Is anybody listening to me?

That's cool of you to say butterfly.

Ok, now I'm too curious not to ask.

Why, exactly, should she somehow change her beliefs or what she posts in order to cater to what you would choose to read?

I can't help but ask because I know you've nitpicked several of my threads as well, even tossing in that I was supposedly one of the few people on the site you like.

Thanks, I'm flattered, but what is it about you that makes you establish yourself as someone who is apparently so important and so valuable that it's somehow of utmost importance that you should like someone and want to read what they write? And if not, then they should automatically want to change to your liking? What makes you above most others? Especially within a relatively short time within the community... Though I'm fairly sure you're an old-timer.

I was just wondering why you feel that people should change themselves in order to meet your apparent standards? What makes them better?

I've had tons of people tell me they don't like me, what I say, or how I say it over the years... Lol. But any change that's taken place was just in a normal way in which people change over the years, not to mold myself to be more appealing to someone on an anonymous website.

Why would you expect other people to do this for you?

I honestly and truly would like to know.

Go read that thread I referenced. That thread showed me that this was not someone I would be too interested in "following." Is there anything wrong with that?
I said nothing about it. Not one word. But, along comes this thread started, asking if anyone was listening to the OP. I simply said, "No", I wasn't, and explained why.... further asking if there might now be something different that would help me change my mind. Post #38 indicates that the OP's posts are still pretty much the same.

Thanks for taking the time to explain (and yes, I had read the thread you referenced when she first posted it, hence piquing my curiosity towards this current exchange.)

You're welcome. And please don't think disagreeing with some of your posts is "nitpicking."

Thank you again for explaining.

I certainly don't see every disagreement as nitpicking, but since it was constant I figured you just really, really didn't like anything I was saying! Lol.

Thanks again for your time.

Now, how about you returning the favor, and post the link to whatever thread it is that you think I was so wrong in.
(Thanking you in advance)

Most certainly.

It's not that I thought you were in egregious error, it's just that I wasn't sure why you were saying that I was telling people not to be "cutesy" in their profiles (I might have missed it but I didn't see a post of mine in which I said this to anyone, and at the time, didn't feel it was a big enough deal to make a fuss at you about.) I was also discouraged that you said a man might see my profile message as a possible sexual invitation.

To be honest, it made sad to wonder what a man was exposed to (and what conversations he'd had that DID go that way for him to think that) in order to interpret my words in that way. I guess I'm strange in that I had a whole different interpretation in my head when I wrote it.

And it made me wonder how many other times you might try to say that something I write is sexually suggestive?

But that's your opinion (and for anyone trying to jump to read my profile, I erased it due to Ghoti's feedback but openly posted what it had said in my post) and you certainly have a right to it. I'm not sure how to "neuter" some of the things I say because if I try, it will lose the meaning of what I'm trying to express.

I think I included the conversation here, but I may have missed a few posts. At any rate, it's in the Guy's Hairstyles thread in Singles.

P.S. My apologies to the OP for derailing your thread...

But as you could tell, I WAS listening, and thank you for allowing me to join in.

I think you said it all when you said you agreed that you see how someone could take it differently than you felt when you wrote it. So, isn't it wise to revamp it a taste, if you, yourself. say you could see it being misconstrued?

I could see it misconstrued by those who are looking for, or who have experience with, that sort of thing, but not by everyone.

Whether or not I should change what I wrote in order to work around those who think that way, I haven't decided yet, so for now, I've left it blank.

I could be wrong, but I see it as a matter of bowing to political correctness, and I tend to do that on a case-by-case basis.

Still debating on whether or not this is such a case.

I think Christians dont need to be 'politically correct' certainly Jesus was not but he was prepared that people wouldnt like him for saying the truth.

I think when you first start out on this walk its really not easy to have people dispprove and not like you for telling the truth or just following God, or not even listen but you soon learn not everyone is receptive.

I think people dont need to change who they are, just their approach note that Paul would say to jews he would relate to them as jews, and gentiles he would be as gentiles but thats just in terms of finding a common ground. for example you would not talk to children in exactly the same way as adults because it would go right over their head.

sometimes that is the way with random people online though because you dont know who is going to read your posts, they can be people from all over the world not just one country that reads in english. so you cannnot assume that everyone is from say, america. why should anyone change where they are from to accomodate some people who live somewhere else? its important to represent who are you are as God has appointed the times and places where you were born anyway.

God could have chose someone who was ALREADY living in Canaan to be the father of all his descendants to bless them, but No he chose Abraham. sometimes you wonder why out of all the people on earth but most probably it was because Abraham was the only one who was going to LISTEN to God.

Great topic!

The thing about people listening to one another is that it is entirely a choice. We choose what we want to listen to, which means it’s inevitable that there will be people that don’t listen to us for endless amounts of reasons. I wouldn’t take that personally.

I’m not sure I actually have an answer, but I do have some thoughts regarding listening in general:


People are more apt to listen to others that they respect. I see this everyday in teaching. I can talk and talk and talk, but if I don’t have a relationship with my students, they have no reason to listen.

Sure, there are natural born listeners, people who listen to everyone, but that is not a quality everyone possesses.

In the world that we live in, people want to be heard, they talk and talk A LOT. Some people don’t even care if others are listening, while others demand they be heard.

For me personally, if I don’t feel like someone is listening to me, it’s often my own fault. What I mean by this is that I do not share as often as I should and then want others (those around me) to understand where I am coming from.

Biblically- If we felt lead to speak, we need to trust that the Lord will plant seeds where He wants them planted. It is God working through us.

Every time I see this thread I think of a Ginny Owens song...

This is your life, and yet somehow
They decide what you're about
You learn your lines and take your cues
But who are you listening to?

You change your clothes and how you speak
You place your hope in what they think
Before you know, there's no more you
Who are you listening to

Have you noticed how much you fear
All the voices you choose to hear?

Who are you listening to?
Who tells you what to do?
Who rules your thoughts at night?
Whose rules define your life?
Oh, you know it's up to you
So, who are you listening to?

Nothing else truly matters but Jesus.

Thanks. Those comments were a good Saturday morning chuckle.

"We don't have to word things in any certain way." and "We don't have to be PC."

But let some poor unsuspecting Newbe come on this, or any Christian forum, and say something they think is ok, but that is "unacceptable" to the local "Judgement Squad", and they will get their heads torn off and that will be followed by a flood of "REPORTS" about how "unchristian" they are.

I think Jesus told us more than once to try and keep a lid on how we talk.

You already know, SS, the element of society I have worked with for years, and I really thought I was being quite reasonable in the way I explained how that many things we say can misrepresent us to others. I guess it is just better not to say anything.

Thank you again for your time and patience to explain your points of view.

I greatly appreciate it.

I'm sure we won't agree on everything (and that's ok! 🙂), but I appreciate that you would put the effort into talking things out.

To paraphrase the title of this thread, we might have differing views, but I am still listening. 🙂

Edit: just saw your last post and no, I would rather thst you did say something and explain it rather than let me only see something from my own point of view.

And, you were kind enough to hear me out, which for me, makes all the difference.

This isn't the BDF, which is where a comment like this could be discussed freely, so I'll keep my response brief.

Nothing in Scripture suggests that God chose Abram because he had any special quality. Claiming such is basically saying that you have to merit God's attention in order for Him to choose you.

Having taught REBT for decades, I know, all too well, the consequences of being unaware of not only our own perceptions of things, but also of the perception that others might come up with.