Question for the married members:

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Godsgirl83

Guest
#1
#1
What are ways you and your spouse show love/respect for one another that are above and beyond the obvious (work/provision/cooking cleaning/bedroom.......)
So for me, an example is that I dread dishes, not my most favorite chore to do. My husband however, hates to come home and see last nights dishes still in the sink, so I try to get them done before he gets home. Also, I try to make myself available when he's working on his hobbies and ask for my company. This is not always something I enjoy (sitting in the garage for hours while he tinkers) However, it makes him happy to have me by his side.
And from him, well it's little things he does for me that are done with thoughtfulness. I'm not a big fan of eating out to much, I LOVE to be in my kitchen, but some days it's the LAST thing I wanna do and he chimes in "Where would YOU like to eat tonight?"

I want to go a little farther on this topic, but it's late here, and I just wanted to get it started for now. I'd love to hear others stories...........................
 
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Godsgirl83

Guest
#2
#2
........or sometimes it's something as simple as "you like butterflies and I found this butterfly necklace and thought of you" ( I have A LOT of butterfly jewelry now, lol).

So my mans not one to hold hands when we're out, or be all mushy, or flowers or WHATEVER. And the past few years it kinda started getting me down. UNTIL one day the Lord reminded me that he wasn't like that before we got married so why in the world would I expect him to be like that now? And then the Lord started pointing everyday little things out to me that my husband does or says that ARE HIS OWN PERSONAL UNIQUE WAYS of saying "I LOVE YOU!"

Dunno, maybe this subject is just for me.......... or maybe it's meant to pull someone else outta there comfort zone, or open someone else eyes or whatever. Would love to hear others stories.
 
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TheWriter

Guest
#3
#3
Godsgirl83 said:
........or sometimes it's something as simple as "you like butterflies and I found this butterfly necklace and thought of you" ( I have A LOT of butterfly jewelry now, lol).

So my mans not one to hold hands when we're out, or be all mushy, or flowers or WHATEVER. And the past few years it kinda started getting me down. UNTIL one day the Lord reminded me that he wasn't like that before we got married so why in the world would I expect him to be like that now? And then the Lord started pointing everyday little things out to me that my husband does or says that ARE HIS OWN PERSONAL UNIQUE WAYS of saying "I LOVE YOU!"

Dunno, maybe this subject is just for me.......... or maybe it's meant to pull someone else outta there comfort zone, or open someone else eyes or whatever. Would love to hear others stories.
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Im not married, however to expect things such as flowers is a expectation your hubby is not or may not be ready for.

Have you even said to him you would like to get a rose every now and then?

Ask yourself that because too many expectations without spoken word causes love? To die out.
 
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Godsgirl83

Guest
#4
#4
na,,,,, I was never really into that way back when. And it's not his thing. Just something that crossed my mind one day after kids and life and all that kinda married life stuff kinda started clouding things up, it started screwing with my head, which is why the Lord had to point other little things out to me that Hubby does do that have been over looked and taken for granted.
 
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TheWriter

Guest
#5
#5
Godsgirl83 said:
na,,,,, I was never really into that way back when. And it's not his thing. Just something that crossed my mind one day after kids and life and all that kinda married life stuff kinda started clouding things up, it started screwing with my head, which is why the Lord had to point other little things out to me that Hubby does do that have been over looked and taken for granted.
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There ya go 😀

But in ways it is good to feel appreshiated however not everytjing is poems and roses sista.

He loves you, regardless. He has to right? Lol cuz yeah with ur icon lol jp jp im really tryin to make ya laugh.

Anyway, maybe it is time to throw some more spark in the relationship?

Think of something he really wants to do and try to do it without breaking that bank.

I may be wrong but yeah lol
 
Homewardbound

Homewardbound

Well-known member
#6
Dec 10, 2018
1,078
593
113
#6
In recent time, I have been complimenting my wife on how she looks.
I also TELL her how much I appreciate a clean home, and for all of the things she does.
I also am attempting to see, and compliment the little stuff that may go unnoticed.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#7
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#7
Actually, I always do the dishes each day, along with taking out the trash, getting the mail, feeding the cats and changing their litter pans and going grocery shopping. While these chores have to be done I perform them faithfully because of the love that I have for my wife. Of course, I work full-time too to provide the necessary household income. I also try to say something positive to her each day in regards to compliments and for our future together.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#8
Godsgirl83 said:
na,,,,, I was never really into that way back when. And it's not his thing. Just something that crossed my mind one day after kids and life and all that kinda married life stuff kinda started clouding things up, it started screwing with my head, which is why the Lord had to point other little things out to me that Hubby does do that have been over looked and taken for granted.
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Still, it would be nice for your husband to bring home flowers for you, even if just the one time. Candy too, 'cause you're his sweety.
 
