Ladies, What Kind of Hairstyles Do You Like on Guys?

I think that a lot of men struggle with modesty too actually. It's a big issue for both genders.

Modesty is not a trait for men, but plainness is (within the context of appearance). And again both are profoundly beautiful.

I agree with you, sister.

Can you describe some immodest things you see men doing or wearing?

It's amusing that (some) women think they are being attacked when told that it's probably not in their best interest or the interest of everyone else to dress like wh*res or in a sexually attractive way and instead focus on being modest in appearance, which good Christian men prefer anyway. My position is literally a paternal one born from love. I want women to be their best and the same for men. We are made in God's image, not Vanity Fair's.

I guess it goes all the way back to Eve.

Modesty is most definitely an issue for both men and women.

I realize that as men you most likely have not experienced anything like this (at least I would hope not), but it's quite an experience being a female on even Christian dating sites.

You'd be surprised how many Christian men offer to send you "pictures" -- as in, they want to send you suggestive or nude pictures OF THEMSELVES -- and/or want to engage in some kind of racy conversation right out of the gate. A lot of men will brag to you straight up about what they think they can do for you... Um. In various situations. I wouldn't call this modesty, but maybe that's just me.

Immodesty is a temptation for both genders, perhaps in different ways.

I personally believe modesty encompasses a much wider range than the way someone dresses -- it also crosses over into the way people talk, flirt, act, and react.

Modestly is something that both men and women need to guard, most especially in the digital age where temptations abound.

That's interesting, since as far as we know, Eve was stark naked prior to the fall, and afterward, was still just clothed in the barest of coverings. Having worked directly with Sex Offenders for nearly a quarter of a century, I can tell you the issue of modesty and lust is far more in the mind of the man and his desire to see something than how many square inches of skin a woman either does, or doesn't, cover with a drab dress.

I wonder if men who are unaware of instances in which men are immodest come to these conclusions simply because they don't have the experiences women have, and/or haven't talked to many women about their experiences with men.

Now of course, this is against the rules so I am NOT telling anyone to try this, but I would almost guarantee that if the men who think modesty isn't an issue for men were to pose as a woman in the chatroom here for just one week, they would experience a whole host of immodest behavior, all from men who said they were Christians.

I am certainly NOT saying all guys are like this in any way. In fact, having to deal with such behavior makes me appreciate a guy with solid morals all the more.

An example of forum behavioral immodesty, please?

I've had several female friends here who are married/attached, but men try to talk to them anyway.

And an almost sure sign is when someone approaches you in chat to ask if you have whatever social media site they're trying to lure you to instead of just talking through the CC chat.

If the person hasn't taken any time at all to get to know you, or even bothered to check your profile (in which it might clearly say the user is married), you can almost bet that if you follow that person to another site, they are going to try to engage you in some pretty immodest talk/exchange of images.

And it's certainly not just on CC.

I'm guessing anyone with a decent amount of time and experience online has encountered this.

Thank you.

I’m having a disconnect of what you are saying “Christian men” are doing in relation to modesty. Those people are acting grimy. Lol

I am referring to a righteous man and what would be considered immodest for him? Are we talking a v neck (showing upper pecs), short sleeves that show bicep development, or short shorts showing them calve gains? Lol

It sounds like you don't know any Christian men who are dressing or behaving in an immodest way, and therefore have no experience with it.

That's awesome, you are very blessed. It also seems that with men, the problem might be more with modest behavior rather than modest dress.

I think most men know or assume whether or not they have a showcase body. The ones who don't usually cover up, and the ones who do, well, maybe they might have to make the decision not to flaunt themselves. I had an ex who was always at the gym but he just wore plain t-shirts, though he would have looked good in shirts that showed off his muscle tone.

I'm not sure if men realize how hard shopping can be when you're a woman, either. The fallout from stars like Kim Kardashian is that everything in the stores is cut to show and flaunt.

Most women can't afford tailor-made clothes, but that's about what it comes down to. I have been trying to find shorts to wear to the gym for ages, and check every store I go into. But it seems there are only two choices -- yoga pants, which are long, but super tight, and "shorts" that are short enough to pretty much moon the entire gym.

I personally don't like either one, so I've been meaning to try to make some myself. But that takes time and an interest in sewing that many might not have.

Men probably don't have much problem finding modest clothes, but for women... Well, maybe Alby's picture of old-time Amish style is about all we would have to choose from.

Sure thing!
I feel uncomfortable when men walk around without a shirt. I don't think that either gender should wear short shorts either. I understand that can be difficult if the person is tall. You can usually tell if the person does it on purpose or just doesn't have much options.
It's not uncommon for me to see a man's butt crack because his pants are too low. You would think this is just a younger man's issue...but that's not always the case.

Also, just like Seoul says, modesty is not just about clothes but about the way you act, talk and think. Many men struggle with that too. I'm not saying women don't struggle with modesty. I see women, I go to the beach sometimes. I have a younger brother that I understand a man's perspective. It is crazy and I feel for you men of God. I really do. But I just find it a little annoying when men think modesty is only an issue for women.

SS,
I happen to like you (one of only a handful I can say that about) So, I hope you know this 74 year-old man isn't hitting on you.

BUT...… If anyone here (male or female) chooses to go to your own profile, (It is VERY interesting.) I think you know the impression they would come away with. Your avatar statement further reinforces that.

Would I be a Sleaze for sensing "encouragement" after reading those things that you have written for all of us to read?

It is vain and immodest to post pictures of those woman as examples of beautiful ladies.

Also, you used the word we when talking about what Amish do. If you are Amish, what in the world are you doing on an internet forum?

That's the problem with playing the part of a Pharisee. There is always something somebody else can find fault with the Pharisee over.

Interesting point, Ghoti.

I honestly never even thought about what I had written as being suggestive.

For any of you who haven't read my profile (which I will probably change), I invite people to leave a message and say that I'm just an ordinary girl who asks the things most people think about but are too afraid to ask.

Here is my perspective when I wrote it:

I've been on CC for a while, and I come and go as my life waxes and wanes, which is why I say, "Feel free to leave a message." There are some people I've lost touch with here and I wanted to encourage them to leave me a way to contact them if they wanted.

Now, the part about being an ordinary girl (which I am) who thinks about the things others probably think about but are too afraid to ask -- I've written several threads here with varying themes that people found to be controversial, because I'm often questioning the cookie-cutter answers I was given in church. Because of that, many people have written me and said, "I've always wondered that too, I just never wanted to risk asking."

However, I can see where someone might take it the wrong way.

I'm going to erase what I have there until I can think of a better description.

Personally, I think your profile comments are fine. But if you are going to tell others not to get cutesy in their profiles, then you have sort of roped yourself into the unpleasant situation of (figuratively) having to dress as an Amish online.

Hmm.

Well, anyone familiar with the threads I've written over the years knows that's not going to happen (as in, I'm never going to go Amish in any kind of way.)

When I said I ask questions others think about but are afraid to ask, I like to take on topics others might not like to start, but yet are wanting to talk about.

For instance, a topic I've written about in the past is that statistics show that large percentages of both boys and girls have suffered some kind of sexual abuse -- how is this going to affect their marriage, and how as Christians can we heal and prepare for successful marriages?

All I can do, and all I have ever done, is be me, which is something that can be accepted or not -- which is fine either way -- I'm not too worried about it.

This single comment reminds me why i've come to love CC.

........... "Satan wants our women "sexy" I want them "modest" .........