trying to find a date? bah humbug

I never really knew what middle age was... I'm sure I'm way past it by now anyhoo. I suppose I'm the "desperate older woman" you're referring to except sans the "desperate" part. Hehe! There’s definitely no shortage of men in pursuit. Not that I'm Marilyn Monroe or anything, cuz I definitely am not. I know it’s because I'm genuinely a happy child of God, bouncing along and saying hello to everyone I meet. I’m humming a tune or singing in the grocery store, smiling at everybody. Being a happy upbeat person attracts people to you.

I've tried Christian dating sites and met a few guys, but I felt we were more suited as friends, ya know? Which we still are. There are men in my area who have asked me out, but their lifestyle and mine don't mesh. And there was a man who recently followed me around the grocery store, smiling & waving to me, until I finally said hello to him. He gave me a brief synopsis of his life, told me the business he was with, and gave me his phone number. But no bells are ringing for me because he didn't say much about the Lord. And a few other things…

At any rate, it would be nice to have a godly companion. But nope, this ol lady isn't desperate enough to settle for just any man. If we can’t complement each other’s lives spiritually, there’s no sense in trying to become a couple. Right?

By the way, if you feel shy and self-conscious in public, you should practice making eye contact with people and saying hello. And smile, smile, smile. Especially if you have your eye on someone special. Jesus made Himself available to folks and they were attracted to His acceptance of them. They could be real with Him. Try breaking out of your shell and speak to strangers like you do to the new people at your church. Everyone appreciates when someone gives them the time of day.

At any rate, it would be nice to have a godly companion. But nope, this ol lady isn't desperate enough to settle for just any man. If we can’t complement each other’s lives spiritually, there’s no sense in trying to become a couple. Right?

AuntieAnt, I hope that we get to talk together again. Thank you for what you shared.

Awwww. your user name should be LetThereBeSweetPeasOnEarth cuz you're so sweet! ***hugs*** to my sister!!!

Jumping off topic for a moment but... not sure that we've met before now so I just wanted to say welcome, gracenjoy! It's really good to have you here as a part of us! ... and I very much appreciate the insights and the encouraging thoughts that you shared. Totally agree! (And, again, welcome to CChat!! )

I never really knew what middle age was... I'm sure I'm way past it by now anyhoo. I suppose I'm the "desperate older woman" you're referring to except sans the "desperate" part. Hehe! There’s definitely no shortage of men in pursuit. Not that I'm Marilyn Monroe or anything, cuz I definitely am not. I know it’s because I'm genuinely a happy child of God, bouncing along and saying hello to everyone I meet. I’m humming a tune or singing in the grocery store, smiling at everybody. Being a happy upbeat person attracts people to you.

I've tried Christian dating sites and met a few guys, but I felt we were more suited as friends, ya know? Which we still are. There are men in my area who have asked me out, but their lifestyle and mine don't mesh. And there was a man who recently followed me around the grocery store, smiling & waving to me, until I finally said hello to him. He gave me a brief synopsis of his life, told me the business he was with, and gave me his phone number. But no bells are ringing for me because he didn't say much about the Lord. And a few other things…

At any rate, it would be nice to have a godly companion. But nope, this ol lady isn't desperate enough to settle for just any man. If we can’t complement each other’s lives spiritually, there’s no sense in trying to become a couple. Right?

By the way, if you feel shy and self-conscious in public, you should practice making eye contact with people and saying hello. And smile, smile, smile. Especially if you have your eye on someone special. Jesus made Himself available to folks and they were attracted to His acceptance of them. They could be real with Him. Try breaking out of your shell and speak to strangers like you do to the new people at your church. Everyone appreciates when someone gives them the time of day.

Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.

Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.

I've had two dates my entire life-one when I was nine. the other when I was 23.[/QUOTE

Oh wait! I forgot my lovely friend Tina! She asked me on a date after I divorced my double ex, and we had three before I moved away from Arkansas. So I've had five.

thanks all for the replies. I'll consider them. That "80% of men are considered unattractive" was an illuminating reveal.

Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.

You mentioned trying to meet girls at:
- Pof.com
- okcupid.com
- match.com
- Christianmingle

I know this is gonna sound REALLY CRAZY, so bear with me...
but...
ummm....
ya know...
mmmm....
just maybe...

you might try meeting girls in person.

...

thanks all for the replies. I'll consider them. That "80% of men are considered unattractive" was an illuminating reveal.

Stop searching. God is a matchmaker

My birthday is next month and I will be edging closer to 30 than 20. Does this mean I will fall into a different men bracket age wise ? I kinda hope so. I like mature and grounded. The age thing doesn't bother me so much. Not yet anyway ! Be happy being with yourself serving God. Trust the rest to fall into place at his will.

Hard to find a date. I've had two since my divorce and one relationship out of that. Not many choices out there.

Tried Pof.com (plenty of fish) and okcupid.com and found one date out of it that lasted one day and that's it. I could tell she wasn't into me right away. I've sent plenty of messages away but no answers and hence have given up.

I was in one relationship with a woman that i met at a prior job who seemed nice at first but I could tell she was, from the fact she was cheated on so much in the past, very suspicious of any female friends I had. Hence, a relationship with her would have been impossible. I would have never cheated on her but she would have never accepted that I was honest because she was taught by past relationships to distrust men (and the fact she said she had no man friends and didn't understand how one could have friends of the opposite sex). But I'm still grateful for the months we had even so.

I think I tried match.com with no luck and Christianmingle too. But there are plenty of women I like, no doubt, but the ones I like are either a) too young, b) too old, c) already taken. I have a young 30-something woman friend who would be great for me but is taken and not in my age group. As I often say, I have loved more women than have loved me.