Can husband still cancel his wife's promise to God?

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Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#21
Jun 30, 2015
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#21
Anamaria1 said:
One more question guys... would you yourself support your wife in fulfilling her promise, IF that would mean you should let big part of your home's property go into garbage? For example she has promised to put away all made in China products from your home because they persecute christians and HongKong people in China and are kind of qonquering the world and getting rich and powerful with all their cheep products so that all people want to please them. But after this promise you and your wife realize that you must throw away almost all electronics, clothes and furniture from your home, tv, computer... Would you be supporting her in this? Or would you be happy to find a Bible place that tells that the husband can say no to his wife's promise? .... Or would you simply divorce from her or what?
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If you made such a promise without your husband's support and agreement beforehand, it was unwise. Making unilateral decisions that affect other people is a great way to cause strife. It's far better to discuss your concerns with him before making decisions.

It's a waste to throw serviceable items in the garbage. It is wiser to use them until they are useless and then replace them with something that doesn't violate your values, or simply go without. The corporations already have your money; they couldn't care less what you do with something you've already bought. A company whose products I've used for decades recently violated an ethical boundary. I will never purchase their products again, but I thought it silly to toss things I had already purchased; that only punishes me, not them.

What you describe is a significant lifestyle change. You and your husband need to be on the same page on this. Your marriage is a covenant, and breaking that covenant over "stuff" is both sinful and incredibly foolish.
 
A

Anamaria1

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#22
Dec 6, 2019
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#22
Dino246 said:
If you made such a promise without your husband's support and agreement beforehand, it was unwise. Making unilateral decisions that affect other people is a great way to cause strife. It's far better to discuss your concerns with him before making decisions.

It's a waste to throw serviceable items in the garbage. It is wiser to use them until they are useless and then replace them with something that doesn't violate your values, or simply go without. The corporations already have your money; they couldn't care less what you do with something you've already bought. A company whose products I've used for decades recently violated an ethical boundary. I will never purchase their products again, but I thought it silly to toss things I had already purchased; that only punishes me, not them.

What you describe is a significant lifestyle change. You and your husband need to be on the same page on this. Your marriage is a covenant, and breaking that covenant over "stuff" is both sinful and incredibly foolish.
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Thanks but I really would like to hear if you would support/help your wife to fulfill her promise in this kind of situation? Because I thought everybody here is just saying "promise is a promise".

And my situation is not exactly what I described here, this is now an imaginable/theoretical question. 🙂
 
A

Anamaria1

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#23
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#23
Or then you are thinking same way as is in Moses' law in the place that I quoted earlier, "Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself"? ...
 
A

Anamaria1

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#24
Dec 6, 2019
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#24
Of course promises can be stupid, like with Yephtah (or how do you write it?). But in the moment when it is made, it might not look so stupid at all. In my example maybe the wife didn't know that something like 90% of their stuff at home has come from China or other same kind of countries with big human rights problems. And at the moment of making a promise people usually can not think so carefully, they might be terrible scared for some reason, afraid of losing their own life/their kid's life for example. Maybe it's not possible to reach the husband or anyone at that moment, maybe it's midnight and everybody else sleeping...
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#25
Jun 30, 2015
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#25
Anamaria1 said:
Thanks but I really would like to hear if you would support/help your wife in this kind of situation? Because I thought everybody here is just saying "promise is a promise".

And my situation is not exactly what I described here, this is now an imaginable/theoretical question. 🙂
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No, I would not support her. If she made a promise as you described without my prior involvement and agreement, I would consider it to be her problem to sort out, and I would not tolerate her throwing out jointly-owned items. If she persisted in such foolishness, I would separate from her until she got her head straight. Divorce would be her choice, not mine.

