Setting the Bar High

It is interesting that the original quote came from a man who is in an amazing Christian marriage with a woman who adores him equally.

I suppose it takes two who are equally committed at the same time to make this work.

It has been somewhat surprising at how men tended to be offended on here with this quote. I suppose I had different expectations. I most certainly am not a woman on a pedestal and yet the men seem almost bitter to a point.

It is a very interesting study in expectations and reality to me.

It is interesting that the original quote came from a man who is in an amazing Christian marriage with a woman who adores him equally.

I suppose it takes two who are equally committed at the same time to make this work.

It has been somewhat surprising at how men tended to be offended on here with this quote. I suppose I had different expectations. I most certainly am not a woman on a pedestal and yet the men seem almost bitter to a point.

It is a very interesting study in expectations and reality to me.

Hi Hallmark,
your observations are valid - observations...
So it would appear that your 'study in expectations' has served as a pseudo social experiment within the lense of a small sampling of feedback from a single CC forum... Meaning - this small data sample is merely a small representation of men/women, and like any small data sample it is only a small representation and at best only provides 'generalizations via observations.'
Yes, while a man wrote this quote, and lots of man-folk here have even ribbed at the author being a male outlier...
While it is likely that the author is somewhat of a male outlier - that does not mean that there are not other men out there like him (albeit maybe not as many as hoped - but still possible).
After all this thread is all about 'setting the bar high'...
My observation is that this thread has served to validate that hypothesis... Meaning christian standards should be set higher than the norm...
Yes, it is commendable and admirable, and yes evidently it is possible, it is not common - but it is still possible to hope for such a dream... and it may be worth holding those standards high... we should at least hope and pray...

No one said this would be easy... If it were easy - we wouldn't have to set the bar so high... All we can hope for is to give it the ol' college try...

You know, when I first read the quote, my original thought was "do men really have the capability to love a woman that intensely?"

Speaking only from my own personal experience, I can say I have never had that in my life. I guess that is why I enjoyed it and thought how blessed she must be.

I, personally, happen to be incredibly thankful for me. I pray that I, one day, may get to experience something even close to this. I have that high bar set and if it does not come to fruition, then it was not God's will for my life.

It still makes me kind of sad that so many men see that statement as derogatory. I guess I just value men too much to view it that way. 🙂

This quote is interesting to me. Do God honoring men and women, who are single, still exist and choose to set their bar high as they are praying for the person God has for them?

Are men and women capable of giving everything of themselves to another.....all in God's timing?

"But ladies... don't settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, respect, and the love of God are not optional for men, they are essential."

It is possible for a man to love like that. My own father was like that toward my mom. And I have once felt that way as well.
But as a man it's also not common to see in women anymore either. Mostly people approach relationships selfishly. It takes becoming selfless to love like that and that's something few people of either gender are willing to attempt.

Setting the bar high is one thing but having unreasonable expectations is another thing altogether. Set the bar too high and combined with naïve requirements and one will probably remain single and alone all of their life. There are no perfect men or women but there are many Christian men and women.

Yes there are many Christian men and women but that’s just a label - many label themselves as “Christians” but live and act totally the opposite. Not judging, just being honest.

Setting the bar high is one thing but having unreasonable expectations is another thing altogether. Set the bar too high and combined with naïve requirements and one will probably remain single and alone all of their life. There are no perfect men or women but there are many Christian men and women.

You know, when I first read the quote, my original thought was "do men really have the capability to love a woman that intensely?"

Speaking only from my own personal experience, I can say I have never had that in my life. I guess that is why I enjoyed it and thought how blessed she must be.

I, personally, happen to be incredibly thankful for me. I pray that I, one day, may get to experience something even close to this. I have that high bar set and if it does not come to fruition, then it was not God's will for my life.

It still makes me kind of sad that so many men see that statement as derogatory. I guess I just value men too much to view it that way. 🙂

Consider some potential script flipping in this regard:
Rather than you feeling sad about what so many men think - pray for those who seemingly fall short of your christian beliefs and expectations...
But more importantly praise Him for revealing that there are still a select few men who still do measure up to holding these common values... + or - a few indiscretions/imperfections along the way... mindful that: 'to err is human - to forgive is divine.'
After all it is more likely those few who do measure up who are the most hopeful candidates likely to be the one for you...
At the same time it is important to be realistic, understanding and aware of the danger of setting the bar too high.
Mindful that at the end of the day 'there is no such thing as a perfect union - only two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.'

Mindful that at the end of the day 'there is no such thing as a perfect union - only two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.'

....naïve requirements?

This was really just a discussion about that quote. I am single, but not really looking one way or the other for someone in my life. It was just more of a discussion about the quote and a man's love for his wife which seems quite rare these days.

Perfection only exists in one and that is the one I love with all of my heart. Here on earth, we all fall short. It was just nice to see a man who adores his wife.