The world has changed so much since the last time I was in the dating pool. Now it's all apps, websites, social media, profiles, and endless chat. How do you make a real connection with a prospective date in the digital age?
Ok.. sorry for the novel, but i've been thinking about this thread a lot.
How do you u make a real connection with a "prospective" date in the digital age?
This is such a great question!
I personally think that with a lot of wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit, online filtering/connecting BEFORE dating can be a true blessing.
I think that if you are a part of a dating site where your personal information is not available until you choose to reveal it, this can be a great thing. You can really take your time, seriously, take a LOT of time!!!!...and meet some great people. (and some real creepy people too, so yeah, it's an ocean and so you need to be wise for sure!) You can learn a lot about yourself too. It can be a confidence builder as you learn to say no, or "walk away" from unhealthy signs in people before you even THINK of giving someone your e-mail, FB profile name or eventually phone number.... let alone go out with the person.
If you think about what it's like to meet a guy at church.. even if you hang out in groups, there is just that magnetizing thing that can happen for NO good reason. It is so premature, but attraction happens and can be very misleading. I think it can cloud thinking from the very start.
If you end up on a date with this person, #1, it CAN be expensive. (doesn't have to be... but many times, it's an investment in going out). In just a few hours, you've got to decide if you want to keep texting throughout the week, go out again...or NOT...and THEN if not, you have to find a gentle way of saying this, because you will keep seeing the person at church in the weeks to come. Annnnd... if you're toooo gentle they may not get the point.
Plus there is just the MEGA awkward that can be going on. Yeah.
I'm not saying that meeting someone at church is a bad idea, but these are just some things to think about.
IF you get to know someone online? You can really take your time in observing the person. You can see what their behavior patterns are like. You see how pushy they are. Are they patient? How much information do they divulge? Do they seem desperate? Are they always complaining? Do they present with a ton of baggage? Do they get angry easily or seem possessive? Anyone who is wanting an e-mail address or phone number right off the bat is giving you MAJOR warning signs and a lot of information. This is a GREAT thing in my opinion and you can have super great boundaries and sneak out of the interaction quite easily.
You can get so much information with much less awkwardness, if you're really observing the right things.
Then, if you DO want to share your e-mail address/FB profile and eventually phone number, you can continue to have great conversations before you would ever go out.
If you DO end up wanting to meet someone you met online, this may sound old fashioned, but I would have them meet you with your friends in a public place, or have a friend nearby... but keep it in a public place. Have them attend church with you, or go to the zoo, or just do something really low key, so you can continue to let your 'feelers' do their job. Also, rather than having your date pick you up, you can meet each other somewhere. This keeps it low key, keeps it at a slower pace, and keeps you safe.
If this person is really someone that you can see a part of your life potentially, you want to see how they fit into your actual life... (and you in their life). Don't rush anything, and keep healthy boundaries. If someone is your potential 'guy' he will respect you for it. If he doesn't respect you for it, this gives you a lot of great information.
This is just my opinion, hope it may provide helpful pieces in your search for healthy relationships and potential dates.