Amen Brother! I am unable to not believe. I have to stick with the original doctrine of the New Testament, and that is th Pauline Doctrine of Justification solely by faith. Why do I stick with that? Because I used to not believe in God until He drew me up into his love and gave me the holy spirit without me pursuing it. HE gave me my faith, love, and desire to know him. I never believed enough to even ask for it. He has imputed me with the Holy Spirit in October of 99, and for 20 years its been my demise to figure out what he wants from me. Every single night and day i try to figure his will out. The calling and opening my eyes to the truth was and is ALL him. I try to be humble (but its hard to) when I say I have been chosen. If he's going t do all that and take it back because at one point I sinned enough for him to disown me then I don't want him as my God anyhow. OSAS is true doctrine.
God bless you Brother
in Christ,
Bob
AMEN, AMEN, and AMEN!
That testimony is a lot like mine. I certainly Understand, and KNOW, what it means to be CALLED, and WHY we CANNOT walk away from OSAS that is the TRUE DOCTRINE.
Yes, I used to be into the Party Hardy lifestyle and everything that went with it.
After a nasty Divorce where the marriage only lasted six months.
I attempted suicide three times the last week of 1977.
First two times with Pistol, and the trigger Half pulled, SHEAR TERROR of walking into Hades/Hell, by my own action, left me SHAKING.
Third time I tried to arrange a fatal Motorcylce accident, by getting drunker than I have ever been on my motorcylce, and while taunting GOD, rode down a very LOOSE, freshly graveled RODE, FULL THROTTLE, with NO HELMET, and leaning OVER the handle bars, so I WOULD HIT HEAD FIRST. The bike felt like I was riding of PAVEMENT, for a full mile of LOOSE GRAVEL.
Afterwards I went home and sat up until I was sober, trying to figure out what HAPPENED.
I think it was about 4:00 A.M. as I was walking into the Bed Room, it HIT ME, "I CAN NOT RIDE A BIKE LIKE THAT, EVEN SOBER." As I realized HE HAD TO HAVE GRABBED THE BIKE, and said, I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE! Wave, after wave, after Wave OF GUILT, for my whole lifestyle washed over me. I Kept CRYING LIKE A BABY for an hour or two, "CRYING OUT TO HIM, FORGIVE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"
On my Knees at First, then later on I went PRONE. At some time I PRAYED A PRAYER, that I had NEVER LEARNED BEFORE THAT NIGHT. I think it was the Holy Spirit, WHO gave it to me: "
Lord FORGIVE ME, Please FORGIVE ME! If you have a purpose for my life, then you are going to have to come into it, and run my life. Because I CAN'T DO IT, I am making a Total Mess of it." I knew that was FOREVER, a total SURRENDER TO HIM, OUT OF LOVE. AND my Church Never taught that to me.
Then something Happened to me, besides the Holy Spirit took up PERMANENT residence in my heart. No, I am not a Charismatic, nothing like that, I Knew my spirit was alive, by the EXTREME CONVICTION OF SIN, but something else happened. I had a Dream or Vision. If it was a Dream, it was WAY VIVID BEYOND any Dream I ever had. I was LITERALLY at the Cross, Kneeling, reaching up to HIM on the Cross, and still CRYING, "Forgive Me, Please Forgive Me!" Then I NOTICED, the Nails were THROUGH HIS WRISTS, and that was years before I learned the JEWS consider the Wrists to be Part of the HANDS. I saw the Blood from those Nail Holes, fall and Splashed on my raised forearms, AND THE BLOOD FELT WARM:
That is where the Dream or Vision ENDED. AND I KNEW THAT BLOOD PAID FOR MY SINS FOREVER.
YES, HE GREW ME, CONTROLLED ME as long as my sin nature did not raise it's ugly head, BROUGHT A HUNGER FOR THE WORD, MOLDED ME THROUGH IT, AND USED ME. I am still in AWE how HE USED ME. I used to say: "There ain't No way I will ever move to California." Well, I have finally learned not to put limits on GOD, because HE DID MOVE ME TO CALIFORNIA. He wanted me a born and raised Nebraskan, with NO BIBLE COLLEGE; to Start a Prison Ministry in a New supermax Prison in California. HE KEEP OPENING DOORS, and I JUST KEPT WALKING THRU THEM, AND KEPT TRUSTING HIM TO DO WHAT I COULD NOT.
HE DID IT ALL!
My wife passed away Nov. 2015, after I retired from the Post Office, so I came home to Nebraska.