Feeling in despair

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PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,584
9,104
113
#41
I'm panicking all of the time, I feel so unworthy
It’s going to be ok.

Your Heavenly Father can’t keep His eyes off His little girl!

He does NOT want you to live and feel this way. Carrying regret and pain.

Understand it is the enemy of your soul that continuously whispers, or even shouts, that you are unworthy of Jesus’s Love.

Meditate on this Scripture sister. You are NOT alone.

Luke 7

A Sinful Woman Forgiven
36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”

So he said, “Teacher, say it.”

41 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred (AJ)denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”

43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”

And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

50 Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
 

Lost

New member
Jul 23, 2021
25
19
3
#43
Thank you. This means so much. My children have seen and heard me struggling. I feel so guilty I've put my worries and despair upon them. I'm not a good mum at all. I'm sick of making mistakes. I'm trying to stop sinning but finding it so so hard
 
Jul 28, 2021
1,226
406
83
#44
I had a lot of issues growing up with my mental health when I was a child. I had to put things in certain ways otherwise thoughts came into my head that something bad would happen to my family and it would be all my fault. I was detached at school and used to think what I had done to deserve the illness I had and I just couldn't seem to fit in.
I grew up a rebel of a teenager disrespecting my parents, drinking, taking drugs when clubbing, I also had 2 abortions when I was younger which I truly regret now.
I met a man in my mid 20's, he was nice at first, we got married then the abuse started. I wasn't easy to live with to be honest but he wasn't a very nice person. He was abusive. We had children and I was a great mother at first but the atmosphere in the house with my husband was awful. He didn't help that much with the children at all. There were domestic incidents with him. I found out one day when I was pregnant with my third child that the police had been looking for my ex husband for 10 years as he was accused of sexually abusing children. He convinced me that he didn't do it and I stuck by the monster for a while I just felt so low and controlled, he kept saying he would get the kids taken off me. How could I have done this how could I have stuck by him??? I did eventually leave him before his court case and luckily he was convicted. I was left with scars so emotionally deep from everything that I started drinking more and more and neglected the emotional needs of my children. I was drunk every night selfishly trying to block the pain out I was horrible and have scarred my amazing children in the process. They don't deserve a mother like me.
I then went on to meet an amazing man who took me, my problems and my children on. I was still drinking though, I couldn't face the person I was so I drowned myself in drink. I even drank when I was pregnant with my fourth child. I'm so so selfish. I got so drunk on occasion that I used to go out and cheated on my amazing partner. I had that much drink I didnt know what I was doing and the guilt after was immense, still is. I am so so evil for hurting my family like this. I remember when my lovely nanna was dying and myself and my mum and sister stayed with her with hardly any sleep for 7 days. I had evil thoughts about my nan on her deathbed with my thoughts calling her names. They were unwanted thoughts but I cannot forgive myself for this either. I get these unwanted thoughts a lot. I have got better over the years and started going to church. I promised God loads of times I wouldn't drink and kept on doing it just not as much even though I know it hurt my family. I've put alcohol and myself before God and my family and it's caused so much damage. I know God has given me loads of chances but ive let him down. I had a vision a few years ago telling me I would get ill like this ans I was going to hell
My doctors think I have motor neurone disease so I'm terminal and deteriorating fast. I feel like I deserve this death, I'm not worth it. Ive not lived in Gods ways and I cannot seem to accept Jesus' forgiveness no matter how hard I try, I just feel so worthless and defeated. I have stopped drinking now but I should have done this for God and my family way before. I should have done the right thing ages ago and now it's too late.
Now my family are going to suffer even more as they will grieve for me. I want to be a good person and I want Jesus' forgiveness. I'm just a horrible horrible person. I feel so bad after everything I've done. Please forgive me Lord 💔💔💔
We are all awful and horrible. Every single one of us. You are not worse than anyone, regardless of what someone else's life may look like to you. We are all equally rotten. This is why Jesus suffered and died. Because we are wicked and need someone to cover us so that we are accepted by God. I believe that guilt is a result of believing we are actually good people.. or at least should be.. and are so surprised when we are not. Nobody is good. Not even one.
 