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TheWriter

Guest
#9
#9
tourist said:
Actually, I always do the dishes each day, along with taking out the trash, getting the mail, feeding the cats and changing their litter pans and going grocery shopping. While these chores have to be done I perform them faithfully because of the love that I have for my wife. Of course, I work full-time too to provide the necessary household income. I also try to say something positive to her each day in regards to compliments and for our future together.
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Brotha are you saying your that crazy old cat dude? Lol jp
 
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Godsgirl83

Guest
#10
#10
tourist said:
Still, it would be nice for your husband to bring home flowers for you, even if just the one time. Candy too, 'cause you're his sweety.
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actually, he DOES both once in a while. I just got caught up once not to long ago on goofy girly fantasy stuff, lol, (ramance and roses and fairy tales) which opened the door to well, junk, and then realized lifes not a fairy tale...................
 
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TheWriter

Guest
#13
#13
lol trust me sista I was here before as jbrooks5912.

Lol we know each otha
 
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Godsgirl83

Guest
#14
#14
Actually, I think it all really started to come about one day when my kids were reciting songs from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (and for those who don't know, YES! THAT IS FROM MR. ROGER'S) "There's so many ways to say I love you!" and I realized, there's so many ways he says "I love you"

Yeah, stuff like that................
 
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7seasrekeyed

Guest
#15
#15
I'm a detail person. I really like when my husband shows he knows what I do and do not like. it's not science with him, but he tries pretty hard LOL!

my husband is actually more romantic than I am so that's interesting :unsure:

I tend to like little gifts...my dad always did that kind of thing...and he caught on in the beginning. not a diamond and jewelry person here but a new plant or my fav candy or flowers...or even type of bread ... hey it's all good

I love vegetables and so he plants a vegetable garden even though he is picky about them...and won't eat half of what he plants

I make sure to make what he likes to eat even if I have to make 2 different meals...

my husband is forgiving and doesn't hold a grudge and that pretty much keeps a good atmosphere and since I didn't grow up that way, it has changed how I view things about others...

he's not as up tight as he used to be...I tend to be a 'in the moment' kind of person and he is all about writing it down and ticking it off

perfection actually bugs me but no worries here! :LOL:
 
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Godsgirl83

Guest
#16
#16
7seasrekeyed said:
I'm a detail person. I really like when my husband shows he knows what I do and do not like. it's not science with him, but he tries pretty hard LOL!

my husband is actually more romantic than I am so that's interesting :unsure:

I tend to like little gifts...my dad always did that kind of thing...and he caught on in the beginning. not a diamond and jewelry person here but a new plant or my fav candy or flowers...or even type of bread ... hey it's all good

I love vegetables and so he plants a vegetable garden even though he is picky about them...and won't eat half of what he plants

I make sure to make what he likes to eat even if I have to make 2 different meals...

my husband is forgiving and doesn't hold a grudge and that pretty much keeps a good atmosphere and since I didn't grow up that way, it has changed how I view things about others...

he's not as up tight as he used to be...I tend to be a 'in the moment' kind of person and he is all about writing it down and ticking it off

perfection actually bugs me but no worries here! :LOL:
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Thanks for sharing.................... yup I'd like those smileys too!
 
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7seasrekeyed

Guest
#17
#17
Godsgirl83 said:
Thanks for sharing.................... yup I'd like those smileys too!
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to be sure and not to give the wrong impression, we've had our rocky moments...I would think just about all marriages do

my husband can be stubborn but sometimes that works good for getting through a tough time ;)

one more thing and to me this is very very important...you have to let people be who they are. I don't mean harmful things of course or sin, but if someone likes to do something the other doesn't, it really helps to either just leave it or sometimes make an effort

my husband is better at that then I am truthfully...but he had a much larger family :giggle:
 
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Rasputin_OZ

Guest
#20
#20
I am not one for doing the romantic things it just doesn't come natuarly to me. But I show my love by providing for my wife. ensuring she has a roof over her head and food on table. not just any house, but the house of her dreams. the food she likes, he kids get to do the activitys they want to do. to do this I work away from home for 3-4 months at a time and see her for a week then go away again, this is how I show love.

Putitng my needs second. to her .
 
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