Is celibacy in God’s plan?

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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#1
Don’t panic about the title, I don’t mean you personally 🤣

I guess the thing is - with us as singles - it’s an understandable fear I’ve heard of “dying alone.” But what if God had that in mind for you? Would you be willing to accept that? Do you even think that’s a possibility? And with us being believers do we really believe we’re alone, or do we lean not only on Him but family and friends?

Just a thought provoker. I think it’s true God has someone for everyone, but it may be that someone is Him.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
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Tennessee
#2
Paul did say that it was better to marry than to burn with passion. I would say that perhaps celibacy is the plan if that person is agreeable to it, otherwise plan B may go into effect. Even if married, there will almost always be one that dies alone. No, we are never truly alone because God is with us but even Adam was lonely even though the Lord was with him because at the time there was not a creature made for him alone. I don't really believe that God has someone for everyone but will certainly search and find your heart's desire if it is His will and desire for your life. Speaking from years of personal experience what really motivated me to end my singleness was loneliness. The quiet sound of loneliness in an empty house is deafening.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
113
#3
Well I guess if that is his plan I would be fine with it, I can understand the desire to be married and have a fmaily with the person you love for some that is their life's goal but I only need him to be happy
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#4
Don’t panic about the title, I don’t mean you personally 🤣

I guess the thing is - with us as singles - it’s an understandable fear I’ve heard of “dying alone.” But what if God had that in mind for you? Would you be willing to accept that? Do you even think that’s a possibility? And with us being believers do we really believe we’re alone, or do we lean not only on Him but family and friends?

Just a thought provoker. I think it’s true God has someone for everyone, but it may be that someone is Him.
Whatever God has in plan for me, I will trust Him, regardless - Jeremiah 29:11 :)

Like Blain said, Jesus completes me and makes me happy ❤️
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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Arizona
#5
I like that God let’s us do either according to His will. If you don’t marry then cool, if you do marry then you find a good thing
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#6
Jesus died with two others beside him and he was celibate so Im not sure what you are implying Artsie!

Do married people always die together??? Maybe in a car crash God forbid otherwise I know there are plenty of widows.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
#7
Whatever God has in plan for me, I will trust Him, regardless - Jeremiah 29:11 :)

Like Blain said, Jesus completes me and makes me happy ❤️


Jeremiah 29:11-14 :)
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#8
Hi Steph,
You bring up interesting topics. :)
For me, as that is all I really can speak for, I wish I did have a mate, but the issue is not so much celibacy. When I use that term mate I think of someone who understands what makes me laugh, what makes me sad and lifts my heart. Just as much I wish I had someone who would let me do the same for them. As we get older, shared trips to the farmers' market, walking the beach looking for sea glass, playing with the dogs or big family meals warm the heart and make you think of belonging. My concern is about missing that closeness rather than being worried about being celibate. Unless I loved someone then I don't care if I'm celibate. What I miss most is that sense of belonging, of warmth and knowing that to one person you are their home. Once again I can only speak for myself.
As for dying alone, yes ultimately when we die it is between you and God, but again I think it is an issue of belonging. For that I think you can form your own community of family. I have a small group of girlfriends who keep an eye out for each other. If one of us gets 20 lbs. of potatoes or onions, we divvy them up. One of my friends likes to sew and made us all masks. I'll supply the freezer jam and so on. We pray for each other, know each others stories and we all know we can call each other no matter the situation. One of my friends just showed up with a jigsaw puzzle. I love them. It was of all the Dr.Whos and the tardis. That is how well they know this little sci fi geek. When you have people who love you and know you and keep you tethered, you don't have to die alone.
Hugs, laughingheart
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,415
9,402
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#9
I heard "freezer jam" so I'm here. :cool:
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,415
9,402
113
#10
I think some of us will only know what God's plan is when we get to the end of life. It might be God's plan to be single my whole life, or there might be a spouse in the plan.

The thing about God's plans though, they usually don't center around what I want. They have a lot to do with what I need though, and what I will need to accomplish what I am supposed to do.

I think a lot of people are going to get to the end of life and find out they totally blew off what they were supposed to do because they spent the whole life chasing after the things they wanted.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
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Tennessee
#11
I think a lot of people are going to get to the end of life and find out they totally blew off what they were supposed to do because they spent the whole life chasing after the things they wanted.
This is profound. Personally, I would not want to come to the end of my life with serious regrets about neglecting the work that God had intended me to do and accomplish.
 
