Dads and daughters

question for dads on here...do you give away your daughter to be married to a husband or have you kept her?
What if she chooses to run away or go with someone you dont like. Would you let her come back to the family after a divorce?

My daughter did not ask me to give her away so that didn't happen for me. She did get a divorced but a few years later remarried the same man and currently happily married. I approved of him the first time and also the second time.

I dont think the daughters have to ASK their dads to give them away. It is something the DADS are meant to do or not do isnt it? Otherwise any guy could just come along and steal your daughter.

My wife is from a culture in Indonesia where parental consent is extremely important. Socially, it is pretty much mandatory. There are dating couples who do not get married up until 30 or so because mom and dad did not approve.

I am from the US, where people think it is up to the couple. But I see giving in marriage in the Bible. Even the pagan Shechemites knew that they needed the girl's dad to give her away.

I don't let my kids date until they are old enough to get married. Mom and Dad have both taught them parental approval is needed for marriage. So I hope they don't run away. When we eat cantelope, I have said you can't elope. I think I'll mention in our Bible study sometime that I would consider it dishonoring to parents to elope or marry someone we did not approve of.

I wish there were a local network of Christian families that arrange marriages. The OT says find wives for your sons and husbands for your daughters. I suggested arranged marriage to my daughters. I told them I don't really have much of a sense at all of whether a man is good looking (I have almost no clue), but don't worry. I'm sure I'd pick a good one. (I was kind of teasing, but if such a thing existed in our part of the world, I could rely on mom for help with the looks. I'd want to match up for my kids' consideration for courting, not to have them married a veiled stranger at the alter.)

My wife's culture has a little bit of match-making/arranging. Usually it's between cousins who got into their 30's without having married, though a couple of cousins were younger and one may have married a non-relative in the same people-group.

If one of my girls ran off and married some bozo who kicked her out, I'd be willing to take her back into my home if I were able. They are my kids, and I want to take care of them. Of course, if they were able to support themselves, that might not be necessary.

You cannot keep her. Daughters are going to leave and marry the man they love. A man most likely similar to their father. My daughter was older like 30 when she met the man she married. He came and asked me to approve the marriage. I could not prevent the marriage so I gave him the best advice I could offer.

I did not feel he was ready to marry but to his credit he has grown up in the Lord since then. They did go through pre-marital counseling before they were married. God has blessed them with a lovely foster child. We are praying they will be able to adopt him in the not too distant future.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

I thought if the guy wanted the daughter for himself he had to ask the Dad first and not just take her cos it would be stealing.

Parents are meant to keep their children safe after all and not just let them go, thats how many end up lost/go missing. Or worse case scenario, dead. I think especially for dads to protect their daughters as daughters are more vulnerable than sons.

Huh? Stealing? No, taking someone against their will is kidnapping. Marrying a woman against her parents' wishes is just a recipe for family strife, not a crime.

The context of this thread is marriage, so we're not talking about "children" but about marriage-age adults.

For a Christian, one's children are equally valuable, regardless of gender.

For the Chinese, you(daughter) especially must have your father permission. Society will looked down on you as cheap if you didnt get your father consent in marriage.

Many Americans and some other westerners have a blind spot when it comes to marriage. In the Bible, virgin daughters were to be given in marriage. Even Shechem's father knew that he could not just elope with Dinar. Her father had to consent for the two to be married.

I Corinthians 7 also speaks of giving in marriage. But a Christian widow may marry whoever she wills, but only in the Lord.

I never understood much of american culture.....but then there are dysfunctional families in every culture.

The best thing to do is complete relationships with all parties. If the man was financially independent and was good in nature and character and cared generally for my daughter, i would let her marry him. Its all about support and how he can offer it to his woman.