Can no longer separate sex from sin

That's a wonderful sentiment.

Most of us are students on this site but then there are the scholars...

And I know it's not true. I know God is enough, but I also know he wants me to be happy. But happiness is unstable and people often sin because they want to be happy.

What you have said is true. It is best to let God be your source of happiness but like you have said, happiness is fleeting and often elusive. Perhaps it would be better to pray for joy and contentment during our stay here on earth.

Do you remember that parable I posted? Here it is if you don't.

A loving and generous Father once bought his son a shiny new bicycle. With a broad smile, the Father surprised the son and rolled it out and handed it to him. Strangely, rather than looking happy, the son looked anxious. Rather than riding the bike, he stepped away from it in fear. The Father asked the child what was wrong. The son replied, “Father, I cannot ride the bike. All around the world there are missionaries who do not have a bike. I would like to give them my bike so that they can ride it to unreached peoples and preach the gospel. The Father replied, “If you simply ask me, I am glad to also give you a second bike to give to a missionary.” Yet, rather than simply riding the bike, the son continued to argue with his Father, saying, “I would much prefer an older bicycle. This one is shiny and new. It makes me look proud if I ride it.” The Father explained, “If I want you to ride the bike I gave you, and you are more concerned about what others think of you as you ride it than my joy in seeing you enjoy my gift to you, then you may look humble to them, but I know there is pride in your heart because you are living for their approval instead of my joy.” Unrelenting, the son said, “But some people will talk about my bicycle out of judgment, envy, or jealousy because it is so nice. Some might even stumble and covet my bicycle. I do not want them to sin, and so I would rather not have a new bike so as to be considerate of them.” The Father replied, “If others respond to my grace to you in this way, the problem is not the bicycle but their hearts. I will deal with their hearts should they prove sinful—something you assume will happen but do not know. I will love and serve them by working to change their heart if they respond sinfully. But for you, my request is that you simply ride the bicycle I gave you. You are thinking about it too much and enjoying it too little.” The Father walked away for a few hours, kindly asking the son to consider his request. Upon returning, the son had yet another line of reasoning. “Father, I will not ride the bike because I am fearful. I fear that it is so nice and I would enjoy it so much that it would become an idol to me. So, to avoid idolatry I will abstain from riding the bicycle.” The Father replied, “You could also ride your bike as an act of worship to me, enjoying the gift I gave you to your joy and my glory. Once again, the problem is not the bicycle.” The son replied, “But Father, you are better than any bicycle. You are enough. I do not need a bicycle. I have you. You, Father, are enough.” Grieved in his heart, the Father said, “I know I am enough. But I am a generous Father. I like to give gifts to my children. I like to see them blessed, happy, and free. I just wanted to watch you ride the bike. And I wanted to go for a ride with you. Then, we could have had fun, spend time together, make memories, and laugh.” Tragically, the son never did ride the bicycle. Instead, he gave it away. He did not cause anyone to stumble, or treat his bike as an idol. And he did not obey his Father and worship him by simply being a kid and enjoying the gift his Father gave him because he was too busy being a theologian with a head full of fears rather than a heart full of fun.”

It's one reason I struggle with being depressed. My brain likes black and white. Clear and unclear. Hot and cold. Nothing in between. It pretty much thinks in extremes. And keeping it in a grey area takes a lot of mental energy, which is distressing.

So, when I hear people say sex is a good thing, despite all the terrible ways sex has hurt people, I don't believe them. I toss out the baby with the bathwater. I know hypocrisy when I see it. You can say it's a good thing if you're in a happy marriage. But what if you've been raped, abused, were trafficked, cheated on, got pregnant out of wedlock, got an STD, etc? Would you think it was good if you went through any of that?

I enjoyed this very much and found it to be spiritually correct. and edifying. God want us to have life and have it more abundantly. Thank you for posting this.

All of those things are horrible and feel bad for anyone having to go through that.

but not everyone stays in the past and blames the act instead of the one who didnt..or spiritual components

Then by that logic, everything is good and there's no such thing as sin. Fire may be used to keep a house warm, but it can also burn that house down and everyone inside. Why do you think a lot of houses have virtual fires rather than real ones?

by your logic then forgiveness and moving forward is unnecissary... go on keep showing your true colours

i thought feelings dont matter so why should someone keep a house warm and a roof over someones head

I don't want happiness or joy or any positive emotion. It all too frequently goes away. Besides, we live in a fallen world and heaven will not be fallen. So why bother trying to be happy here anyway? It's a waste of time.
Because we're commanded to. Love does what's best for the other person regardless of feeling.

the Bible says when God created, it was good. He saw that it was good.

sadly, sin entered. things were corrupted. everything that is good can be used for evil when there are no boundaries.

for example, I thank God for giving us taste buds. we are able to enjoy all kinds of foods/desserts. He didn't have to give us taste buds, but He did. now.... if I don't put boundaries/limits, my health can be at jeopardy. everybody on CC knows I love pizza, but I shouldn't eat it every single day.

