Christian Dating in the Digital Age

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GodsGirlLV

Guest
#1
The world has changed so much since the last time I was in the dating pool. Now it's all apps, websites, social media, profiles, and endless chat. How do you make a real connection with a prospective date in the digital age?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#2
I actually find it easier. I'm not on dating sites or a social media addict. But "endless chat" I consider getting to know someone.
I don't even really actively look, yet still manage to meet people. Nor have I ever been one to go on dates. Friendships grow into something more. Those friendships start online.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#3
It helps a lot to know what you are looking for in a prospective spouse. My #1 rule on dating is to not waste your precious time dating a person that you would not consider marrying.

As for the digital age of dating I am really only familiar with this site and found that you can separate the phonies from those that are genuine from their post history and forum decorum. I am referring to the frequent regular contributors in the forums.

It has been said, more than once, that this site is not a dating site. While I agree that the primary purpose is to be a vehicle for promoting Christian fellowship I struck gold here in regards to dating. There have been several other marriages that came about from this site since I joined in 2014.

Of course, it is best to allow God to search and find the one of your heart's desire but you must be ready to take bold decisive action if an opportunity should arise. That was what I did. By the grace of God we will be celebrating our 6th anniversary in November.
 
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GodsGirlLV

Guest
#4
It helps a lot to know what you are looking for in a prospective spouse. My #1 rule on dating is to not waste your precious time dating a person that you would not consider marrying.

As for the digital age of dating I am really only familiar with this site and found that you can separate the phonies from those that are genuine from their post history and forum decorum. I am referring to the frequent regular contributors in the forums.

It has been said, more than once, that this site is not a dating site. While I agree that the primary purpose is to be a vehicle for promoting Christian fellowship I struck gold here in regards to dating. There have been several other marriages that came about from this site since I joined in 2014.

Of course, it is best to allow God to search and find the one of your heart's desire but you must be ready to take bold decisive action if an opportunity should arise. That was what I did. By the grace of God we will be celebrating our 6th anniversary in November.
This is an awesome story! I'm so happy you found love here of all places! WOW! Congrats to the both of you! :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#5
This is an awesome story! I'm so happy you found love here of all places! WOW! Congrats to the both of you! :)
God bless you and those that you love. Each member here has a story to tell. Looking forward to reading a few pages of yours.
 
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Scribe

Guest
#6
Church. That is still God's method. Forget social media. Get involved in your church and specifically the mission of God to reach the lost in whatever ministry you would like to get involved with. When you do you will meet people with like passions and a heart for God and you will become friends. Then those connections can develop as your relate with people who have the same interests that you do and you are able to witness how they live over time. You can't do that with a website. Social Media will never replace the church.

People who think they can watch a sermon online as their church do not understand the purpose of church. It is not about attending a speech by a good orator. It is about working together as a family to reach the world for Jesus Christ. Get busy doing that and the rest will take care of itself.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,098
10,663
113
#7
Church. That is still God's method. Forget social media. Get involved in your church and specifically the mission of God to reach the lost in whatever ministry you would like to get involved with. When you do you will meet people with like passions and a heart for God and you will become friends. Then those connections can develop as your relate with people who have the same interests that you do and you are able to witness how they live over time. You can't do that with a website. Social Media will never replace the church.

People who think they can watch a sermon online as their church do not understand the purpose of church. It is not about attending a speech by a good orator. It is about working together as a family to reach the world for Jesus Christ. Get busy doing that and the rest will take care of itself.
Excuse me but is that you in the picture, Scribe?

The world has changed so much since the last time I was in the dating pool. Now it's all apps, websites, social media, profiles, and endless chat. How do you make a real connection with a prospective date in the digital age?
If you are around a Christian Church, taking classes and getting involved with volunteer work is how some friends I know met their spouses. One friend met her husband on E-Harmony and my son met his wife while on a jazz music chat site on YT. So like Tourist said, one needs to step out in faith and meet people, but don't waste time on someone you know you wouldn't want a future with. It's normal for young people to want to marry and have families. If some choose a single life, so be it. God bless you and I pray you find God's man for you!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,379
9,384
113
#10
Church. That is still God's method. Forget social media. Get involved in your church and specifically the mission of God to reach the lost in whatever ministry you would like to get involved with. When you do you will meet people with like passions and a heart for God and you will become friends. Then those connections can develop as your relate with people who have the same interests that you do and you are able to witness how they live over time. You can't do that with a website. Social Media will never replace the church.

People who think they can watch a sermon online as their church do not understand the purpose of church. It is not about attending a speech by a good orator. It is about working together as a family to reach the world for Jesus Christ. Get busy doing that and the rest will take care of itself.
This can be good advice, depending on the church and depending on the person. I'm a 42 year old guy in a church of about 90, so it doesn't work too well for me... I am NOT dating a teenage woman, and that's all that are available here.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#11
my family doesnt go to church, so, the idea that church is family or where you find family or make a family doesnt work for me. I have also seen lots of families split up in churches. :-(

The best place to find families is in school.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#12
digital age - well email instewd of writing a letter, txt instead of phoning, facebook instead of taking photos and going to get them developed or poloroids.