A promise is not an unbreakable chain on your future behaviour; rather, it is a statement of commitment within your ability. James 4:13-15 speaks to this:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”

You can promise to do something, and be prevented by forces outside your control. What then? Is your life over because you didn't fulfill your promise? No. However, being a person of your word is an aspect of godly character, as is owning your mistakes. Further, it matters to whom the promise was made. If it was to God, you need to repent. If it was to another person, explain, apologize, and move on. If to yourself, get over it. Next time, don't make rash promises.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#26
Jun 30, 2015
24,778
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#26
Anamaria1 said:
Or then you are thinking same way as is in Moses' law in the place that I quoted earlier, "Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself"? ...
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No; what I'm saying is that where her promise makes requirements of me, I reject it. She is free to make decisions for herself; she is not free to make decisions for us.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#27
Jun 30, 2015
24,778
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#27
Anamaria1 said:
Of course promises can be stupid, like with Yephtah (or how do you write it?). But in the moment when it is made, it might not look so stupid at all. In my example maybe the wife didn't know that something like 90% of their stuff at home has come from China or other same kind of countries with big human rights problems. And at the moment of making a promise people usually can not think so carefully, they might be terrible scared for some reason, afraid of losing their own life/their kid's life for example. Maybe it's not possible to reach the husband or anyone at that moment, maybe it's midnight and everybody else sleeping...
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Here's the crux of the issue; it seems that you think it's okay to bind yourself and your family with your tongue. It's far better if you don't make "promises" at all.
 
A

Anamaria1

Member
#28
Dec 6, 2019
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#28
Dino246 said:
Here's the crux of the issue; it seems that you think it's okay to bind yourself and your family with your tongue. It's far better if you don't make "promises" at all.
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Thanks for your answers but I don't think I'm the one here who thinks like that... (of course you can still ask what is the situation if all these things have been bought with the wife's money and they are kind of hers... (the husband can have been unemployed for long time and the wife has received some heritage for example... Or her home that she had with ex-husband has finally Been sold..))
 
A

Anamaria1

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#29
Dec 6, 2019
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#29
And in a situation where a promise has been made, it doesn't really help to say "don't make promises".. many said this.. just wondering.. 🙂
 
A

Anamaria1

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#30
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#30
Anyway thank you for your careful answer Dino 🙂👍
 
oyster67

oyster67

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#31
May 24, 2014
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#31
It seemslike the underlying thought-question in man's heart is; "How much sin can I hold on to and still make it to heaven?" When Jesus opened his mouth and began to teach, He said some things that these kinds did not want to hear. He sort of raised the bar rather than lowering it.

Matthew 5
5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
5:33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
5:34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
5:35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
5:36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Context is everything in such matters. Breaking any oath with one's Maker should not even be an item on the table. Except a man's righteousness EXCEED that of the Pharisees, He shall not enter...

Matthew 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

1 Peter 1
1:13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
1:14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
1:16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning [here] in fear:
1:18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, [as] silver and gold, from your vain conversation [received] by tradition from your fathers;
1:19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:
 
A

Anamaria1

Member
#32
Dec 6, 2019
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#32
oyster67 said:
It seemslike the underlying thought-question in man's heart is; "How much sin can I hold on to and still make it to heaven?" When Jesus opened his mouth and began to teach, He said some things that these kinds did not want to hear. He sort of raised the bar rather than lowering it.

Matthew 5
5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
5:33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
5:34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
5:35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
5:36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Context is everything in such matters. Breaking any oath with one's Maker should not even be an item on the table. Except a man's righteousness EXCEED that of the Pharisees, He shall not enter...

Matthew 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

1 Peter 1
1:13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
1:14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
1:16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning [here] in fear:
1:18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, [as] silver and gold, from your vain conversation [received] by tradition from your fathers;
1:19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:
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Maybe you could answer my last question too... 😉
 
A

Anamaria1

Member
#33
Dec 6, 2019
40
15
8
#33
oyster67 said:
It seemslike the underlying thought-question in man's heart is; "How much sin can I hold on to and still make it to heaven?" When Jesus opened his mouth and began to teach, He said some things that these kinds did not want to hear. He sort of raised the bar rather than lowering it.

Matthew 5
5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
5:33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
5:34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
5:35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
5:36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Context is everything in such matters. Breaking any oath with one's Maker should not even be an item on the table. Except a man's righteousness EXCEED that of the Pharisees, He shall not enter...

Matthew 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

1 Peter 1
1:13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
1:14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
1:16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning [here] in fear:
1:18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, [as] silver and gold, from your vain conversation [received] by tradition from your fathers;
1:19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:
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Talking about me, I have been fulfilling my promise, as long as it concerns me. Because I don't know for sure, if I can count anything on this Moses' law place. I think it's not a sin to talk about Bible interpretation.
 