Lost

New member
Jul 23, 2021
25
19
3
#45
I had a drink yesterday after promising god I wouldn't. I knew it was wrong but I still did it. I just can't stop sinning. Please help
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
9,219
4,755
113
#46
"We have to be willing to change, and trying to go alone seldom works.
I learned long time ago, I needed help. Over two decades ago, I needed help.
I now know, by the grace of God, a support group, a sponsor, and God became
an important part of my life. I made a decision to turn my life over to a Higher Power,
that being the inspiration of God's love, wisdom and the Holy Spirit, and for this
I am grateful.
I hope you find what is needed in your life."


330px-UNKNOWN_MEDALLION_-_POSSIBLY_AADAC_or_NA_b_-_Flickr_-_woody1778a.jpg :)
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,584
9,104
113
#47
I had a drink yesterday after promising god I wouldn't. I knew it was wrong but I still did it. I just can't stop sinning. Please help
A ship capsizes in icy waters. Hundreds of people go in the water. Many hours later a rescue boat appears.

The rescuers see most floating still, eyes open, no movement at all. But a few are shouting, making noises, struggling for breath, flailing around.

Which group of people are alive?

As God’s Children we can at times be like those that struggle, flail around, and shout for help.

It means we are alive!
Confess your sin. Believe He has forgiven it. The next time you struggle, call out to Jesus to give you the power you already possess with the Holy Spirit in you to deny the temptation.


Proverbs 24:16
New King James Version

16 For a righteous man may fall seven times
And rise again,
But the wicked shall fall by calamity.

When you no longer get up, or care about your sin is when you will be in true trouble.


 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
3,757
4,120
113
63
#48
A ship capsizes in icy waters. Hundreds of people go in the water. Many hours later a rescue boat appears.

The rescuers see most floating still, eyes open, no movement at all. But a few are shouting, making noises, struggling for breath, flailing around.

Which group of people are alive?

As God’s Children we can at times be like those that struggle, flail around, and shout for help.

It means we are alive!
Confess your sin. Believe He has forgiven it. The next time you struggle, call out to Jesus to give you the power you already possess with the Holy Spirit in you to deny the temptation.


Proverbs 24:16
New King James Version

16 For a righteous man may fall seven times
And rise again,
But the wicked shall fall by calamity.

When you no longer get up, or care about your sin is when you will be in true trouble.


@PennEd ...
This video is blocked for me , not sure if it is the same for others...
...xox...
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,184
29,488
113
#51