It may be faster, but the same heartbreaks happen....I would advise dont go on dating sites, free ones are usually overurun by scammers and paid ones probably the same. If you really want to date I would say go find a matchmaker in your family (your favourite aunt perhaps) and say hook me up with someone suitable. It will give her something to do.
 
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Scribe

Guest
#13
my family doesnt go to church, so, the idea that church is family or where you find family or make a family doesnt work for me. I have also seen lots of families split up in churches. :-(

The best place to find families is in school.
The local church is still God's method. If it is God's method for us to assemble and operate as one body in worship, fellowship/family and doing the work of the ministry, caring for one another, preferring one another, easing one another burdens, and building up one another for the work of the ministry and to evangelize all nations. It is not possible to know Jesus Christ in the fullness that he intended if one neglects the local church as not necessary.

And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, 23Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.

Check out an Assemblies of God Church near you. Give it a chance. Maybe you have just been to the wrong churches. Or try a nondenominational Spirit Filled church.
 
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TheIndianGirl

Guest
#14
This can be good advice, depending on the church and depending on the person. I'm a 42 year old guy in a church of about 90, so it doesn't work too well for me... I am NOT dating a teenage woman, and that's all that are available here.
I have the same issue. The weekly attendance at my church is about 100 and I have not found someone eligible. There are a few guys whom superficially might fit my criteria (based on age, education, etc.) but there is no attraction. There was one guy who liked me a few years ago but I pushed him away, and he never returned to the church.
 
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Scribe

Guest
#15
I have the same issue. The weekly attendance at my church is about 100 and I have not found someone eligible. There are a few guys whom superficially might fit my criteria (based on age, education, etc.) but there is no attraction. There was one guy who liked me a few years ago but I pushed him away, and he never returned to the church.
Wow.. Was it a one hand push or two handed full armed shove off push?
 
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TheIndianGirl

Guest
#16
Wow.. Was it a one hand push or two handed full armed shove off push?
One hand push? He tried to make conversation frequently but I started avoiding him, and I think he got the message. I also knew he came to the church to find someone to marry (his sister found someone at the same church).
 
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Scribe

Guest
#17
This can be good advice, depending on the church and depending on the person. I'm a 42 year old guy in a church of about 90, so it doesn't work too well for me... I am NOT dating a teenage woman, and that's all that are available here.
How about visiting a mega church? Before you find fault suggesting that is a carnal reason to go to a church, I would ask that in the context of using digital dating sites or going to a mega church and getting involved in more ministry opportunities and increasing your chances of meeting someone which is more carnal? Or which one sounds like it has a better chance of success and less risk of meeting wierdos and fruitcakes? At least in the mega church you can tell if they are a fruitcake before you ask them on a date.

I don't know. I am just now coming up with this dating advice. It is all just a theory in my head. I don't date and I don't want to. I don't even know why I am in this thread.

I am going to leave now... :censored:
 
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Scribe

Guest
#18
digital age - well email instewd of writing a letter, txt instead of phoning, facebook instead of taking photos and going to get them developed or poloroids.

It may be faster, but the same heartbreaks happen....I would advise dont go on dating sites, free ones are usually overurun by scammers and paid ones probably the same. If you really want to date I would say go find a matchmaker in your family (your favourite aunt perhaps) and say hook me up with someone suitable. It will give her something to do.
That's great. I know some ladies that would love to do that. :LOL:
 
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TheIndianGirl

Guest
#19
How about visiting a mega church?
I am deeply conflicted about this issue and changing churches. I feel I should go to a church with a better dating pool and in general more opportunities to make friends, but I know this is not the ultimate reason to go church. Sometimes I feel going to my church is more like a "duty," because I also volunteer some, and maybe because I don't have a decent social network there (I only have two friends there with whom I hang out with outside church). I've already been committed to my church for seven or so years. Based on my experience, people do not like it when are you visit, or are involved in, multiple churches; they believe, especially the pastor, that you should be entirely focused/committed to your own church.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#20
I am deeply conflicted about this issue and changing churches. I feel I should go to a church with a better dating pool and in general more opportunities to make friends, but I know this is not the ultimate reason to go church. Sometimes I feel going to my church is more like a "duty," because I also volunteer some, and maybe because I don't have a decent social network there (I only have two friends there with whom I hang out with outside church). I've already been committed to my church for seven or so years. Based on my experience, people do not like it when are you visit, or are involved in, multiple churches; they believe, especially the pastor, that you should be entirely focused/committed to your own church.
Perhaps totally committed to serving the Lord but not entirely committed to a church. It would be hard to find a prospective spouse in a church setting with a small pool of members. Chances would be slim to none. You would have a better chance meeting the man of your dreams at your local super Walmart. You might bump into him in the produce section as he is haplessly thumps the honeydews to see which one is ripe.