Suicide:

1Cor.3:16/17-Know ye not that ye are the temple of God and the Spirit of God dewlleth in you.
1Cor.6:19/20 What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost in you,which ye have of God,and ye are not your own?

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

Forgiveness seems to play a big part in our healing. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others, than it is ourselves.

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

We have one of the highest suicide rates for youth in nz.

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

September 21, 2016 - A day I will never forget. A day that was etched in my memory to this day and a memory I wish I did not have in my life.

I was at work, trying to get the computer charger I left from my Aunt's house because I had an assignment due this day and my laptop was about to die. She texted me yesterday, saying she left it at my parent's for me to pick up. I didn't respond to her text.

When I got home, I was able to get the charger and grabbed my laptop to submit the assignment.

I thought about my Aunt again, for some reason. Didn't think of anything particular, but just thought about her. I was going to text her, and then became preoccupied with Facebook and didn't text.

It was a really good day for me. I accomplished everything. I cleaned my place, cooked dinner, and settled into bed.

But, I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake and it was about 10pm. I was surprised as to why I wasn't tired, because I usually go to bed around 8:30 on weekdays.

I remembered right then to reach out to my Aunt to thank her for the charger. I had seen her two days prior, even though she was acting kind of weird with us. Very distant, very quiet.

I grabbed my phone to text her, but my phone lit up with a caller ID.

It was my Mom.

"Why is Mom calling this late? This is unusual for her," I thought.

Then, I got a sinking feeling. Something must be off.

I answered, "Hello?"

"Katie?" my Mom said, in a quiet, but timid voice.

"Yes, Mom. You know this is me," I said, laughing.

Quiet on the other end.

"Why are you up? This is pretty late for you," I said.

"How's your day?" my Mom said.

"Cut to the chase, Mom. You're scaring me and I don't think you're calling to see how my day was,"

All of a sudden, I hear her crying.

"Honey," she said through tears, "I don't know how to tell you this - but Aunt Nancy killed herself today."

I screamed. I started crying. I was just about to text her, I had my phone LITERAlLY in my hand to reach out to her. I don't remember much after that. I remembered staying up all night, talking to my uncle on the phone since he found her hanging in their new house. I remember calling my boyfriend at that time that night, trying to get a hold of him.

To this day, I'm finally processing things. I'm in therapy, trying to come to terms with her note (it was one sentence and written in 3rd person and very eery), trying to come to terms with her being gone.

I did text her. I texted her a week later after her death. To have that closure. I forgave myself of not texting her the day I thought of her, the day she killed herself.

I am saddened by this loss in my life. I am saddened that she thought people didn't care. I went through a lot of anger and I went through a lot of sadness to get to this place today. <3

Are you still struggling with this sister?

If so how so?

It may help us to direct our prayers for you.

I am so very sorry! I am glad you reached out for help in your own healing! When I last saw my son he was lying on the couch petting his dog.........there is soooooo much I wish I had said to him. The next morning ,he was gone,he died in His sleep. I know it's not the same as someone taking their own life,but death is death........And the guilt of I wish I had have done are the same. I pray this thread will help us all come to some comfort in our losses and encourage those who are thinking it's not worth it to change their minds!

This is such a sad and shocking story. The shock of unthinkable suicide brings an experience to loved ones that is undefinable. It's like the seven stages of grief hits you all at once. No - I take that back. It's more like the first six. Not the seventh - acceptance. That one you're cheated of. Forever.

My experience was with a phone call too. The memory that plays in half speed over and over again. You even recounted the timidity in your mother's voice as I recall the strain in my friend's voice. The nuances, the moth on the wall, the schism in your heart, you remember it all.

Here's the bottom line for me. It wasn't me making that choice. It was an entirely different being with a whole different set of parameters with unfathomable perspectives making suicide the only choice they had. Could you have texted your Aunt and saved her? Could I have told my friend I thought of him as a pure artist? Had we or someone like us saved them the day before?

What do you mean? Lol. I'm not suicidal, if that's what you are asking.

You are right: Death is death and there is sometimes that guilty feeling people experience when dealing with the loss of someone. I am very sorry to hear about your son <3