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#52
I had a lot of issues growing up with my mental health when I was a child. I had to put things in certain ways otherwise thoughts came into my head that something bad would happen to my family and it would be all my fault. I was detached at school and used to think what I had done to deserve the illness I had and I just couldn't seem to fit in.
I grew up a rebel of a teenager disrespecting my parents, drinking, taking drugs when clubbing, I also had 2 abortions when I was younger which I truly regret now.
I met a man in my mid 20's, he was nice at first, we got married then the abuse started. I wasn't easy to live with to be honest but he wasn't a very nice person. He was abusive. We had children and I was a great mother at first but the atmosphere in the house with my husband was awful. He didn't help that much with the children at all. There were domestic incidents with him. I found out one day when I was pregnant with my third child that the police had been looking for my ex husband for 10 years as he was accused of sexually abusing children. He convinced me that he didn't do it and I stuck by the monster for a while I just felt so low and controlled, he kept saying he would get the kids taken off me. How could I have done this how could I have stuck by him??? I did eventually leave him before his court case and luckily he was convicted. I was left with scars so emotionally deep from everything that I started drinking more and more and neglected the emotional needs of my children. I was drunk every night selfishly trying to block the pain out I was horrible and have scarred my amazing children in the process. They don't deserve a mother like me.
I then went on to meet an amazing man who took me, my problems and my children on. I was still drinking though, I couldn't face the person I was so I drowned myself in drink. I even drank when I was pregnant with my fourth child. I'm so so selfish. I got so drunk on occasion that I used to go out and cheated on my amazing partner. I had that much drink I didnt know what I was doing and the guilt after was immense, still is. I am so so evil for hurting my family like this. I remember when my lovely nanna was dying and myself and my mum and sister stayed with her with hardly any sleep for 7 days. I had evil thoughts about my nan on her deathbed with my thoughts calling her names. They were unwanted thoughts but I cannot forgive myself for this either. I get these unwanted thoughts a lot. I have got better over the years and started going to church. I promised God loads of times I wouldn't drink and kept on doing it just not as much even though I know it hurt my family. I've put alcohol and myself before God and my family and it's caused so much damage. I know God has given me loads of chances but ive let him down. I had a vision a few years ago telling me I would get ill like this ans I was going to hell
My doctors think I have motor neurone disease so I'm terminal and deteriorating fast. I feel like I deserve this death, I'm not worth it. Ive not lived in Gods ways and I cannot seem to accept Jesus' forgiveness no matter how hard I try, I just feel so worthless and defeated. I have stopped drinking now but I should have done this for God and my family way before. I should have done the right thing ages ago and now it's too late.
Now my family are going to suffer even more as they will grieve for me. I want to be a good person and I want Jesus' forgiveness. I'm just a horrible horrible person. I feel so bad after everything I've done. Please forgive me Lord 💔💔💔
Amazing and common story. So much to put into a few neat words. Very kind of u to share. I feel less alone with my mistakes and pains. Did writing help u? Im hoping that talking will heal me some.
 
Aug 4, 2021
586
185
43
#55
Here if you need to talk
Your story do have some similarities with my life, if you need someone in a similar situation to talk to. Who just became christian, and can rationalize some stuff for you, so you do not feel so lost and unworthy of grace/salvation. And perhaps makes you sort out some stuff with your surroundings, especially your kids. I sense that there is a wall between your kids and you, because you cannot feel worthy of heaven. And a wall between you and God, because you feel it is too late to sort stuff out with your surroundings. I will check back later, if you want to PM.
 
Aug 4, 2021
586
185
43
#57
Here if you need to talk
I am not a paying member, if you really need to talk to someone in private, and want something shared with a total stranger in private, you must PM me, or ask me to pay for a membership and do it. Or you have to continue it here in the øublic thread. I saw you reacted to my post, so just wanted to tell you I am here now, if you want to talk. Will be here several hours. And the reprobate or whatever the word was that you used to describe yourself, do not worry. Jesus chose reprobates as company, so not an issue as far as I understand. Everybody is worthy if their heart is changed. Came for the sinners, not the perfect ones. If you were perfect, you would have pride, and not pray at all. Your sense of a little despair, is your ticket to heaven. Hope you are doing better. Will pray for you when/if I start doing that.
 

Lost

New member
Jul 23, 2021
25
19
3
#58
I am not a paying member, if you really need to talk to someone in private, and want something shared with a total stranger in private, you must PM me, or ask me to pay for a membership and do it. Or you have to continue it here in the øublic thread. I saw you reacted to my post, so just wanted to tell you I am here now, if you want to talk. Will be here several hours. And the reprobate or whatever the word was that you used to describe yourself, do not worry. Jesus chose reprobates as company, so not an issue as far as I understand. Everybody is worthy if their heart is changed. Came for the sinners, not the perfect ones. If you were perfect, you would have pride, and not pray at all. Your sense of a little despair, is your ticket to heaven. Hope you are doing better. Will pray for you when/if I start doing that.
 

Lost

New member
Jul 23, 2021
25
19
3
#59
Thank you for this. I can't seem to change my heart no matter how hard I try. I just think I'm a horrible and selfish person who doesn't have a heart. I've been praying to God to help me become a better person and the person he wants me to be but nothing is working at all. I'm so lost. I'm terminally ill. I cannot find peace. All I have is despair 💔😭
 

Lost

New member
Jul 23, 2021
25
19
3
#60
I'm going to die in despair leaving my family behind with so much pain I have caused them