Dealing with adult kids

Thank you all for your thoughts. The grandkids I am talking about are 12, 6, 5, 3 and 3, from two different families that live in our town. They always come to our house because I do daycare and have toys and all baby and child items that I would need here. The kids love to play with different toys than they have at home. I have rules in place to stay organized and safe for my daycare. We use those same rules for the grandkids. My adult kids think that we are too strict with their kids. The rules I go by are the same rules we had when our kids were little. Our adult kids get mad at us for insisting that the grandkids use their manners, and also for not letting them just play and have fun instead of being tyrants. They say we are the wrong ones and should lighten up. The grandkids don't mind. We have fun with them and they are always asking to come again. I have prayed and prayed about this. I don't want my kids mad at me but my rules work. My daycare parents love the rules. Do adult kids just have a need to disagree with their parents? Or as a grandparent am I not keeping up with the times?

Yes, they are Christian, but they don't go to church. Their kids have been Baptized and introduced to to God's teaching but not enforced a lot. I try to work on that too.

I need advice. We love to have our grandkids come and spend time with us. Our grandkids seem to love it too since they are always asking to spend the night. Our problem is our kids, parents of said grandkids, are very critical with our methods. It may be discipline, eating, bed times, whatever. It seems we are always doing something wrong. We are pretty average compared to others we know. We do things the same way we did when our kids were little. We want the grandkids to have fun but to also be healthy and safe. Is this a generational thing? It hurts that they get upset with us.

That’s wonderful that you are instilling that into the kids. What are some the BIG differences that you and the parents disagree on? Is it simple rules or matters of faith?

I am a grandmother of 15 , and another one on the way...

One thing I know for sure which I have learned since being born again is that my small grandchildren and teen grandchildren love the stability in my home because I have set the paths in my home as in how they should walk , I give God the thanks for that through His teaching...

Stick to what you are doing , your adult children may make a fuss , but inwardly you are also showing them how to raise their children...

Be strong in the LORD , fear God and not your children , your grandchildren will grow up around you knowing that they always have a safe place at grans home...
...xox...

We have two major issues that have been stressing me out. We are a blended family of eight kids. We were strict parents but I don't think unfair. With both my husband and I working full time and all the kids in sports, we had to have rules and be organized in order to make it through the teen years. We all went to church every weekend. they never complained, they knew that's just how it was. We were very involved in our kids' lives. They are all successful adults. Their spouses are from small families. That may have something to do with it. They now think we were too strict. They want their kids to be kids and not have so many rules. One mom is a health food fanatic though.
I don't know how to turn off the routines I have been conditioned to have for the past 30 years. And I don't know that I should, they aren't bad. I still do the same things with my daycare kids and it works great. They are actually my rules and my husband has always backed me up. When the kids get upset with me, I get hurt. My husband gets upset with the kids for upsetting me and the kids get mad at him too. I feel like it's all my fault but I don't know what I should do about it. I wonder how Jesus would handle this. Families are supposed to love each other.

We have two major issues that have been stressing me out. We are a blended family of eight kids. We were strict parents but I don't think unfair. With both my husband and I working full time and all the kids in sports, we had to have rules and be organized in order to make it through the teen years. We all went to church every weekend. they never complained, they knew that's just how it was. We were very involved in our kids' lives. They are all successful adults. Their spouses are from small families. That may have something to do with it. They now think we were too strict. They want their kids to be kids and not have so many rules. One mom is a health food fanatic though.
I don't know how to turn off the routines I have been conditioned to have for the past 30 years. And I don't know that I should, they aren't bad. I still do the same things with my daycare kids and it works great. They are actually my rules and my husband has always backed me up. When the kids get upset with me, I get hurt. My husband gets upset with the kids for upsetting me and the kids get mad at him too. I feel like it's all my fault but I don't know what I should do about it. I wonder how Jesus would handle this. Families are supposed to love each other.

Family can be very challenging. Kind of sounds like the parents are idealistic instead of using wisdom and rationality. Unfortunately that’s a hard nut to crack. Only the Lord can change a persons heart, we can only simply show them way.

You should tell them that you love having your grandchildren, but that should not be at the expense of havoc in your household. If they are unwilling to at least consider that maybe a bit of a break is required. It’s painful I know, but maybe they will see that you do this out of love and not obligation. Prayer is your best asset. Ask the Lord for guidance and I guarantee a way will be provided.