Hey Everyone,
It's a given that many of us hope to find a special someone. But, we're also all pressed for time, as well as getting a little (cough, cough) older. Everyone tells us to "wait on the Lord", but then we are also told that God won't drop someone into our lap, so we actually have to get up (gasp!) and start looking!
However... How aggressively are we allowed to be looking?
* Is it ok to write a generic "Hey, I'd like to get to know you" message, and send it out to a hundred possible candidates at one time?
* Is it ok to instant message 10 different people you might be interested in--all at one time? And if you don't have any luck that day, is it ok to instant message another 10 the next day, just waiting for someone to tug on the line?
* If a person IS talking to several possible candidates at once, how do they juggle them all fairly, and how do you start deciding who gets eliminated? How do you narrow it down to one lucky candidate, or is it ok to keep several people "on the line" "just in case" one doesn't work out?
I have to be honest in saying that if I get a feeling or proof that I'm just a number on a hook, my choice will be to bail out immediately. I understand that most people probably feel they don't have the time to approach people one at a time, take the time to get to know them, and then risk having that time "wasted" when things don't work out and they could be getting to know 10 other "maybe's" at the same time, but that seems to be the way it works now days.
Granted, I'm probably the last person anyone would want to look to as an example of how to find someone. I've always stuck to the "old-fashioned" ways of meeting people on forums (strike up a friendship and see where it goes over some time), and that's probably why I'm still single after many long years--but I've made great friends along the way, and I have no regrets.
However, I understand that most people want to find someone as soon as possible (and maybe even get married on their birthday of this year
), but what is the difference between "actively looking"... and simply throwing out line after line or casting a net as wide as possible--or is this the way to go?
Where is the line between doing all we can do, and making people feel as if they're being put on hold--while the other person makes sure there isn't someone better on another line?
I'd really like to hear everyone's thoughts about this, because it's happening all the time.
It's a given that many of us hope to find a special someone. But, we're also all pressed for time, as well as getting a little (cough, cough) older. Everyone tells us to "wait on the Lord", but then we are also told that God won't drop someone into our lap, so we actually have to get up (gasp!) and start looking!
However... How aggressively are we allowed to be looking?
* Is it ok to write a generic "Hey, I'd like to get to know you" message, and send it out to a hundred possible candidates at one time?
* Is it ok to instant message 10 different people you might be interested in--all at one time? And if you don't have any luck that day, is it ok to instant message another 10 the next day, just waiting for someone to tug on the line?
* If a person IS talking to several possible candidates at once, how do they juggle them all fairly, and how do you start deciding who gets eliminated? How do you narrow it down to one lucky candidate, or is it ok to keep several people "on the line" "just in case" one doesn't work out?
I have to be honest in saying that if I get a feeling or proof that I'm just a number on a hook, my choice will be to bail out immediately. I understand that most people probably feel they don't have the time to approach people one at a time, take the time to get to know them, and then risk having that time "wasted" when things don't work out and they could be getting to know 10 other "maybe's" at the same time, but that seems to be the way it works now days.
Granted, I'm probably the last person anyone would want to look to as an example of how to find someone. I've always stuck to the "old-fashioned" ways of meeting people on forums (strike up a friendship and see where it goes over some time), and that's probably why I'm still single after many long years--but I've made great friends along the way, and I have no regrets.
However, I understand that most people want to find someone as soon as possible (and maybe even get married on their birthday of this year
), but what is the difference between "actively looking"... and simply throwing out line after line or casting a net as wide as possible--or is this the way to go?Where is the line between doing all we can do, and making people feel as if they're being put on hold--while the other person makes sure there isn't someone better on another line?
I'd really like to hear everyone's thoughts about this, because it's happening all the time.
-
3
-
3
-
1
- Show all
