Your Reason For Not Attending Church

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K

Kim82

Guest
#1
#1
I was watching a woman on YouTube recently who was announcing that she would no longer be attending church because she isn't pleased with certain things that were taking place in them.

In reading through the comments, I came across one that I found really interesting.

"Church: the only place in the world where people leave because of hurt.

Work: the only place in the world where people stay no matter what hurts they go through"

For those who have stopped going to church, I would like to hear your views on this along with scripture reference that supports your decision for not going.

If one church is not operating according to God's standard, wouldn't it make sense to find another church to attend rather than giving up on going altogether?
 
Going_Nowhere

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
#2
Nov 10, 2019
1,726
938
113
#2
I wouldn't want to go to church. And the reason being that I'm extremely anti-social and I don't like being around people....even for a short time. But at least I'm honest about it, right?
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#5
#5
Magenta said:
That's not true, though, is it?
Click to expand...
No and no.

But it could easily be the case for me. That is why I found the comment interesting.

I sometimes may not attend church or show up late. But you won't catch me doing such a thing as it relates to work or events associated with work.

This surely does not apply to everyone, but for some it does.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#6
#6
Going_Nowhere said:
I wouldn't want to go to church. And the reason being that I'm extremely anti-social and I don't like being around people....even for a short time. But at least I'm honest about it, right?
Click to expand...
I love your honesty. And being an introvert, I understand what you're saying. I usually don't stick around to greet as much people as I can, I tend to leave soon after service ends.

You have to pray and trust in God for help and push yourself a bit. That's how it goes. You push yourself, and little by little, it may take years but you'll make progress.

But if you only keep telling yourself, "I can't, I can't," then you will be stuck like that for years to come. Think on that carefully.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#7
#7
I like going to church but initially I did not like the idea of being a member of a church (since we are all part of the universal church). But, I understand now why churches need members. Yes, I have been hurt by church, which I described in my first post. I did research on the different church denominations at that time, but I decided to stay at my church since I've been there for about six to seven years. I also realized plenty of other people at my church stayed even though they may not agree with the pastor/church administration on a particular topic or may have different view on a doctrine. I have accepted that people do not have to see eye to eye on everything.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#8
#8
ive got 6 churches I attend on a rotation basis. it helps me with motivation.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#9
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#9
I dont know about the OP but yes Ive been a bit burned by certain churches, it does comes down to church politics.

I do go find other churches to fellowship in though.
I didnt go to church today as Im a bit exhausted. I did go on Christmas day which was just on Wednesday. I think if I lived closer to church I might go more often. I think some pastors might not realise this because many just live in manses right next door, but it does take a bit of effort for most people to even get to church. Theres no special church bus, although you could always ring someone and ask them to visit you I suppose.

I think with work though the second comment isnt true in my experience. I have quit a lot of jobs where the employers have been abusive and there has been no effort on their part to reconcile or work through diffculties. I think being faithful doesnt necessarily mean you have to stay with anyone who abuses you. when you sign a contract, in good faith, the employer also has to be treat you with respect as well, and be good to their word.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#10
Oct 13, 2014
6,889
1,958
113
Germany
#10
I stopped going and found my church after quite a while. But even there ive started to become more careful because if their nosiness and judgementalness.
 
D

DesertWanderer

Active member
#11
Nov 17, 2019
366
201
43
61
New Mexico, USA
#11
This is a very broad topic. I am sure this is not the only time it will be brought up.

I believe one of the reasons for the mass exodus of church-goers is that our society is transitioning out of the old, tired, institutional business models. Our large department stores, like Sears, are closing. Our large book publishers are falling prey to self-publishing. Even our work environment is changing from institutional employment to freelancing at home. It's no wonder younger people are opting for online worship. The'yre just riding the wave of change with the rest of us.

However, I think there is a deeper underlying issue at work here. Because of the recent social isolation brought about by technology, we are in need of close relationships like never before. Unfortunately, because of the current church model, we are unable to connect with other members. That current model looks something like this:

1. We get up early in the morning, typically on Sunday
2. We take about an hour to look at least presentable
3. We drive 10-20 minutes in the car to get to the church
4. We wave politely to our friends we saw last week
5. We sing a few songs
6. We listen to one man preach for an hour.
7. We say goodbye to our friends on the way out
8. We go home
(Repeat next week)

"Church" has become just another event we schedule into our busy week. There's no fellowship. There's no community. Sharing our burdens with each other is completely out of the question. After all, we have "prayer requests" for that! The fact that the typical church administration is so adamant about keeping the flock away from the pastor, it's no wonder everyone is staying at home. Why give up ten percent of your income to support a church that won't bother discipling any of its members? You may as well stay in your pajamas on Sunday. "I can be ignored just fine sitting at home! I don't need to go to church to do that. "

Fortunately, there are many Christ-followers who sincerely want to go back to the vision Jesus had for his church-- a vision of service to those in need; a vision of true evangelism; and above all, a worshipful surrender to our heavenly Father. I think it will happen soon. There is a revolution in the air, and it's led by the Holy Spirit. There's going to be a great revival of the saints. Very soon we will be going back to fellowshipping like we were meant to do. In the interim, we must work together, in spite of a tired, worn-out church model, to find a way to fellowship again.

I yield back the rest of my time... God bless. :)
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#12
#12
morefaithrequired said:
ive got 6 churches I attend on a rotation basis. it helps me with motivation.
Click to expand...
I would love to do this also. This seems like a great idea.

I was invited to a seventh day church, and I'm thinking of going. Not that I believe in the Sabbath. But the SDA has opened my eyes to many things that I never hear taught at my church.

