"You can't make this stuff up!"

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Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#1
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
2,721
113
Georgia
#1
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#2
Apr 22, 2013
13,584
9,104
113
#2
Pipp said:
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
Click to expand...
I HAVE actually done that! Threw stuff down the toilet because I didn't want it to stink up the garbage, only to be left with plunger in hand and double the work!
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#3
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#3
Pipp said:
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing! :cool:
 
M

Miri

Guest
#4
#4
Pipp said:
This thread was birthed from a conversation with a friend about children. Children say and do some of the craziest stuff ... Lol. Sometimes, it's not children, sometimes it's just a crazy situation..... my situation was just ....weird ! Share your stories with me !!! Here's my weirdest "you can't make this stuff up" moment.


Most of you know I work with mentally disabled young ladies... so to set the story up I'll mention that these 2 sister's had been helping their mom clean out the fridge by taking old food to the trash for her. I was folding laundry in the living room, when all the sudden all the water I'd been drinking hit me...hard... so I put the laundry aside and walked into the restroom ...pardon me being rude but I had to pee..really bad.... and I open the toilet lid to notice the toilet is stopped up....with coleslaw... not a small amount either, were talking like a gallon of coleslaw... so I spend the next 5 minutes.. trying not to pee and plunging a toilet full of coleslaw. Not gonna lie...that day made me question if this is really what I wanted to do with my life. You can't make this stuff up........
Click to expand...

Maybe someone needed the roughage.
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#5
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#5
PennEd said:
I HAVE actually done that! Threw stuff down the toilet because I didn't want it to stink up the garbage, only to be left with plunger in hand and double the work!
Click to expand...
Me too! I've learned to put a small amount in at a time.
 
TamLynn

TamLynn

A heart at rest
#6
Nov 27, 2014
985
1,019
93
#6
PennEd said:
I HAVE actually done that! Threw stuff down the toilet because I didn't want it to stink up the garbage, only to be left with plunger in hand and double the work!
Click to expand...
My friends hubby flushed pickles down the toilet. Whole pickles.
Needless to say, within hours the toilet plugged and he had to take it all apart to remove them. :oops:
 
Krumbeard

Krumbeard

Well-known member
#7
Apr 15, 2019
1,139
773
113
#7
Okay, here goes.
After my wife died I called the social security office to make an appointment to get her records changed and to get the kids signed up for survivor benefits. They asked for my SSN over the phone when making the appointment.
Several weeks later I went to the appointment and went back to the desk with woman doing the case. She looks at me and says "There's a problem. "
I said "What do you mean there's a problem? " I had just gotten there.
She says "it says here you're deceased "
I don't why it happened. With all the documentation you need to do anything anymore I was shocked that they did something like that over the phone.
She told me we fill all the paperwork for the kids and then come back after she had me resurrected.
Then because we never changed our status and her name with social security we had to change my wife's name to mine before they could change her to deceased.

Like you said, you can't make this stuff up.
 
1

17Bees

Senior Member
#8
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#8
This is pretty gross, but I was working on a college owned house where one of the deans of the college was moving into. A really bad problem was that a drain from the washroom had broken and the plumber found that raw sewer had emptied into the crawl space and had been doing so for several.....several months. When he looked under the house, a veritable and hideous lake had formed underneath with floating waste and all sorts of absurdities. So, they cut a hole in the washroom floor ..... (this is getting bad) ... and one of the plumbers had to wade in this hellish pool to set up a pump. And so he picks that exact moment by some kind of macabre chance, to have a diabetic insulin loss and weakness. Poor man was too weak to get out of the hole.

Look - I couldn't blame the guy. I would have had the same symptoms and I'm not even diabetic and bear in mind, I knew NOTHING about this problem. I was working on DSL access for the dean and setting an office line to their college office. I was upstairs.

So nobody could lift this poor man out of hole in the floor (and the rest didn't want to) so the man, badly overweight, had to stand in this horrible turd laden cesspool while the dean (who was at the site and saw all the commotion) went to snack bar at the school and got him a candy bar.

So, this dean - a PhD. A holder of several degrees. A polished, trusted and seasoned leader of academics - brings him a Baby Ruth. Of all the candy bars with loads of sugar in it, he picks a Baby Ruth. And I picked the exact time to go downstairs and to my horror, find an overweight guy standing in a hole in the washroom floor in a pool of atrocious dread, eating a baby ruth. You can't make this stuff up.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#9
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#9
17Bees said:
This is pretty gross, but I was working on a college owned house where one of the deans of the college was moving into. A really bad problem was that a drain from the washroom had broken and the plumber found that raw sewer had emptied into the crawl space and had been doing so for several.....several months. When he looked under the house, a veritable and hideous lake had formed underneath with floating waste and all sorts of absurdities. So, they cut a hole in the washroom floor ..... (this is getting bad) ... and one of the plumbers had to wade in this hellish pool to set up a pump. And so he picks that exact moment by some kind of macabre chance, to have a diabetic insulin loss and weakness. Poor man was too weak to get out of the hole.

Look - I couldn't blame the guy. I would have had the same symptoms and I'm not even diabetic and bear in mind, I knew NOTHING about this problem. I was working on DSL access for the dean and setting an office line to their college office. I was upstairs.
So nobody could lift this poor man out of hole in the floor (and the rest didn't want to) so the man, badly overweight, had to stand in this horrible turd laden cesspool while the dean (who was at the site and saw all the commotion) went to snack bar at the school and got him a candy bar.

