Prayer that I can have understanding

My mother is a perfectionist, and the heartbreaking thing is that i know it’s because she’s so hard on herself. This probably came from growing up with her mother, and her parents, and so on.

She wants things done “right” but if it’s not done by her then it really never is. If she makes a mistake or it’s too hard it’s fine because she knows what went into it, but if a person dealt with the same thing she’d be all over them.

This was the case with my father, so he ended up not letting her help with things because it just got so exhausting over time. Now since it’s just me and her I get the brunt of it. Mom and I have similar personalities, but instead of getting more tight about things when I’m nervous or unsure, my coping mechanism is to go “eh it’s good enough.” This can be good and bad, since with mom “good enough” is never good enough.

See and I know part of this is exaggerated too. She’s not as bad as I say, but I say it that way because of my hurt. Because it’s so ingrained in her reactions and my response to her actions that I kinda don’t know how to not do the same responses and attempts to get her to see how critical she’s being.

TLDR: You can see this really affects me, and I need prayer for understanding. Not that she change her ways, but that I can be graceful and learn how to work effectively with it. God made all personally quirks with goods and bads, I wanna work with the goods.

You honestly seem very self-aware to me and display a thorough understanding of yourself, mother, and how your present relationship has been shaped by various experiences. What you need to understand, in my humble opinion, is how to be at peace. I will pray for you both to have peace and understanding.

Philippians 4:6-7

"Forgive them for they know not what they do". Oh, how easy it is to say but oh so hard to put to practice. I've had tough times with my mom too. Pretty similar to what you shared and it hurt me a lot too. It took me a couple of years until I was older and more mature to finally be able to have a heart to heart chat with my mom -not in a condescending way but in a "hey mom, can I share something with you" kind of way. She didn't realize how she was portraying herself towards me and I realized she never meant any harm. Even if all the answers are what you know them to be, hearing from them directly brings everything to the light. And sometimes, that heals your wound. I will be praying for God to speak to you. Maybe a heart to heart chat is what you need. All the best my friend.