Born into the wrong family?

I haven't ever really felt that way. I have betimes questioned the "why" though and "what ifs" but family is exceedingly difficult to analyze. There are so many variables. Some changing and some not...pinning any of these variables down and then asking a host of questions expecting answers when the equation of family is consistently evolving seems counterproductive.

I have at least learned that you have choice in interactions and to be mindful of cause and effect.

It does not matter. Every person must ultimately take responsibility for himself or herself (no matter what the family background or circumstances). There are no perfect families, and Christian homes are generally under far greater attack by evil forces than non-Christians.

Perhaps a simple illustration will help...

A boy is subjected to constant bullying, abuse, and humiliation throughout his childhood. That's not from God. After he is saved, he brings his past to God, Who builds compassion in him, and leads him to a career in victim services.

If we attribute the childhood abuse to God, we are calling Him evil, and embracing the idea that the ends justify the means. I see Romans 8:28 as saying that God can use anyone because He can redeem their past, but He is not the author of the junk we endure in life.

I agree, we are responsible for our own, God puts us where he want's us to be, there is no mistake, even if we felt like it, everything happens for a reason beyond our comprehension, and yes I agree, it doesn't matter which family we belong. We just have to look through imperfections and love the unlovable, in whatever situations we are in... we exude love and understanding, that's what Jesus did when he was here. Yes, the more we cling to God and rely on him more, the evil forces becomes greater too, not that we can not overcome it, of course we can and we will, with the help of the Holy Spirit, especially if we "know" and are sensitive with the attack that satan is doing, then we know how to handle our responses and defeat the attack all the more. Life is a series of testings and trials but the most important part of it is yielding to God every single time.

one thing that I sometimes wonder about is Jesus Grandparents. Not much mention made in the Bible although its sort of implied Joseph died young (perhaps in Jesus teens) and he had to make his own way and look after his mother and siblings. Of which there was about four.

from what I know of Jewish families they would have been close but also the girls would have married young and left home. as mostly done in poor families as being female is often seen as a burden and another mouth to feed.