God created sex. He saw that it was good. sin corrupted the genuine design. but sex used in the way God intended it is beautiful. it's not only for procreation but also for bonding with your spouse. (please note: it's not the ONLY way to bond with your spouse.) everybody who is/has been married will testify that in marriage, outside of the bedroom affects inside the bedroom. a healthy marriage is going to include sex. it's meant to be enjoyed. a healthy marriage has a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical connection between spouses.

Again though, no matter how much anyone may say that, I will always think of all the harm that's done through sex and all the harm that comes from eating only what tastes good. I'd rather not have to deal with it at all.

yes, a lot of harm has been done. several people on CC have experienced it. several are victims of such ugly crimes. some have been healed. others are still on the road to healing.

and we have several (or perhaps a lot) of marriages that, although with struggles that life brings, have a successful marriages in all areas. all through God.

if you, or anyone, doesn't want to deal with it at all, that's ok.

Problem is, I would like to be married eventually. You may all be able to enjoy these things, but my longing for these and wanting to enjoy all things good has only caused me pain. All my life I've been different from everyone else. I think differently than everyone else. I do have emotions, but my default way of thinking is logic. Every day I have something to criticize myself over, and more often than not, I'm my own worst critic.

No matter what I do I always struggle with not being good enough, not being a good enough Christian or friend or family member. That I'm stupid for forgetting things and lazy for not leaving the house more. That I feel like I need to hate nonbelievers. That I should be ashamed of myself for eating anything that costs over $5 'cause most people in the world are starving. That I'm a wh*re for struggling with reading erotic fiction when, as a virgin, I'm supposed to pretend that desire doesn't exist. That I deserve nothing good or anything that remotely feels good.

I KNOW perfectionism is not possible. But my brain doesn't care. Anything less than utter perfection is utterly unacceptable.

And I have tried literally everything I can think of to get out of this place for YEARS. I tried counseling, tried to reach out more, tried a different church, tried doing a prayer journal and reading my bible and do anything related to my faith for months. And nothing has ever worked. So after a long list of disappointments, I don't want to bother trying again.

I know, it's relationship not religion. Well, unfortunately, not all of us can have close relationships. I have tried that a lot with all of my loved ones and people I'd like to be friends with. But I lack the ability to really get close to anyone. So relationship with God theology makes absolutely no sense to me. It makes even less sense than people because God is not a human being, no matter what theologians and pastors might say.

Even when I tried relating to him in that way, I've always viewed God as an abstract figure. I know what the Bible says about him, but because God is not a human being, it's next to impossible for me to imagine him having any human-like traits. My motivation in being a Christian is driven more by the rules (the system) in theology and being a good person rather than the anthropomorphizing of and relating to God.

You may think I'm just being rebellious, but I literally do not come with the wiring of being able to connect easily with people. And unfortunately, my faith has only given me another opportunity to feel like an outsider. I've never been burned by anyone or anything. But I view faith differently from everyone else, so it's easier for me to believe I must be a bad Christian.

And let me ask you this. If God wanted a relationship with me, why make it ten times harder for me than the average person?

And just a thought, few things infuriate me more, like with hellfire fury, than rape. And what makes me even madder is that I can't do anything about it. Nothing. I'm just one powerless human being. Worse yet, I myself am a woman, therefore I'm more likely to experience it even though I never have. And even worse than that, if anyone does that to my three-year-old niece, there is going to be H*LL to pay...

Call me unChristian, but people forget Jesus wasn't just this nicey-nice guy who "loved" everyone. WRONG. He flipped the tables in the temple. Why? Because he was ANGRY! If we don't allow ourselves to get angry at things like this sexual abuse epidemic, when God himself gets angry about such monstrous and demonic (yes, and I say that without apology) actions, will we really have any humanity in us left?

As much as we would like to stay in our own comfortable widdle Christian bubble, Christians need to realize that there are people in this world who just want to do evil. Who have given their hearts over to Satan and will not change, no matter what you do or say. You cannot change them. No one can. God himself cannot change somebody.

There are dangerous, demon-inspired people in this world. They do not share our thoughts or beliefs or "good hearts." They do not CARE. We're not allowed to be "comfy" over stuff like this. We should be outright ashamed of ourselves for failing so many people.

Jesus himself said if anyone causes little children to stumble, then it would be better for that person to be thrown into a lake, with a heavy rock around their neck, to DROWN. That's how seriously he takes this stuff.

