My mother is a perfectionist, and the heartbreaking thing is that i know it’s because she’s so hard on herself. This probably came from growing up with her mother, and her parents, and so on.
She wants things done “right” but if it’s not done by her then it really never is. If she makes a mistake or it’s too hard it’s fine because she knows what went into it, but if a person dealt with the same thing she’d be all over them.
This was the case with my father, so he ended up not letting her help with things because it just got so exhausting over time. Now since it’s just me and her I get the brunt of it. Mom and I have similar personalities, but instead of getting more tight about things when I’m nervous or unsure, my coping mechanism is to go “eh it’s good enough.” This can be good and bad, since with mom “good enough” is never good enough.
See and I know part of this is exaggerated too. She’s not as bad as I say, but I say it that way because of my hurt. Because it’s so ingrained in her reactions and my response to her actions that I kinda don’t know how to not do the same responses and attempts to get her to see how critical she’s being.
TLDR: You can see this really affects me, and I need prayer for understanding. Not that she change her ways, but that I can be graceful and learn how to work effectively with it. God made all personally quirks with goods and bads, I wanna work with the goods.
She wants things done “right” but if it’s not done by her then it really never is. If she makes a mistake or it’s too hard it’s fine because she knows what went into it, but if a person dealt with the same thing she’d be all over them.
This was the case with my father, so he ended up not letting her help with things because it just got so exhausting over time. Now since it’s just me and her I get the brunt of it. Mom and I have similar personalities, but instead of getting more tight about things when I’m nervous or unsure, my coping mechanism is to go “eh it’s good enough.” This can be good and bad, since with mom “good enough” is never good enough.
See and I know part of this is exaggerated too. She’s not as bad as I say, but I say it that way because of my hurt. Because it’s so ingrained in her reactions and my response to her actions that I kinda don’t know how to not do the same responses and attempts to get her to see how critical she’s being.
TLDR: You can see this really affects me, and I need prayer for understanding. Not that she change her ways, but that I can be graceful and learn how to work effectively with it. God made all personally quirks with goods and bads, I wanna work with the goods.
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