Hi! New here & not sure where to start.

Up until April my life was full of work, homelife, and lots of outside activities. Wow, that changed in a matter of hours. In the middle of the night I woke up with a blinding headache, and after 2 days of misdiagnosis, on the 3rd trip to the ER they confirmed I had bacterial meningitis. I had heard of it, but didn't know alot about it. I just thought, "OK, get rid of this pain, get me some antibiotics & get me back home and back to work." BIG NO! Did not work out that way. I am blessed that I lived through it. I am blessed that I didn't go septic and lose limbs/extremities, eyesight, hearing, organ failure. But I have been left with invisible disabilities that are really getting me down. Constant headaches, neck and spine pain, muscle pain, memory loss. Any activity or stress worsens the symptoms. I can't work or enjoy the activities I use to be able to do. I can't enjoy social gatherings. Noone understands. They want me to be the old me and get aggrevated with me. Especially my family. I've always been the strong one. The one that took care of everything. Now I just can't. My love for and faith in God helps me tremendously, but I find myself getting sadder and angrier at the people around me more lately, and not knowing where or what to do from here.

Welcome to CC. You may want to post this in the Family forum instead of the Introductions forum. Please read my depression and pain testimonies, found by clicking the link in my signature. If anyone knows about back pain, it's me.. lol

Meningone, welcome to the CC! Lots of places to go in here in forums? 🤗

Welcome, Meningone... we're glad the Lord preserved you and led you here. Grab a coffee and settle in!

I am sorry to hear about the residual effects of your illness. Hopefully, a lot of these issues may eventually leave or the severity lessoned. A lot of other peeps here with various health issues also so please know that you are not alone in this. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you join our community. Welcome to CC.

Welcome to CC Meninggone..

May the LORD give you the strengh of mind to perservere through this.. Or may He grant you healing to free you from this.. May you continue in Faith no matter what the will of God is..

Hi Menigone...
This season in your life is great time to take your eyes off the people who bring you down , and just fix your eyes on our Lord , for He said " Come to Me ALL those who are weary and heavy laden , and I will give you rest "...
He is our Comfort , He alone is our Strength , rest in Him , and do not forget , your tears are prayers when you know what not to pray...xox...

Thank you. I began by asking for healing, and also had prayers and anointing with my church family. I still often pray for healing if it be His will. Of course I don't know God's thoughts, but I'm thinking He has some purpose in this. My faith does stay strong, I would be nowhere without Christ, He is my everything. I do sometimes question why I must endure the constant pain, and pray that I could just enjoy time with my family, my church and some social activity. And to do something besides sit at home and do nothing. I want to be able to go out do something to help others, to serve in someway. so i just keep praying that He will reveal His will and purpose to me and lead me to where and what He wants me to do.

Thank you. And I do keep my eyes on the Lord as much as possible. He is definately my strength, sustainer, and comforter. But the peope who say "You should be better by now", "You think it's bad now, wait tilyou're my age", "You're young, what pains could you have?", "I'm sick of you being sick", "If you didn't think about it so much, you wouldn't feel like this", "You need a new Dr.", "Just get up and get over it". These people are my church family, my husband, my children, my friends, the only people I have in my life that I love and cherish. They don't mean to be harmful, they just don't understand. And they do make me feel like it is my fault sometimes. But I have returned to work right after both c-sections, an appendectomy, an ankle broke in 3 places, 2 broke toes, bouts of bronchitis, gastroentitis, and other ailments. This one I would if I could, but I can't.

So they create a negative atmosphere around you! The following is easier said than done, but you have to shield yourself from those negative influences. When they're around you need an all-out effort to focus on God. I myself have trouble doing that because my tendency is to get angry at negative people. Welcome to Christian Chat.

Meningone, I'll pray for your complete recovery. God bless!

Keeping my focus on God is the easiest part. Before I got sick I found how great it was to keep Him with me all the time. After my morning time alone with Him, I'd spend the rest of the day talking to Him all day. I'd even say, " Ok Jesus, let's go get this laundry done." And I'd picture Him and feel His presence right there with me in every part of my life. But shielding myself from negative people? I don't know how or if I should do that. Like I said, these people are my church family, my blood and married family. And they aren't meaning to be negative. They just truly don't understand. They think like I thought. That meningitis was a bacteria. You get antibiotics, you get better, you return to normal. But it didn't work that way. It took me weeks and weeks of searching to even begin to understand what was wrong with me and I'm still learning. Most Dr.'s don't understand it or acknowledge it. I have no idea how to explain it to them.

