~Chuckle for the Day~

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tanakh

Senior Member
Dec 1, 2015
4,635
1,041
113
77
I call my wife treasure because she looks like something dug up

My Mother in Law hates me. She said that She would dance on my grave
Its OK by me I'm going to be buried at Sea

Jokes by Les Dawson
 

tanakh

Senior Member
Dec 1, 2015
4,635
1,041
113
77
I feel sorry for Les' wife. :(









_____________




Les Dawson was famous for his Mother in law Jokes. I understand that his Wife found them as funny as his audiences. Les died in
1993. Here is another one .........

My wife asked me if her Mother could come down for Easter. I said yes. After all she had been on the roof since Christmas.
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
I love laughter! My given name means" laughing waters " in Native American! Thanks for all the chuckles!
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
9,153
4,735
113
A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”


facepalm-monkey - Copy.jpg 61988.gif





 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,516
113
Anaheim, Cali.
A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”


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I had to read the 3rd & 4th line twice before I finish it. I'm glad I didn't have any food in my mouth. :LOL::ROFL::ROFL:
 

Shekinahglory

Active member
Aug 29, 2019
157
62
28
What happens if you don’t pay your exorcist?
you get repossessed


hope I didn’t repeat checked could not find another
 

Shekinahglory

Active member
Aug 29, 2019
157
62
28
George W. Bush was having a rough go of it over in the Middle East and the Lord sent the Angel Gabriel along with Moses to councel him in desert warfare. W asks Moses what is the best way to fight in all this sand? And Moses was silent. Bush asked Moses if there were any bodies of water he could use like the Red Sea? Moses remained silent. Finally Bush asked Moses if there were any clues he could give him so he could win like Moses won. Moses remained silent. Gabriel was shocked and as he gathered Moses up to return to heaven he asked Moses "Why did you remain silent and not answer the questions you were asked." Moses looked at Bush and said "Are you kidding me? Last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness. I wasn't taking that chance again."