HELP NEEDED: LET'S MAKE THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL THREAD IN THE WORLD!!!

I can only eat margarine
It's all I can do
Cause I can't stand butter
I prefer the substitute
I can only eat margarine
Yeeeaaaaah

Surrounded by some biscuits
Or on a piece of bread
Or on top of a cheez-it
It's an artificial spread
Oh I've just got to have it
I eat it on all my grub
And sometimes I get a spoon and
I eat it right out of the plastic tub
I can only eat margarine

- Tim Hawkins

I was in my "prayer closet" this morning.
Praying through Matthew 6.
When I got to verse 11, something different happened to me that's never happened before........
"Give us this day our daily BREAD......"
and I thought hmmm I really wonder what it will be today?
When I finished my prayer (which was hard to do because at this point all I could think on was what today's daily bread might consist of..... whole wheat, honey wheat, oatnut, white, 7 grain, 12 grain, rye. Oh, which one did we buy yesterday?)
I went down to the kitchen to make some toast......
seeing as how the ONLY butter in MY HOUSE is (the TRUE, PURE, REAL, AUTHENTIC, kind - none of that WATERED DOWN, marginalized, 50/50 mix stuff for me; I am after all, in "Dairy Land" USA)
a solid brick in the fridge, and my tummy was growling to get something quick, I decided to skip the butter today (as well as forgo the age old debate of whether to butter the top or bottom of my toast)
and opted for one slice with peanut butter (creamy with honey..... after all is there any other kind?)
and sliced bananas.
The other slice with mashed up avocado.
Well, that only got me thinking of how it is JUST THAT. An avocado that is smashed up.
(Can you believe some places- like Subway Sandwich Shop- call this guacamole???? I mean there is NOTHING added to it??? it is PLAINLY smashed up avocado. And I can't help but wonder and debate with myself just what makes an avocado become guacamole? )



(of course, I'm playing @seoulsearch thread idea and just teasing/joking with these thoughts...... and once again checking CC BEFORE breakfast has made me hungry, lol)

Yeah, gee, I wonder who's fault THAT is. Again.

By the way, if we want to make it REALLY controversial we must discuss whether the covid vaccine tastes good on toast. We also must discuss proper mask etiquette while eating your vaccine-on-toast.

Are you kidding.

What I'm REALLY shocked about -- is that no one has asked if the toast is gluten-free.

That's a millennial thing. Let the kids argue that.

My humor is like a one-hit wonder tune on the radio that you try your hardest to resist, but eventually it burrows in and becomes an earworm you just can't get rid of. Thank you, @Godsgirl83 , for confirming that!

Pity my poor parents -- they had no idea what they were in for.

I also feel that I should clarify that I usually never use the "dislike," "disagree", or "angry" emoji's -- unless friends here who have known me a while are picking on me, and I am just vehemently protesting their most unfair assessments.

I just didn't want any of our newer friends here to be afraid to come in and post something because they fear getting a "negative" reaction emoji.

Don't worry.

I save all of that for my friends.

You saying this thread is toast?😁

I do wish though that there were a reaction that combined because it is HARD sometimes to pick just ONE.......

Gluten-free did come under consideration for me yesterday as I was contemplating this thread...

Many moons ago if you were gluten intolerant, you pretty much had to make your own bread, and it was ghastly

Now-a-days, gluten-free choices for breads, desserts, and other edibles are ubiquitous

For the most part, I avoid them

Some things, like lemon flavored macaroons? I have a package of those right now

Though coconut has always been gluten free LOL

Well, that's a wrap.

I think this thread needs a ROFL rating.😂

I know we're trying to make this a mock BDF style thing here, but it's so HARD NOT TO LAUGH in all the reactions.......

Or a toast trap

WHICH kind?

lettuce wrap?
fish wrap?
Veggie wrap?
tortilla?

oh no!
Not those!
You'll get the "toots" if you eat those......




(though that's never stopped me from consuming a good burrito )

Gee thanks.

I have not seen sprouted grain breads mentioned yet

Apparently, such breads contain 47% less gluten than regular bread.

Sprouting breaks down the lectins and other substances that some may be sensitive or allergic to.

There is also Ezekiel bread, which is flourless = made from sprouted grains. It’s named after the Old Testament verse Ezekiel 4:9, which reads: “Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself…”

It is prolly not cooked over a dung fire any more, though

It is said to be a complete source of plant protein, containing all the essential amino acids your body needs.

They make cereals, and English muffins too

You know, the funny thing is, I WASN'T EVEN thinking of the BDF when I wrote this.

I didn't have to.

Rather, I was thinking about all the world events going on and how I've lost a few friends over differing views (because of the militant way people have tried to convert others to one way of thinking or the other, then condemn everyone else as not being a Christian when they aren't swayed,) and to be honest, it's all made me very sad and depressed.

Sarcasm is one of my most-utilized coping mechanisms (as if you couldn't tell,) and my favorite form of humor is parodies. So it just seemed natural to write a parody of what happens whenever people try to discuss virtually anything these days.

Sorry for the serious moment.

Now back to the jokes!