So, this dean - a PhD. A holder of several degrees. A polished, trusted and seasoned leader of academics - brings him a Baby Ruth. Of all the candy bars with loads of sugar in it, he picks a Baby Ruth. And I picked the exact time to go downstairs and to my horror, find an overweight guy standing in a hole in the washroom floor in a pool of atrocious dread, eating a baby ruth. You can't make this stuff up.
Click to expand...
Bees, you know I'm a huge fan of your posts...

However, I really wish this one would have had a disclaimer.

So much for trying to relax after a delightful dinner by catching up on the forum... :sick:

(It won't stop me from reading anything you share though!) :LOL:

After all, a forum stalker as persistent as I am doesn't give up that easily -- just ask Pipp.
 
1

17Bees

Senior Member
#10
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#10
seoulsearch said:
Bees, you know I'm a huge fan of your posts...

However, I really wish this one would have had a disclaimer.

So much for trying to relax after a delightful dinner by catching up on the forum... :sick:

(It won't stop me from reading anything you share though!) :LOL:

After all, a forum stalker as persistent as I am doesn't give up that easily -- just ask Pipp.
Click to expand...

I said "This is pretty gross" to start with. That's about as good a disclaimer I have. You want me to say "Read on if you prefer the contents of your stomach become visible"??
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#11
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
113
#11
17Bees said:
I said "This is pretty gross" to start with. That's about as good a disclaimer I have. You want me to say "Read on if you prefer the contents of your stomach become visible"??
Click to expand...
Lol... You caught me.

For some reason, my eyes completely skipped over that phrase. I can also usually handle varying levels of "gross", but this week including caring for a family member after surgery, so maybe I'm even more spaced out (and sensitive) than normal.

It was totally my bad, and I apologize. :cry:
 
1

17Bees

Senior Member
#12
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
#12
seoulsearch said:
Lol... You caught me.

For some reason, my eyes completely skipped over that phrase. I can also usually handle varying levels of "gross", but this week including caring for a family member after surgery, so maybe I'm even more spaced out (and sensitive) than normal.

It was totally my bad, and I apologize. :cry:
Click to expand...
awww - no sweats there seoulsearch!! No offense taken! So sorry to hear of your family member and hope and pray they recover well. And for the record -I'm pretty sure I could never get mad at you. Grossed out - maybe ..... laugh till I hurt - certainly, but never mad.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#13
Oct 1, 2013
594
282
63
#13
Well well well...

My top two MOST respected member of CC - none other than seoulsearch and 17Bees - having some friendly exchange;
I mean what are the odds? You can't make this stuff up...
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#14
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
113
#14
Once upon a time my grandmother wanted to make a pan of cornbread but she was out of buttermilk. Instead of going to the store, which was a whole 1.3 miles away, she just used regular milk. Regular milk does not work the same as buttermilk in baking. The cornbread was... sad.

She tried to find it edible, I tried to tolerate it, but we eventually decided to throw it out. Our dog will eat anything, let the dog have it.

The dog sniffed at it, looked at me, then turned and started pawing dirt over it. No I'm not kidding. Grandma is my witness. Grandma was also mortified. That was adding insult to injury!
 
M

Miri

Guest
#15
#15
christian74 said:
Well well well...

My top two MOST respected member of CC - none other than seoulsearch and 17Bees - having some friendly exchange;
I mean what are the odds? You can't make this stuff up...
Click to expand...
Make that 18 bees lol
 
M

Miri

Guest
#16
#16
Funny story about my aunt, a few years back we were having a girlie chat
about deodorant, perfume etc.

Then she said to me “if ever you want to borrow my underarm roll on, you can do.”

Me said “urgh no not after it’s been near your arm pits!”

She looked at me confused and said “but it’s never been near my arm pits what
do you mean.”

Me rather amused. “So how do you put it on them.”

Her. “Well I wash my hands, roll it on my hands then rub my hands under my
arm pits!”

I fell off the settee laughing.

That was the day a lady in her 70s learnt how to apply under arm ROLL ON!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
113
#18
Once upon a time at a small diner there was a small, middle-aged guy eating an omelette and drinking coffee. Three biker guys pulled up and came in. They weren't the cool, laid-back biker dude type, they were the "I've got a chip on my shoulder and something to prove" kind. They saw the small guy sitting alone and started picking on him. One guy took the small guy's coffee and drank it. Another took the omelette and scarfed it. The third guy took his hat.

The small guy didn't say anything. He just quietly got up, paid for his breakfast and left. One of the biker guys snickered and said to the waitress, "He ain't much of a man, eh?"

The waitress looked out the window and said, "He ain't much of a driver either. He just backed his semi over three motorcycles."
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#19
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#19
Miri said:
Funny story about my aunt, a few years back we were having a girlie chat
about deodorant, perfume etc.

Then she said to me “if ever you want to borrow my underarm roll on, you can do.”

Me said “urgh no not after it’s been near your arm pits!”

She looked at me confused and said “but it’s never been near my arm pits what
do you mean.”

Me rather amused. “So how do you put it on them.”

Her. “Well I wash my hands, roll it on my hands then rub my hands under my
arm pits!”

I fell off the settee laughing.

That was the day a lady in her 70s learnt how to apply under arm ROLL ON!
Click to expand...
I have a cousin who did'nt care if the roll on has been in my armpits and was more than happy when I let her have it. Lol!
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#20
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#20
After reading this thread I feel like throwing up. Ok, I made that up. Lol


Has anyone ever throwed up right after eating something? I ate fish. I was ok when I was eating it at first, maybe because I was so hungry. I did'nt mind that it has a slight fishy taste because it was cooked with very little vinegar added to it. When I was halfway eating, suddenly I felt like throwing up and then I did eventually. I will not survive in desperate times because of a weak stomach.
 
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