Need some encouragement today

This would be adultery.
Serious words of unbiblical advice. You ought to repent before Him.

No-one is suggesting this man should pursue his wife at this time; only that he waits on the Lord. God is NOT telling this man to move on; since when have you been God's mouth-piece...

O if only God simply told men how to act right towards women every time, I wouldn't be in this situation.

I think those of you who are encouraging him to chase after her, aren't listening to what God is telling you and him.

God is telling you to move on

I have prayed on this thread from the beginning. When I started to see the signs of stalking, I prayed harder. I even cautioned him. Today I know that my advice to him is from God.

I'm sorry that I offended you. I think those of you who are encouraging him to chase after her, aren't listening to what God is telling you and him.

I think you need to look at this relationship for what it is. He is stalking his ex. This activity usually ends up in tragedy.

She is an unbeliever. He doesn't commit adultery when she leaves.

I believe that the scripture addresses his situation as being unequally yoked. If she desires to leave him, and she has, he is to let her go.

Again I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else.

BillyD is right. I supposedly violated the OP 6-7 times. I don't even know what half of them are. The second and subsequent violations are class 4 felonies punishable by 1-3 years in prison. I allegedly texted my wife that I loved her and that was why they arrested me and charged me. The other charges are pending (which I assume means they're being investigated.) She really is trying to destroy my life. I thought she may have just made some rash decisions, but no, this has been well thought out. She posts stuff on her Facebook saying "Love God, love people, and love yourself" all while intentionally destroying my life for no gain and no reason. The court stated I'm to have no contact so I had to tell my pastor I wouldn't be coming back to church because she wants me to be thrown in prison. She lied to DCFS, she lied to the court, she lied to the police, she lies to the church, she lies all the time. Only this time she's lying to ruin my life for good. She must be a psychopath. She cut me off from speaking to her children (my older stepson saw me the other day and told me I wasn't his dad anymore - absolutely heartbreaking), and has completely ignored my 9 year old daughter who called her mom and doesn't speak to her.

The night in jail did it for me. God willing these charges won't be brought against me and I end up in prison.

I do thank you all for your support and prayers. Sadly, we may as well have been praying for satan to repent.

The sacrifices and love I have shown this woman and her children, I don't know what I did to deserve this.

Never mind what she's doing; just pray for her and then leave her to God, period.
Just make sure that you are in right standing before God in all you do. He says do not break the Law of the land.
He also says do not commit adultery, and you would have to be 100% certain she is not a believer to deem yourself free from this marriage otherwise it would be sin.
It seems to me you need to calm down and give this whole situation a lot of time, to know God's leading. Don't do anything rash.

My whole heart and attitude changed after jail. I have no desire to see her or to talk to her while she is doing these things to me and the kids. I still deeply love my wife and stepsons. I have no plans to commit adultery and I've had that conversation with God. At this point though, I feel I have to agree to a divorce in order to keep my house for mine and my daughter's sake.

Yesterday I prayed that God would bless her in every way and I wish no vengeance or ill will towards her. I even prayed that He would restore our marriage. I guess I will get a gold star in Heaven.

My whole heart and attitude changed after jail. I have no desire to see her or to talk to her while she is doing these things to me and the kids. I still deeply love my wife and stepsons. I have no plans to commit adultery and I've had that conversation with God. At this point though, I feel I have to agree to a divorce in order to keep my house for mine and my daughter's sake.

Yesterday I prayed that God would bless her in every way and I wish no vengeance or ill will towards her. I even prayed that He would restore our marriage. I guess I will get a gold star in Heaven.

You are on the right track now. God will open the doors for you that you need to follow. Please put your future in his hands. Pray for his guidance and the wisdom to follow it.

We will pray for you as often as we think of you.

I appreciate your prayers and what you're saying. I just can't fathom how I'm where God wants me to be. If He didn't want me and my wife to be married, why does His word say otherwise?

His wor doesn't. Pray on 1 Corinthians 7:10-15. Consecrate on verse 15. Go in peace brother.

Have you ever cared for a disabled child?

What do you know about having a temper tantrum meltdown when asked to do simple things and it causes you to be late to everything you plan to do?

These are just the tip of the iceberg of daily life for me with my stepson - whom I love dearly. But when you're not on the same page with your spouse in how to deal with these things, it's difficult to navigate life and is the root of a thousand arguments.

I've spent years ministering to some of the most depressed, suicidal, homicidal, and mentally ill people in southern Illinois in the course of doing my job.....
I'm a mental health practitioner by trade and I'm fairly certain in saying she has mental health issues.

