to overlook a transgression.

^That is from the Legacy Standard Bible. Do you have a preferred translation/version you use?

The first one is the Berean Standard Bible.
Thank you!!! Awesome my king james version says it sooo much cooler though,

"The discretion of a man defferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression"

So yes I do look to God for my masculinity
 
Sep 28, 2023
89
17
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Are your Christian friends in the LGBTQ community? How long have they been Christians?
I'm not hoping for anything. I'm just trying to find out what is true concerning you.
Hey there. One Christian is lgbt (Rooster), Christian for probably 15+ years. 32 years old. Taught me Jesus is God.

The other is cisgender, (Dia) 32? years old, if y'all are okay with me using that term. Non lgbt. She taught me about the mustard seed and is always asking about my faith. Unknown how long she's been a Christian
 
Sep 28, 2023
89
17
8
The second last icon from the far right above every message box (it looks like a floppy disc) will save
what you have in any message should you choose to navigate away from the page before posting.
Actually, the site automatically saves drafts, but it is safer to do it that way, as well. Then everything
is saved for sure. Wait for the little green light to turn off after you click to "
Save draft." Are you on
a phone? I find posting from my phone difficult. But you can also open multiple tabs at once.
Or even multiple windows, and multiple browsers, on most laptops. Not sure about other devices...
Thank you that's great to know. The site definitely saves drafts lol, I wasn't going to post the assisted suicide thing, navigated away from the page and came back to reply to someone and there it posted lol. I'll have to be sure to erase whatever in the future
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
19,316
6,643
113
62
Hey there. One Christian is lgbt (Rooster), Christian for probably 15+ years. 32 years old. Taught me Jesus is God.

The other is cisgender, (Dia) 32? years old, if y'all are okay with me using that term. Non lgbt. She taught me about the mustard seed and is always asking about my faith. Unknown how long she's been a Christian
Ok. I do have 1 more question for you to consider. And I'm not really asking for a reply, but that you might prayerfully consider your answer. Do you believe as you do, and receive council of those you do, because you truly believe it is right and true, or because it allows for you to live as you please?
Again, I'm not expecting an answer. I just ask you to consider the question before the Lord.
 
Sep 28, 2023
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Job ultimately abhorred himself and repented in dust and ashes (Job 42:6) after God had finished thoroughly rebuking him for darkening counsel by words without knowledge (Job 38:2), and for seeking to condemn God while wrongly portraying himself as being righteous (Job 40:8).

In fact, had Job not repented, then he would have faced God's wrath, and even a great ransom would not have been able to redeem him (Job 36:18).

You have continually blamed God for your situation, and you are totally wrong in doing so.

As I advised you to do once before, you need to pray to God and ask him what the real issue is with your refusal to be who he created you to be.

Is it possible that you were victimized as a child, and that caused some sort of psychological damage?

I would get on my knees and ask God if I were you.

You said
In fact, had Job not repented, then he would have faced God's wrath, and even a great ransom would not have been able to redeem him (Job 36:18).

That's Elihu Job's bad company saying that, Job 42:8, it was folly, job was right

"wrongly portraying himself as being righteous (Job 40:8)."

That was heartbreaking, I thought at least Job didn't curse God. This is new to me want to discuss it with my friends.

In the ultimate end job was right, God did not plead against him physically with his great power but blessed him. I do think God came at Job in great power though.

I think God approaches us all differently, at least from Gideon being sent an angel, Moses a burning bush, ect ...I just plead with God that he doesn't discipline me in hot displeasure for being so angry at him, it does say blasphemy against the Son will be forgiven. I pray for my day in court with God over all my suffering.
 

seekingthemindofChrist

Casting down imaginations
Jul 10, 2023
1,178
573
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That's Elihu Job's bad company saying that, Job 42:8, it was folly, job was right.
Elihu was not Job's bad company, and Job was wrong until he put his hand over his mouth, abhorred himself, and repented in dust and ashes.

Regarding Elihu, God rebuked Job and his three other friends, but he never rebuked Elihu because everything that Elihu said was accurate.
 

seekingthemindofChrist

Casting down imaginations
Jul 10, 2023
1,178
573
113
I pray for my day in court with God over all my suffering.
Why don't you just pray to him now?

This is what I can tell you of a certainty:

1. God created you as a female, and he did not make a mistake when he did so.
2. You have been unjustly condemning God, and you need to repent for that.
3. Something obviously happened somewhere along the line to create this ongoing dilemma/pain inside of you, but it is not God's fault.

Here is what I am thinking:

Your mother's ex-boyfriend was a pedophile.
Your biological father had to take a lie detector test in relation to possible pedophilia.

These two truths lead me to believe that there was some sort of sexual abuse committed against you as a young child.

If such is indeed the case, then it makes sense, from a psychological perspective, that you might have adopted a male persona as a result of possible sexual abuse. In other words, your thinking could have gone something like this:

This would have never happened to me if I had been a strong male.

This could also explain why you detest being a female so much.

As I have suggested more than once already, if I were you, then I would seriously pray to God and ask him if you suffered some sort of sexual abuse as a young child. If you did, then it is quite possible that you put up some sort of wall within your psyche to block that horror out. I also think that this is a distinct possibility in that none of your relatives, from what you have shared here in the past, have filled you in about your early childhood. In other words, it seems as if they are hiding something from you or seeking to shelter you from some horrific abuse that may have been committed against you.

I obviously cannot force you to pray to God along these lines, but it would be better for you to find out about these things now than to have to have your day in court with him when you die and find out then.

Whatever you may think about me, I have been praying for you.
 
Sep 28, 2023
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Ok. I do have 1 more question for you to consider. And I'm not really asking for a reply, but that you might prayerfully consider your answer. Do you believe as you do, and receive council of those you do, because you truly believe it is right and true, or because it allows for you to live as you please?
Again, I'm not expecting an answer. I just ask you to consider the question before the Lord.
Guess I felt compelled to reply;
I ask God now if there is any untruth in any of my pain to reveal it, search me and know me God, in Jesus name I pray
 
Sep 28, 2023
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Elihu was not Job's bad company, and Job was wrong until he put his hand over his mouth, abhorred himself, and repented in dust and ashes.

Regarding Elihu, God rebuked Job and his three other friends, but he never rebuked Elihu because everything that Elihu said was accurate.
Maybe I was wrong, will have to look into this