Feb 10, 2014
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#12
In my opinion, celibacy is a pact you make between yourself and God. God's plan is usually to wait until the person He has called you to be is ready and you are ready to meet that person (or as I have seen finally acknowledge that you should get married)....I attended a Church where brothers and sisters who knew each other for many years would finally end up getting married to one another.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#13
I think ppl shouldnt be afraid of dying whether its alone or you want it to be a big show on tv.

as for celibacy it really is the best thing for you if you are single cos otherwise things just get way to complicated. Celibacy in marriage though, I dont know about that!
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
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#14
Don’t panic about the title, I don’t mean you personally 🤣

I guess the thing is - with us as singles - it’s an understandable fear I’ve heard of “dying alone.” But what if God had that in mind for you? Would you be willing to accept that? Do you even think that’s a possibility? And with us being believers do we really believe we’re alone, or do we lean not only on Him but family and friends?

Just a thought provoker. I think it’s true God has someone for everyone, but it may be that someone is Him.
I would like to suggest that if God had in mind for an individual to be single thier whole life, they would fall into the categorie of Eunuch in Matthew 19:12 or gifted with singless in 1 Corinthians 7. I have known of only one person in my 58 years of life who had that gift. He was a local evangelist who by his own admission had that gift. I'm not talking about the apostle Paul, but a man who lived in the area here. Apparently he was good at it because his converts bought him a house and took care of his needs. He is no longer alive. Someone with that gift flourishes being single.

I think the Bible commands those who can't contain to marry "Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband" is as good as a command. This is for those who will not survive without sex. That is fornication and not allowed outside of marriage. I endured 30 years of that before getting married and I don't know how I survived. It was ugly at times but eventually God gave me a wife.

The church fails singles when it does not teach and encourge them to get married. Thankfully my pastor didn't give up. I only had one pastor who encouraged me to marry, and THAT was the one who was there when it happened.

I did not accept being single as God's will forever since I knew the Bible said get married if you can not control your passions. Contentment was difficult while I was trying to find a mate. I needed to be content and I needed to get married. You do the best you can but it's hard.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#15
I would like to suggest that if God had in mind for an individual to be single thier whole life, they would fall into the categorie of Eunuch in Matthew 19:12 or gifted with singless in 1 Corinthians 7. I have known of only one person in my 58 years of life who had that gift. He was a local evangelist who by his own admission had that gift. I'm not talking about the apostle Paul, but a man who lived in the area here. Apparently he was good at it because his converts bought him a house and took care of his needs. He is no longer alive. Someone with that gift flourishes being single.

I think the Bible commands those who can't contain to marry "Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband" is as good as a command. This is for those who will not survive without sex. That is fornication and not allowed outside of marriage. I endured 30 years of that before getting married and I don't know how I survived. It was ugly at times but eventually God gave me a wife.

The church fails singles when it does not teach and encourge them to get married. Thankfully my pastor didn't give up. I only had one pastor who encouraged me to marry, and THAT was the one who was there when it happened.

I did not accept being single as God's will forever since I knew the Bible said get married if you can not control your passions. Contentment was difficult while I was trying to find a mate. I needed to be content and I needed to get married. You do the best you can but it's hard.
To me, it sounds more like a curse than a gift.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
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#16
To me, it sounds more like a curse than a gift.
Then it likely isn't your gift of calling to be single. For Paul it was God's calling for him, at least at the time of his conversion. Paul may have been a widower. For people like him, with the gift of singleness, being single is easy to do, for those without the gift of singleness (gift as in calling, spiritual gifting, not circumstance), being married was not desirable.

I agree with you, a life of no intimacy sounds like torture. That's why I kept trying to marry and finally succeeded.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#17
Then it likely isn't your gift of calling to be single. For Paul it was God's calling for him, at least at the time of his conversion. Paul may have been a widower. For people like him, with the gift of singleness, being single is easy to do, for those without the gift of singleness (gift as in calling, spiritual gifting, not circumstance), being married was not desirable.

I agree with you, a life of no intimacy sounds like torture. That's why I kept trying to marry and finally succeeded.
Personally, I much prefer married life. I'm glad that it worked out for you. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
 

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2020
1,016
189
63
#18
Don’t panic about the title, I don’t mean you personally 🤣

I guess the thing is - with us as singles - it’s an understandable fear I’ve heard of “dying alone.” But what if God had that in mind for you? Would you be willing to accept that? Do you even think that’s a possibility? And with us being believers do we really believe we’re alone, or do we lean not only on Him but family and friends?

Just a thought provoker. I think it’s true God has someone for everyone, but it may be that someone is Him.
Jesus say some people make themselves single because of kingdom of heaven, some were born that way and some were made that way by men. I do it because of the kingdom of heaven, it there was marriage in heaven, i would invest in it, and die married it would be one of life's purposes for me.