Hey Everyone,
I love the banter people have going on here and hope it will keep going.
I'm sorry to interrupt the fun with a bout of seriousness, but I felt a need to say this.
I've been on the forum since 2009 and there has always been a sense of, "Oh, those heathen singles, they always talk about dating, they never talk about God." This is the long-standing and most likely permanent view of the Single's forum, from what I've observed.
I can't speak for anyone else, but from my own perspective, most Christian singles are looking to get married, so that's what the majority of the threads I come up with are about -- how to prepare ourselves in a Godly way to date and go about looking for the spouse God may or may not have for us.
Every now and then I like to toss in a few frivolous threads like this for fun.
But the real issues on my heart is how singles, whether looking to get married, or looking to stay single, can improve both their walk with God and their inner selves while living fulfilling, God-pleasing lives. How do we not succumb to loneliness or isolation, and stay on our God-given paths?
I always feel like God is calling me to talk to people about the things they are trying to heal from, specifically neglect, abuse, and abandonment.
For instance, I talk to lots of people who wind up in situations such as a young woman who hated it when her boyfriend would randomly hug her out of the blue, because someone from her past would go from hugging her to choking her.
Or some married couples who have problems because of childhood sexual abuse both or either of them went through, and even though they "were good" and "followed all the rules" by waiting, now that they are married, they're finding out that their personal life together is not working because these past issues are causing big problems.
My frame of mind is, "God, how can we work on these kinds of things within ourselves as individuals, so that we can be healed and whole (as much as He allows within this lifetime,) whether with someone or on our own?" These are the actual topics I would love to write threads about: asking married people if getting married cured their porn/sex addictions (since singles are always told to get married as an answer to those problems,) and if not, why, and what can the body of Christ do better to conquer these types of problems?
How can singles heal from past abuse and trauma BEFORE they try to get into a permanent union with someone else who has their own set of issues?
So yes, I tend to write a lot of threads about dating, relationships, and the things we singles encounter along the way. I usually don't actually write about the topics I'm actually most interested in because I know they would probably be too heavy or personal. And I've also felt lately that God has been wanting me to work on some of my own personal relationships (family and friends) before spending as much time on the forum as I used to.
The great thing about the Singles forum is that there is plenty of room for singles from all walks of life, whether wanting to stay single, or wanting to get married.
The only time I would protest to anyone is if they tried to tell me that my choices (if I truly believed they were from God) regarding dating or staying single were wrong because they wanted me to be like them.
I actually think this is a big mistake I've made throughout my own life -- trying to be like other people I thought God wanted me to be more like.
One of the things I'm learning for myself is that... God wants me, to be me!
(Why does it feel like such a surprise sometimes...) I know another thing I have felt very called to my entire life is to try to bring people together when I can, and try to introduce people to each other who might be able to help one another. In fact, I often feel like something's missing if I'm not trying to get people to talk to each other, when possible. Some see this as matchmaking, but my intent behind it is for basic friendships to form. If God wants to call people further into relationships and marriage, let His will be done!
Thanks to everyone who has/is contributing here, and I hope it will continue.