A

Anamaria1

Member
#34
Dec 6, 2019
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#34
Ovet all I think it's inaproppriate to start talking about somebody's personal life and judging him/her when this person is only asking something in general.
 
oyster67

oyster67

Senior Member
#35
May 24, 2014
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#35
Anamaria1 said:
Ovet all I think it's inaproppriate to start talking about somebody's personal life and judging him/her when this person is only asking something in general.
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Are you angry at me about something?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#36
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#36
Anamaria1 said:
One more question guys... would you yourself support your wife in fulfilling her promise, IF that would mean you should let big part of your home's property go into garbage? For example she has promised to put away all made in China products from your home because they persecute christians and HongKong people in China and are kind of qonquering the world and getting rich and powerful with all their cheep products so that all people want to please them. But after this promise you and your wife realize that you must throw away almost all electronics, clothes and furniture from your home, tv, computer... Would you be supporting her in this? Or would you be happy to find a Bible place that tells that the husband can say no to his wife's promise? .... Or would you simply divorce from her or what?
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No part of my home's property is going in the garbage despite any promises made. It is best in a marriage not to make a promise that would affect the spouse who had no part in making such a promise. Most products today are made in China. Sorry about persecution but don't believe that a boycott of China is practical at this time.
 
A

Anamaria1

Member
#37
Dec 6, 2019
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#37
Well here we see this Moses' law place coming true... I think if the husband made this kind of promise, he could maybe keep this promise easily and buy new products. But with wives this is different with less money and taking care of kids... And so we start to understand what's behind this Moses' law teaching. 😉 Men really could be angry and dangerous to a wife behaving like this.

So the conclusion is... If you notice that your promise concerns also other people, you don't have to keep it? I think I was asking this already in the beginning but then nobody said anything to this...
 
T

TheLearner

Well-known member
#38
Jan 14, 2019
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Brighton, MI
#38
Anamaria1 said:
Yes, another question about promises... in Moses' law the the husband or the father of a woman could take back his wife's promise to God:

"And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;

7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.

9 But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

10 And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;

11 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.

13 Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void." (Numbers 30.)

It's not always clear to me, which Old Testament parts concern also christians and what not (well, the easy parts are sure clear like that we need no animal sacrifices anymore because we have the sacrifice of Jesus), so what do you think can christian husband cancel his wife's promise to God? So that God is ok with it. I think maybe it could be possible, because in New covenant the wifes are still submissive to husbands. And sure husbands still today can have problems with wife's promises.
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Numbers 30 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
Special Promises
30 Moses spoke with all the leaders of the Israelite tribes and told them about these commands from the Lord:

Are you and your wife a member of one of the tribes of Israel? If not, then the chapter is not even addressed to you and your wife is not a slave of it.
 
Whispered

Whispered

Well-known member
#39
Aug 17, 2019
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www.christiancourier.com
#39
Anamaria1 said:
Yes, another question about promises... in Moses' law the the husband or the father of a woman could take back his wife's promise to God:

"And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;

7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.

9 But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

10 And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;

11 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.

13 Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void." (Numbers 30.)

It's not always clear to me, which Old Testament parts concern also christians and what not (well, the easy parts are sure clear like that we need no animal sacrifices anymore because we have the sacrifice of Jesus), so what do you think can christian husband cancel his wife's promise to God? So that God is ok with it. I think maybe it could be possible, because in New covenant the wifes are still submissive to husbands. And sure husbands still today can have problems with wife's promises.
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This pertains to the old testament Mitzvah, laws of God, and do not stand for the Christian today. A woman is not property of her husband. They are united as one. Not one greater than the other.
The book of Numbers 29: 39 “ ‘In addition to what you vow and your freewill offerings, offer these to the LORD at your appointed festivals: your burnt offerings, grain offerings, drink offerings and fellowship offerings.’ ”
 
A

Anamaria1

Member
#40
Dec 6, 2019
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#40
TheLearner said:
Numbers 30 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
Special Promises
30 Moses spoke with all the leaders of the Israelite tribes and told them about these commands from the Lord:

Are you and your wife a member of one of the tribes of Israel? If not, then the chapter is not even addressed to you and your wife is not a slave of it.
Click to expand...
At least apostole Paul thinks we christians are supposed to learn something also from The books of Moses:

"And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.

11 These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the culmination of the ages has come." (1. Cor. 10.)
 
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