I got news today. My best friend who has seen my 6 years of torture and my refusal to live in a female body, is looking into right to die, dignity Canada.
"choice (the choice of only accepting one possible solution to feeling out of place in a girl's body)"
You're just so sure I have some kind of choice? If I'm reading this right. At the end of the day I go home to my real involuntary pain from this crippling circumstance wondering what the hell to do. Praying to die makes me feel better.
sometimes I feel most masculine from the way my dignity is shot to hell, my pain is my bitter proof. The way I'll freak out walking down a hallway when I can see my chest. Pain if I don't provide for my family. That's a good pain though I'm glad it's there. I feel it's a very masculine pain.
I don't know the way I reject purses, dresses, nails naturally is how I can see my masculinity. The way in which I love my brothers in brotherhood compared to the conversations females have.
I think there is feminine emotional support and masculine emotional support too, the way some people are closer to mother figures or father figures, maybe they are looking for a certain energy but I really don't know. I just got off a phone call that required me to be assertive and insist that my friend be heard out in front of an important figure in her life. Emotional support is both vague and vast to me. Like God the Father provided Gideon with dry fleece, wet fleece, dreams, an angel, and signs. To comfort him to go up against impossible odds with only three hundred men. Would God turn around and shame the 22,000 he let leave war because they were scared?
Also "Showing mercy is a mans honor" a proverb but I'm too afraid this will erase if I leave the page to look it up
So I can only imagine the other values God sees as masculine.
I think Jesus called me to love so if I fulfill that, I feel masculine. I have roll models that cared about what people where feeling. So many male musicians that want to make a difference in people's lives.
Freud wanted to listen to his clients. I'm stoked I couldn't have been called to a greater love then the ability to listen. Wish I felt better lol.
Defining masculinity and femininity....I would have to go by majority stereotypes and it reminds me of that question "what is a man" or "what is woman". Which everyone will answer differently but I don't mind answering for myself because I'm looking at God sometimes for what he sees as masculine.
How I managed to be no dress hair nails inflections, bubbliness? And then in conversation I align with men I want a freaking beer not no sparkling bs. Why do I always find myself in a stereotype of men?
A dude tried to take a case of water from me as if I couldn't handle it, you know what, my whole life is worthless in that moment. I curse the day I was born like Job. Same about the day I was ever called girl.
"choice (the choice of only accepting one possible solution to feeling out of place in a girl's body)"
You're just so sure I have some kind of choice? If I'm reading this right. At the end of the day I go home to my real involuntary pain from this crippling circumstance wondering what the hell to do. Praying to die makes me feel better.
sometimes I feel most masculine from the way my dignity is shot to hell, my pain is my bitter proof. The way I'll freak out walking down a hallway when I can see my chest. Pain if I don't provide for my family. That's a good pain though I'm glad it's there. I feel it's a very masculine pain.
I don't know the way I reject purses, dresses, nails naturally is how I can see my masculinity. The way in which I love my brothers in brotherhood compared to the conversations females have.
I think there is feminine emotional support and masculine emotional support too, the way some people are closer to mother figures or father figures, maybe they are looking for a certain energy but I really don't know. I just got off a phone call that required me to be assertive and insist that my friend be heard out in front of an important figure in her life. Emotional support is both vague and vast to me. Like God the Father provided Gideon with dry fleece, wet fleece, dreams, an angel, and signs. To comfort him to go up against impossible odds with only three hundred men. Would God turn around and shame the 22,000 he let leave war because they were scared?
Also "Showing mercy is a mans honor" a proverb but I'm too afraid this will erase if I leave the page to look it up
So I can only imagine the other values God sees as masculine.
I think Jesus called me to love so if I fulfill that, I feel masculine. I have roll models that cared about what people where feeling. So many male musicians that want to make a difference in people's lives.
Freud wanted to listen to his clients. I'm stoked I couldn't have been called to a greater love then the ability to listen. Wish I felt better lol.
Defining masculinity and femininity....I would have to go by majority stereotypes and it reminds me of that question "what is a man" or "what is woman". Which everyone will answer differently but I don't mind answering for myself because I'm looking at God sometimes for what he sees as masculine.
How I managed to be no dress hair nails inflections, bubbliness? And then in conversation I align with men I want a freaking beer not no sparkling bs. Why do I always find myself in a stereotype of men?
A dude tried to take a case of water from me as if I couldn't handle it, you know what, my whole life is worthless in that moment. I curse the day I was born like Job. Same about the day I was ever called girl.
Anyways. Stereotypes, history, or current male behaviors do not define masculinity. God does in the Bible. Gender has roles that are only designated for that gender. A genetic male can never naturally birth a child. A genetic woman could never naturally keep up with the hard labor force that helps keep society running. Are there exceptions? Sure but never the rule. As to why by majority a woman could never really compete in men's sports.
The LGBT+ falls into the sexual immorality spectrum that God finds detestable.
Your pain could be a byproduct of the sin (living into the lie).
Repentance is key and until it is accepted that believing the lie of transgenderism to be false then the sin will destroy every person it consumes.
Trust the science while ignoring all the testimonies of those who have been permanently scarred, maimed, mutilated, cancer ridden, increased pain, increased suicide attempts, increased depression, and after much regret now once accepting and even loving their gender they can no longer reproduce naturally, breast feed, use the bathroom, etc.
The war is in the brain and spiritual evil, not your DNA. To say otherwise means God made a mistake in creating you.
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