I have read their pamphlets as well as their services on TV.
 
M

Mammagoose

New member
#13
Dec 17, 2019
7
2
3
#13
I don't go because my autistic kid can't handle it and nobody cares. We've tried every church around and nobody cares. Sure I can drag him screaming into service but I spend my whole time trying to keep him under control and don't hear a thing. We usually watch the sermon on YouTube later. I dream of being able to go but we feel so unwelcome its just miserable.
 
M

Mammagoose

New member
#14
Dec 17, 2019
7
2
3
#14
DesertWanderer said:
This is a very broad topic. I am sure this is not the only time it will be brought up.

I believe one of the reasons for the mass exodus of church-goers is that our society is transitioning out of the old, tired, institutional business models. Our large department stores, like Sears, are closing. Our large book publishers are falling prey to self-publishing. Even our work environment is changing from institutional employment to freelancing at home. It's no wonder younger people are opting for online worship. The'yre just riding the wave of change with the rest of us.

However, I think there is a deeper underlying issue at work here. Because of the recent social isolation brought about by technology, we are in need of close relationships like never before. Unfortunately, because of the current church model, we are unable to connect with other members. That current model looks something like this:

1. We get up early in the morning, typically on Sunday
2. We take about an hour to look at least presentable
3. We drive 10-20 minutes in the car to get to the church
4. We wave politely to our friends we saw last week
5. We sing a few songs
6. We listen to one man preach for an hour.
7. We say goodbye to our friends on the way out
8. We go home
(Repeat next week)

"Church" has become just another event we schedule into our busy week. There's no fellowship. There's no community. Sharing our burdens with each other is completely out of the question. After all, we have "prayer requests" for that! The fact that the typical church administration is so adamant about keeping the flock away from the pastor, it's no wonder everyone is staying at home. Why give up ten percent of your income to support a church that won't bother discipling any of its members? You may as well stay in your pajamas on Sunday. "I can be ignored just fine sitting at home! I don't need to go to church to do that. "

Fortunately, there are many Christ-followers who sincerely want to go back to the vision Jesus had for his church-- a vision of service to those in need; a vision of true evangelism; and above all, a worshipful surrender to our heavenly Father. I think it will happen soon. There is a revolution in the air, and it's led by the Holy Spirit. There's going to be a great revival of the saints. Very soon we will be going back to fellowshipping like we were meant to do. In the interim, we must work together, in spite of a tired, worn-out church model, to find a way to fellowship again.

I yield back the rest of my time... God bless. :)
Click to expand...
This is exactly how we feel on top of our autistic kid making it impossible. Only it's more like
1. Wake up by 7:30 am and spend 2 hours trying to get him up and out of the door. Church starts at 10 but we are always late.
2. Sit in the lobby with him because the music is too loud and the people all standing and singing are overwhelming.
3. Drag him into service under threats that he doesn't have to be happy but he can't scream. And I mean literally drag him.
4. Spend the next hour constantly being touched, nudged, leaned on, asked when its going to end, keeping him from kicking the seat in front of him, etc.
5. Give up and take him out of the service. Back to the lobby to wait for church to be over and my daughter and husband to come out.
6. Be completely ignored by everyone. If we bring up the problem with the people in charge they simply say kids his age need to be in the service.
7. Go home feeling completely defeated and unwanted. Realize we didn't hear a word of the service.
8. Deal with the overstimulation that comes from him being in church for the rest of the day. Monitor him closely so he doesn't injure anyone or break stuff.
It just makes us feel further from God.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
27,137
9,233
113
#15
All I know is, y'all should visit my church.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#16
Aug 13, 2014
27,137
9,233
113
#16
MammaGoose: Are you from Michigan? I know a man from Michigan is a Michigander, so would a woman from Michigan be a Michigoose?

Sorry, old joke.

We have a family at our church with an autistic boy, though from your description he's not quite as autistic as your son. It is sometimes a trial to his mother, for sure.

I have wondered if something is causing people to become autistic more frequently these days. I know a few people with autism. But population charts indicate it's not a rise in autism per capita, just that there are a lot more people these days and a lot more avenues for meeting people, so I know more people total than I used to know.

Unfortunately I can't think of many suggestions that you have not already thought of, so I'll spare you the list of obvious solutions I can think up. Only thing I can think of that you might not have thought of yet, is maybe give your son some earplugs?
 
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#17
Apr 7, 2014
25,449
13,389
113
58
#17
I've heard unbelievers say they don't attend church because the church is full of hypocrites, which is usually a cop out and they have no interest in going to church anyway.
 
M

Mammagoose

New member
#19
Dec 17, 2019
7
2
3
#19
Lynx said:
MammaGoose: Are you from Michigan? I know a man from Michigan is a Michigander, so would a woman from Michigan be a Michigoose?

Sorry, old joke.

We have a family at our church with an autistic boy, though from your description he's not quite as autistic as your son. It is sometimes a trial to his mother, for sure.

I have wondered if something is causing people to become autistic more frequently these days. I know a few people with autism. But population charts indicate it's not a rise in autism per capita, just that there are a lot more people these days and a lot more avenues for meeting people, so I know more people total than I used to know.

Unfortunately I can't think of many suggestions that you have not already thought of, so I'll spare you the list of obvious solutions I can think up. Only thing I can think of that you might not have thought of yet, is maybe give your son some earplugs?
Click to expand...
Nope I'm in California. We've tried earplugs they don't help him. For my son it was likely caused by a doctor not treating his jaundice when he should have. He was in the extremely high danger range for brain damage for 3 days when he was born and they suspect it damaged areas of his brain.
 
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