Godsgirl83, you're kind of late to the party. My wife refused to acknowledge she did anything wrong. Ever. One time in our marriage did she ever apologize for treating me like crap and that was just to get her way. I was her emotional punching bag for three years. She lied constantly. She projected constantly. When I told her she needed help for mental illness, her retort was that I was crazy. No matter how much I complimented her or loved her or provided or did for her, it was always wrong or never enough. As for my disabled stepson, there is only so much help he can get and he had quite a bit over the course of his life. The rest comes down to consistency in parenting which was one of my biggest causes of anger. She was lazy and didn't want to help with her own children. She came home from work and hardly engaged even if I cleaned and cooked and made plans for family stuff to do. When it came to holding kids accountable, I had to do it and then when the kids complained she always sided with them instead of working with me.

Since she's left, I've been completely gutted heartbroken over the loss of my stepsons as I didn't even get to tell them goodbye. I saw my older stepson and he said (hatefully) "you're not my dad anymore." As for my daughter, my wife never one time has called or reached out to even say hi to her. She called her "mom" because she loved her.

As for me, I'm back in my house and I've been cleaning it for the past 6 days and I'm still cleaning it. They never cleaned it while we were separated. I'm hoping to be done today and have my daughter to start staying with me again. This has been very hard on her.

I decided to agree to my wife's divorce to keep my house and to hopefully help keep me out of jail. It is not at all what I want. I still pray even to this day that God will restore my marriage for His Name's sake. But that's out of my control.

As for tough love. I really don't need it. I've suffered enough. Comfort me with kind words. I've endured the loss of 3/5ths of my family without even getting to tell them goodbye. I lost my job, was homeless, and lost all my stuff and my wife and stepsons over four months. I'm drawing unemployment, going back to school to get a trade certificate starting next week, got my house back, and have my stuff back. But all these things without my family just seems empty right now.

Hey brother...
How God is blessing you right now...
A roof over your head , a home to clean and shine for when your daughter returns , WOW , they are beautiful blessings you are under , kind of like a ground God has given to you for the future plans He has instore for you...

This is the day the LORD has made , let us rejoice and be glad in it..

You will look back on all this hardship one day with tears of joy , when closes one door , He will open another , the part we find hard is the waiting in the hallway...

The devil is going to attack while you are weak , make sure you have your Armor suit on , his evil darts hurt and can floor us , yet Jesus our Lord said He will never blow out a dimly lit candle , nor disregard a broken reed...
...xox...

Godsgirl83, you're kind of late to the party.

As for my disabled stepson, there is only so much help he can get and he had quite a bit over the course of his life. The rest comes down to consistency in parenting which was one of my biggest causes of anger. She was lazy and didn't want to help with her own children. She came home from work and hardly engaged

If you want to encourage me to keep doing the right thing, I'll listen to anything you have to say.

I'm drawing unemployment, going back to school to get a trade certificate starting next week, got my house back, and have my stuff back. But all these things without my family just seems empty right now.

not late to the party, just choose not to respond for the sake of responding.
I won't sugar coat things.

You have had a lot of support and encouragement throughout this thread, that's good.
I have followed this thread from right after you first started it. I've read through the replies and I've had questions of my own that I haven't raised because it's really none of my (or anyone else's) business.
But I have noticed how quick people were to attack when things were questioned......
as though to say "your a bad guy for not patting OP's back and not sugar coating things for him. "
Well heck, guess I fall into the bad guy situation now too. Oh well.
Please understand, my heart always goes out to those in hurting situations,
BUT as the mother of mentally challenged children, AND someone who has been a mandated neglect/abuse reporter, just based off what you have shared, RED FLAGS go way, way up.
Why is someone who says they have background in mental health profession allowing these things to continue?




If she is as "bad" as you are painting her out to be (and I'm in no way judging or pointing fingers or taking sides) then you, having worked in mental health professions, SHOULD know without having to be told that her behaviors toward her own children (not you, not your daughter) ARE sounding like they are boarding child abuse/neglect. I am very much aware of just how much help a disabled child can/can not receive, as well as what it takes for the parents to enforce that. ANY parenting takes consistency, but it is even more important for children with mental health disabilities. If she's not doing that, she is neglecting him. And if you love those boys as much as you say you do, I seriously question why (especially you being someone who has worked in the mental health profession) you are allowing it to continue. Having worked in mental health, you must already know that you can make anonymous reports for neglect and abuse. And based on what you have shared, it really sounds like that might be in the best interest of those boys you love so much.
from your first post:

that is my only intent with my first and now this reply.
What is the right thing for those boys?

I am truly sorry for the hell you have been through these past several months.
It truly takes someone outstanding to step up and fulfill the role of parent to another persons children.
As these boys grow and reflect back on life I hope they come to realize and appreciate that about you.


Moving forward, I pray you find renewed strength and joy again.
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;


This is a great, exciting start start. And your daughter will get to be blessed by this fresh new start too.