God will shut doors no man can open...There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your family , church etc that you will be taking time out from everyone to spend precious time with our Lord...Jesus took Paul away for 3 years to Arabia so Paul came out of that time with our Lord refreshed , and ready to face his trials...
You need healing right now , I mean in your mind , the Holy Spirit will Comfort you , encourage you , strengthen you and renew your mind , this is not a time to be dealing with negativity , just go and rest in our Lord , nice hot drinks , watch animal documentaries , movies that are Christian , and pray in all circumstances , and may the peace of God be with you always...xox...

I agree with you totally. But do you have suggestions that have worked for you or someone you know? As far as physically getting away, that's impossible. Now that I can't work & my husband's work in construction is at a halt due to weather we are struggling really bad financially. we're behind on all our bills. I know we will be ok there though. As far as resting in the Lord, again, since I'm not working and am pretty much always home, I spend the largest part of my time reading scripture, doing specific Bible studies, praying, just talking and sharing everything with Jesus, listening to my favorite Christian music all day, burning my favorite scented candles, reading awesome printed and emailed devotions, I'm not much into TV(never have been), but occasionally watch a good movie, I'm on 2 meningitis survivor forums that help educate, let you rant, give encouragement, and tips on dealing with different types of pain that works for some & not others. I live with my husband LOL, I only see the church family 2 or 3 times a week. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do to "get away"from the negativity, or rest in the Lord anymore than I am. I'm really open to what's worked for others. These people pray with me constantly & mean well. They really just don't get that I'm not the "old me" anymore & likely never will be.

Well I am very sorry for you , but this is a season...It sounds like you are very close to our Lord , but it seems like the people around you are causing the problems , you say they do not know the new you anymore , and hey , that is a good thing is it not ...
My children started to notice the new creation in me when the Lord called me , they missed the old me , and sometimes I would revert to my old ways to please them until I read we must please God and not man , and after that , my children become quiet distant for a while , but then eventually after they realized I was not harking to their ways , they started to become more respectful towards me , all the glory to God...
Jesus said He came to divide and not bring peace , we will be seperated from family , friends etc , and I pray that you will never go back , be strong and firm , steadfast , and speak to all what you believe , not what they want to hear...xox...

Oh, no. I didn't mean the old me as in before I was saved. No worries there. I'll not go back to that life.There is nothing in that old life I would ever want. Oh, the love and joy I have in Christ has surpassed any love and joy I have ever known. He most definately is the utmost 1st love in my life. He comes before my husband, children, mother, anybody or anything. He is my everything! My love for Him is just absolutely indescribable. I want to spread His love everywhere!! He's sooo amazing. My loved ones aren't distant from me. Not even the one's that haven't come to a personal relationship with Him yet. They know my love and relatonship with Him. What i meant was, I was always so physically active, enjoyed the outdoors and nature every chance I got, hardly ever missed a day of work, went to all kinds of plays, concerts, had a blast at all our church social functions, etc. I'm not able to do those things anymore. I'm even get noise and light sensory overload. They keep insisting I join in activities after telling them for 9 months that I can't do those things anymore, they keep asking me out to social dinners after repeatedly saying I can't deal with crowds anymore, they buy tickets to concerts and present them to us after I've already said I'm light and noise sensitive. That's when they say I need a new Dr., or they must not have got all the infection, or have I tried this or that, do I want to be annointed (again), or you don't look sick what's wrong, and You think you hurt now, wait tilyou're my age, and You should be better by now. It's not a matter of them being mean, it's them seeing someone that looks fine on the outside but has constant pain and memory/concentration difficulties on the inside. I don't want to alienate myself. I just don't know how to express myself about this. Keeping quiet keeps them not being able to understand, but then, when I have tried to explain, they don't understand anyway. It's frustrating.

Thank You! There's a purpose in this, I know. I just haven't found it yet & it really gets discouraging sometimes.