How hard is it now days to get married?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Jan 15, 2019
16
29
13
#1
I've read a bunch of articles. People are pointing to trends showing that getting married is getting much more difficult. Would you all say this is more or less true for Christians? What is getting in the way? Is Satan pushing harder on this issue? Is marriage even important anymore? I'd like to know your thoughts.
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#2
Yeah, it's pretty hard. Many people don't bother with it anymore because many people (even some Christians) get all the benefits of marriage without actually getting married. So this makes it even harder for people to desire marriage at all. Why would they if they can sleep around with anybody?

Secondly, those of us who are waiting, can't seem to find decent people to marry. Is it that difficult to find a Christian man, who works, isn't abusive, and is not too old or too young? Yes, yes it is!
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,702
113
Georgia
#3
You gotta wade through the counterfeits until you meet the real thing. I guess... lol I'm still wading .
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#4
It doesn't make much of a difference anymore. Commitment with our without a worldly contract
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#5
Articles... nowadays the news is mostly fake. It's not hard to get married... you can even go to the courthouse and pay $50 lol. Dating is not easy, I'd much rather find someone I can't live without and be faithful. Do it the way God has designed and you'll be blessed.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,894
113
#6
I've read a bunch of articles. People are pointing to trends showing that getting married is getting much more difficult. Would you all say this is more or less true for Christians? What is getting in the way? Is Satan pushing harder on this issue? Is marriage even important anymore? I'd like to know your thoughts.
Marriage is something that’s always going to be challenging for both the husband and wife. There is no perfect marriage, just as there is no perfect walk with Christ when you’re single. But when couples found their relationship and marriage on the values of how Christ would love one (e.g fruits of the spirit), it makes things a lot easier to bare. Marriage is also something of a sacred covenant between the couple and God - the cementing of the couples vows before God and the promise to love eachother unconditionally, just as Christ would love the church unconditionally.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,914
8,167
113
#7
I wouldn't know if marriage is harder these days. I never have tried to get married. =^.^=
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#8
In answer to the OP, I don't know if it's harder to get married, but it sure seems harder for westerners to stay married (or understand why they should). And I imagine that doubts about whether it will last discourages a lot of people from getting married.

But when couples found their relationship and marriage on the values of how Christ would love one (e.g fruits of the spirit), it makes things a lot easier to bare.
This typo / misused homophone made my morning. Thanks for making me laugh. For future reference in the annoying subtleties of English:

to bare - to remove all coverings, clothing, top layers etc.

to bear- to carry or support a load or burden

Though I suppose that both would be easier in a marriage where I felt like I were loved like Christ loves the church.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#9
Have you heard of MGTOW? It's very popular right now. It basically is an anti-marriage movement that's popular among men.

It's sort of a male version of feminism, but where feminism tells women to focus on careers and become powerful and successful, MGTOW tells men not to fall for the one-sided deal of getting married and having kids.

In a nutshell, MGTOW (men going their own way) says the man gets the short end of the stick in a marriage because he has to be the main bread-winner, provider and has to shoulder most of the responsibility, but then loses everything including income and the kids if they divorce.

NOTE - I'm not promoting MGTOW, and I'm not a huge fan of it either.
 
G

Gracie_14

Guest
#10
For some reason...yes, getting married is a bit harder nowadays. My sister is engaged to be married and man it has't been easy of the both of them. It indeed shows how Satan is pushing hard against traditional marriage observing our cultural turmoil.
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
436
678
93
30
South Carolina
#11
Getting married is fairly easy. Apply for the license and pay a few fees. Marrying the one that God has chosen takes discernment. Meeting like minded dating partners is more difficult. Society is pushing away from marriage. I'm all. For the biblical definition of marriage. My opinion is that marriage is crucial for restructuring our society to be faith based instead of more widely. Just my opinion.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,043
13,050
113
58
#12
It's one thing to "get" married and yet another thing to "stay" married. I see way to much divorce in the world today. People these days seem to get married for better or for worse, "until something better comes along," or so they think.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#13
I think the brainwashing provided by the media (chick flicks, sitcoms and porn), mixed with the false personas propagated on social media, combined with the disillusionment that the person you met last week is going to stay physically, emotionally and psychologically stable for the next 20 years, and topped off with the stressors children add to a marriage, I predict it will be more likely to find a unicorn before you find a successful marriage in ten years.
 

HoneyDew

Senior Member
Apr 30, 2011
2,308
352
83
#14
Getting married is easy. Staying marrried is work. I've heard some say that marriage is 50/50. Meh, not always sometimes it's 70/30, 40/60. Life circumstances can change that balance quickly. Many want to get married out of lonliness. One can be married and still be lonely.
 

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#15
So I feel as though a question like this is best approached more from a sociological perspective, and I don't know what the statistics are as far as people in general or Christians specifically are concerned. I do know people are getting married later (late 20's on average I believe), but I don't believe it is actually that difficult to get married. If you think about it, the large majority of people desire to get married at some point in life, and especially if you live in the United States, there are probably hundreds (at least) of people that any given person could be legitimately compatible with. To me the challenges are that as a society we 1) have pushed back "adulthood" several years, 2) become super individualistic, and 3) are so internet and social media-driven that we are losing sight of how to socialize, connect deeply, and be intimate.

Secondly, those of us who are waiting, can't seem to find decent people to marry. Is it that difficult to find a Christian man, who works, isn't abusive, and is not too old or too young? Yes, yes it is!
I strongly believe this is not true overall. I can see how it could be a challenge for people who live in rural areas or places where there aren't a lot of people around, but for anyone who lives in or near a city of at least 10,000 people, opportunities are there. The challenge is mostly in taking advantage of them. For those who don't just happen upon someone that they connect well with, it can take some intentionality in putting yourself out where people are and then being willing to initiate and have conversations. I really believe that the more people you cross paths with in a given week, the higher the likelihood that you will meet someone you are compatible with. It just takes some intentional effort. Of course it's not a silver bullet or a guarantee, but it does strongly increase your chances. I personally know several single guys who are solid believers, hard workers, and are not abusive. Age is something no one can control about themselves so I would be curious as to what exactly your age restrictions are when it comes to potential mates, but if just I alone know several guys personally who fit your description, then I can say for certain that there are tons of guys out there who possess the qualities you mentioned.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#16
It's not hard to get married. The issue is if it is hard to marry a decent person.I admit, it is harder to get married in America then it was years ago, but it is still ridiculously easy if one has low standards or is desperate.
Heck, bringing an immigrant into this country through, you can get married and get paid for it. I never did that, BTW, and never would, in case anyone is wondering, but I know people who have, some more then once.
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
773
327
63
#17
If I can find a woman who is like a best friend that I'm physically attracted to, then I'll know she's the one for me.
Getting married to an individual due to pressure from friends, family or culture s is usually a potential recipe for long-term unhappiness
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#18
you might be physically attracted to her, but she might not be physically attracted to you. Doesnt it have to be mutual?!?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#19
I think God doesnt need any more babies. Seriously. Maybe the spots in heaven are filling up so we dont even need to mulitply anymore.

I mean it doesnt bother me. The earth is pretty polluted as it is, even when I was young Im like what kinda inheritance will my children have, not to mention grandchildren. Thanks for the wasteland and radiation and plastic everyone.
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
773
327
63
#20
I've read a bunch of articles. People are pointing to trends showing that getting married is getting much more difficult. Would you all say this is more or less true for Christians? What is getting in the way? Is Satan pushing harder on this issue? Is marriage even important anymore? I'd like to know your thoughts.
I think this is true for every demographic in the Western world.