Which is more important?

I was attending a training and this was one of the questions we had to answer.

There are many things that make relationships work, but in your mind, which is the most important? Why is it the most important?

Feel free to share/give examples of successful/unsuccessful relationships that had or lacked these qualities.


"Relationships"= Any type of relationship

I said communication. Because people that can communicate well together often also have respect, support and trust. Healthy communication is a sign of a solid foundation of numerous other important elements, as well as helps keep things healthy.
Communication not only means talking, but listening and hearing as well.

Tough to choose, but I suppose respect. But how can you have any of these without the other?

I am loving this question because I am sitting here trying to derive a conclusion still.

Was there an answer and a why in your training?

Some of those - mostly respect and communication - depend on and are dependent on each other. If you respect a person you will take time to communicate, and if you actually listen to what a person is saying you can understand and respect the person. And if you have those two, you can build trust.

In fact you can have a relationship without flexibility or adaptability, if there is a good reason for the lack, and if you understand the reason. Understanding requires communication and respect though.

All of the above, or at least all of the top half of the list. Beyond that it seems that though it may be a nice exercise for a workshop, asking which ingredient is the most important for a relationship is kind of like asking which ingredient is most important for a cake (or shortbread cookies or just about any other baked good), without all the necessary ingredients it just isn't going to work.

It reminds me of Matthew 22:36-40. On those two commandments depend all the law. If you love God and love your neighbor, you will fulfill the law. And if you love somebody in a relationship you will have respect and take the time to communicate with and support your partner and you can build trust... and you might even try to learn to be flexible and adaptable.

I chose respect, because if you respect one a other you'll communicate, and trust and adapt.... at least in my eyes.

I agree. You can't have trust without respect. You can't have adaptability without flexibility.

I believe the most important thing is love. That's what Jesus said in Matthew 22:36-39.

It was pretty much to get everyone talking about the topic and goodness did people have strong opinions. The room seemed split mostly on communication and trust. In the end, their point was that you actually need them all. I'm not sure they anticipated how strong people's opinions were going to be towards their answers.


Personally, my initial reaction is that relationships have to start somewhere and for me, communication seems like the first/most important step. If you have open communication, then you can build respect and trust through time.

Gm love_,

I would have loved to have been there. How fascinating. How fun it is to pick the minds of others, especially on something as important as what is at the core of our values they hold, and how they are applied. I mean, it has the potential to strengthen and build the hearers relationships and connections with everyone?

It sounds like it might have gotten a little heated though.

I hope there was popcorn, lol.

Hope your day is a blessing.

That's exactly why I chose communication as well. It's like a package of all the others.

In other words, Cinder wins.

My relationship with the Lord is 100% based on trust. Everything else falls right into place because He proves I can trust Him.

I'd say that goes for all my other relationships, too. Family & friends. Trust is extremely important to me.

I consider the survey flawed because it only allowed me to vote for two options.

/Rant off.

I would have chosen 'Communication' in addition to "Respect' and 'Trust'. The only reason I chose the first two instead of either and Communication is that arguing and yelling are, technically, communication. Been there. No thanks.

Respect and trust engender good communication. If I respect and trust you, I will value what you have to say, and will be open with you. Where either is missing, I won't value what you say or I won't be open with you.

I could get into a whole sermon on the subject, but I'll spare y'all.

Good points

We're not stopping you, you can give a sermon.

IMHO Respect is the critically dependent element that serves as the foundation for:
- mutually respectful communication
- consistently treating people with respect codifies ones credibility, loyalty and ultimate trust...
- being genuinely respectful for the people you are close to - suggests your willingness to support them is an inherent bi-product
- respectfulness also enables flexible and adaptable behavior; which are also indicators of support...

Treating people with kindness is a fundamental form of Respect...
Where kindness begets kindness... every act of kindness creates a ripple with no end... ie kindness is the foundation in any relationship.

I do see the conundrum given our need to TRUST in our Lord and our Faith...
However, being the type of person that tends to be very trusting of others - I always want to believe that there is good in everyone - I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt...
We want and should trust people - until they show signs of disrespect - that ultimately serves to jeopardize our trust in them.

Love this! I can definitely see how respect would bring out about the other traits. You put it very nicely.

Love is most important.
And Scripture supports this.