All That Potential...

This is a really interesting thread, Little Mermaid.

While I have to agree to some extent that women look at potential because men are supposed to be providers, nowadays, with the need for two-income households being almost a necessity, I have to think that it's becoming an attitude across both genders.

Most men I know are looking for a woman who's going to bring home at least a couple slices of cheddar, if not the whole wheel.

For example, I worked with a guy who was known to have a troubled relationship, and when asked if he was going to leave, he said, "Heck no. She's gonna be banking in two years (graduating and presumably getting a well-paying job), so all I need to do is wait until then."

And now I'm going to have to remember to ask my Mom about this thread topic sometime, and if she ever thought about my Dad's "potential." She met my Dad when she was 13 and he was 15 and working as a bagger in a grocery store. When she was 16, she begged my Grandpa to let her go to a basketball game with my Dad at school. He picked her up in a beaten-up car that was so loud (and not on purpose) that you could hear it coming from the other side of a hill.

A few years later, she married my Dad, and he was still working in that grocery store. He never left, and is one of the few people still around who worked for and with the original founder of that chain of stores.

But my parents had no idea what their future was going to be at the time. Their first "house" was a $5000 trailer. I asked my Mom once if she ever thought their lives would turn out the way they did and she said, "Oh no--I thought I'd be living in that trailer for the rest of my life!"

But obviously, she didn't care about any of that. All she cared about was that she was going to be with my Dad, building a life together, whatever it looked like, and serving God as they went, and God did all the rest.

Actually this tends to be a predominately female trait. Women marry men expecting to change them. Men marry women expecting them to never change.
Just as the movie states, women tend see men as potential.

So I was watching the movie "Zookeeper" last night. Kevin James' character is dumped by his girlfriend for being a zookeeper. His girlfriend wants a guy with money and constantly talks about all the "potential" Griffin (Kevin's character) has. She said she loved him and wanted to marry him at the end of the movie...but only after he changed his career to please her. Griffin looks in the mirror and realizes that he's not happy anymore.

It got me thinking about how we view relationships. All those with "potential," seem like a good fit for us...but only after they make a few changes. I'll be honest, I've done this many times. I meet a guy and even if I find something about him that I don't like...I assume he will change and be better once we get married. It's a silly and immature thing to do...I know. But I am starting to realize that it's quite common.

So my questions are...
Why can't we accept someone for who they are instead of trying to put them in a box of "potential?" Why can't we admit that we ourselves have untapped potential and maybe we are happy not tapping into it...just like Griffin.
In the movie, Griffin was a successful salesman. He was making dough! But he wasn't happy because his true passion was being a zookeeper.

Here is the trailer for the movie. I recommend it, it's cute!

I saw that movie too. At first I thought it had great potential.... but after awhile I accepted the fact that it was a dud... King of Queens was one of my favorite shows.

Aw really? I thought it was a really cute movie. But my brother always makes fun of me because I like "stupid" movies.

All that potential, and I'm just wasting it!

This is a really interesting thread, Little Mermaid.

While I have to agree to some extent that women look at potential because men are supposed to be providers, nowadays, with the need for two-income households being almost a necessity, I have to think that it's becoming an attitude across both genders.

Most men I know are looking for a woman who's going to bring home at least a couple slices of cheddar, if not the whole wheel.

For example, I worked with a guy who was known to have a troubled relationship, and when asked if he was going to leave, he said, "Heck no. She's gonna be banking in two years (graduating and presumably getting a well-paying job), so all I need to do is wait until then."

And now I'm going to have to remember to ask my Mom about this thread topic sometime, and if she ever thought about my Dad's "potential." She met my Dad when she was 13 and he was 15 and working as a bagger in a grocery store. When she was 16, she begged my Grandpa to let her go to a basketball game with my Dad at school. He picked her up in a beaten-up car that was so loud (and not on purpose) that you could hear it coming from the other side of a hill.

A few years later, she married my Dad, and he was still working in that grocery store. He never left, and is one of the few people still around who worked for and with the original founder of that chain of stores.

But my parents had no idea what their future was going to be at the time. Their first "house" was a $5000 trailer. I asked my Mom once if she ever thought their lives would turn out the way they did and she said, "Oh no--I thought I'd be living in that trailer for the rest of my life!"

But obviously, she didn't care about any of that. All she cared about was that she was going to be with my Dad, building a life together, whatever it looked like, and serving God as they went, and God did all the rest.

seoulsearch: Well there you get into differing definitions of what "success" is. What is your goal for life, what do you want to be able to look back on and say "this is what I have accomplished with my life"? Is it making a lot of money, or being really important in your society, or being really strong, or what?

I have many potentials that I have not filled because they are not things I think are important in life. I seem to be outvoted by the majority who keep complaining about my wasted potential.

Hey Lynx,
My last post wasn't about success at all. It's still about potential.

The reason I mention success is because I think what people see as "successful" is what they use to measure how much potential they think somebody has. Different people see different potential in almost everything and everybody, because they have different ideas of what is important and what is ultimately successful in life.

At the end of Moses' life there would probably be some people who would still deem his whole life a failure, because he didn't die rich and comfortable in Pharaoh's palace. What a waste of potential. Even if they read the Bible, the things Moses accomplished wouldn't be important to them. To other people Moses' life was a big success, and they would have considered it a waste of potential if Moses had remained in the palace.

I think sometimes a mans point of view is to measure "success" in life monitarily since they originally were supposed to be the providers for thier family..