And don't you dare say to me, "Oh, but, the Church is the Bride of Christ. We live in an era of grace!" I call BS. You know why? The nation of Israel in the Old Testament did the EXACT SAME THING. They said, "Oh, we're God's chosen people! God will bless us!"

The same analogy is there, God is the husband of Israel. And after everything he did for her, what did she do? She flipped him off and said, "F you, I'm gonna do what I want." She slept around with other idols and idolatrous nations, she sacrificed her own children, she did things that would SHOCK us nowadays.

The prophets had the unenviable task of trying to get her to change her ways, but she ignored every single one of them. She was so filled with pride that she forgot about the warnings God implemented when he made his covenant with her. And what happened? Did he just let her have her way 'cause he "loved" her?

No. He worked through one of the most barbaric nations at the time by allowing them to plunder and pillage and enslave her. She didn't keep her side of the bargain, but he did.

My point is God is not mocked. And the humiliation the church is now suffering I can only pray will open their eyes and force them to change their ways. God does not care about someone's status or wealth or social standing or degrees or church position or any of that nonsense. We all have the same responsibilities and are accountable to each other.

Paul tells us to openly SHUN unrepentant sinners, especially those involved in sexual sin, until they either come to their senses and repent, or are completely given over to Satan. And that's real love right there. Yes, love. Love does not stand by and say nothing and watch while you destroy your own life and the lives of others.

I only pray that the church finally awakens and openly repents of doing nothing, of not being wise, and preferring their own comfort at the expense of victims and everyone else involved.

Here are the verses for the Biblical practice of shunning, which unfortunately, many Christians seem to overlook or forget.

Romans 16:17 (RSV) I appeal to you, brethren, to take note of those who create dissensions and difficulties, in opposition to the doctrine which you have been taught; avoid them.

1 Corinthians 5:11 But rather I wrote to you not to associate with any one who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber — not even to eat with such a one.

2 Timothy 2:23 Have nothing to do with stupid, senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is living in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us.

Titus 3:9-11 But avoid stupid controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels over the law, for they are unprofitable and futile. [10] As for a man who is factious, after admonishing him once or twice, have nothing more to do with him, [11] knowing that such a person is perverted and sinful; he is self-condemned.

Matthew 18:17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

1 Corinthians 5:1-5 It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment in the name of the Lord Jesus on the man who has done such a thing. When you are assembled, and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

1 Timothy 1:19-20 . . . By rejecting conscience, certain persons have made shipwreck of their faith, among them Hymenae’us and Alexander, whom I have delivered to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.

Matthew 10:13-14 And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. [14] And if any one will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town.

History Princess
I just want to be clear, this post is for you mainly, but if other people are interested they could learn from this also.
How are you? You know when I first found this thread, The way you first presented it. It sounded as if your self-had done some scrupulous things and was having a hard time forgiving your self.
And everyone else was like that's not the unforgivable sin, You need to change your ways sure but if God can forgive you. Well, you should be able to forgive you.
Now I'm seeing it in a different light, I still think you are confusing some issues, But I see where you are coming from. I have been watching this thread. I suspect that like me you have knowledge of things that the ordinary public doesn't know or care to know about, I won't go into detail but if you think Sodom and Gomora were bad, We have surpassed them about 20 years ago. I get now your not mad at your self, your mad at the world, But It is those things that will hasten the speedy return of the Lord, You really weren't very clear in the beginning.
Sex is a tool, and everybody knows when you start stealing their tools you are going to become a target. And when you say sex is a sin you are stealing their tools, There are different kinds of sex and they're not all sin. Maybe if you were to clarify which sex you are talking about. You may not see it this away but that is how I see it. But I can tell you this, It is being done by design and it has been going on since Nimrod, ( I believe Cain but that's a different study,) not sure how you feel about those kids in the past, But they suffered too and GOD has something reserved for those that did those things, just like he does for those ones that are doing it today, Again this is not the place to get into this but the Bible calls it Molech worship and it is being done by the Nicolaitans in revelations, Even in our time, I would give names but this is no place to talk politics, No wonder GOD spewed them out of his mouth, As much as we don't like it this is part of end-time prophecy, if you get in the way of that you will get run over. You just have to live in the world, don't be part of it, I have to tell my self that all the time, Now this is probably too much info ( TMI ). But even with all of that I still enjoy sex with my wife and I don't feel bad about it, Just using the tools GOD gave me, That's kind of like blaming a car for running people over or the gun shooting people. When the whole time it is the people behind the scene.
I have enjoyed our conversation, I will give you a chance to reply, Again this is just food for thought, I know I can't change your mind any more than you can change mine, I have it sealed in my mind, and my heart.
Thanks for listening.