What is a Gentleman?

Can men in the forum answer this I want to know

What you think a 'gentleman' is?

Is it different to just being an ordinary man? If so, what qualities do you need to have. Is it necessary?

gentleman
/ˈdʒɛnt(ə)lmən/


noun

1. a chivalrous, courteous, or honourable man.
   "he behaved throughout like a perfect gentleman"
   • 
     
2. a polite or formal way of referring to a man.
   "opposite her an old gentleman sat reading"

All 'ordinary' men can display the characteristics from no.1. I said display because man's heart is not honourable. It needs renewed and even then..well lets just say we are all a work in progress.. but one day!

In times gone by the title 'gentleman' was only applied to those of a certain station. As the dictionary says a man of noble birth.

I would say the characteristics themselves are good, if we all behaved that way (all the time) things might be a bit more pleasant. But, as we know pride and self interest will never allow it.

@phil36 estimation.

Ones view of another would certainly be an estimation. Is it possible to truly know the real inclinations and maginations of a particular person? We can only observe the outward actions and communicated thought?


Tourist, its too late for me to be thinking... Its near time for bed and my brains starting to hurt lol. And I even managed to type this on my phone... Things are looking up 📱😅

Getting older, I usually look forward to bed time. Keep looking up.

I've been thinking about this all evening. I'm not really sure my answer is a answer but...

If he is married, does his wife and kids (if there are kids) look forward to him being home or do they dread or feel indifferent about his presence?

Is he viewed as a asset or a liability at his business or place of employment?

Are his friends glad to have him around? I ask this not because he is the life of the party, but is his presence there truly wanted?

At church, is he missed it he's not there? Are the people he fellowships with interested in what he might have to say on a particular subject?

I'm sure there is more to add here. It's what I can think of at the moment. I'm not really sure it's the answer but maybe it might help generate what that answer is.

You know somebody is a gentleman when what he can do matters less, what he should do matters more, and what would be helpful to do matters most.

If a gentleman drives a truck, he WILL be willing to help you move.

You know somebody is a gentleman when "me" matters less to him and "us" matters more.

A gentleman is a somewhat like a hero or an angel in disguise.

The term "gentleman" is nebulous, and typically means something specific to the one who employs it, while not necessarily meaning the same thing to others who hear it. Context is used to nuance the meaning. For example, the phrase used above, "An old gentleman" would mean to most hearers a quiet elderly man who is kind in his dealings with others. His manner may be quiet different to the male described as "a young gentleman", which for me at least describes a late-teen to early-20's eager but respectful and well-mannered man.

To a woman looking for a mate (or her mother!), "gentleman" might mean someone who holds the door, pays for the meal without question, and doesn't even hint at off-colour humour or sexual innuendo.

To someone from the American South, "gentleman" might mean a person who embodies the "Southern" charm and manners, but a person from another region, though equally gracious, might not earn that description. (When was the last time you heard anyone referred to as a "Northern gentleman"?)

To a culture snob, "gentleman" might mean a relatively wealthy fellow who wears bespoke clothes and drives a European sedan, but who may be a complete jackdonkey to those he considers socially inferior.

I would suggest that, if one is using "gentleman" as a key term, that the context and/or description is provided so that others understand its meaning. Otherwise, one's hearers will apply their own understanding, and communication may be futile.

(The following should be read aloud with a General Beauregard voice)
Well sir, there might, I say there might be a good reason for that. The reason being that none 'a them durn yankees quite measure up to the genteel manners of us Suthern gentlemen.

hmmm interesting
I thought it had something to do with being gentle! Which is one of the fruits of the holy spirit btw.

Gentleness

A gentleman in a classic sense is man of virtue. That means someone upright and orderly in their behavior, sober, and reflective. This makes him a natural leader.

I hasten to add he must be cultivated by education. By that I don't mean a degree necessarily (there are unlettered gentlemen), but he must have a sufficient interaction with perennial wisdom.

Hmmm...a godly gentleman you mean...? He loves God with all his heart and seeks to obey Him in every area of his life... A man who knows that he is not perfect but strive to be better, he leads by example, humble,kind,gentle,caring and loving ❤

That is the wonderful thing about being a Christian man. The Bible is wholly sufficient to make one a gentleman if he studies and lives by it earnestly.

I was kinda hoping more men would reply but thats ok, what women think gentlemen. are is edifying too.

I do think the Bible has sufficient wisdom for a man to live by and he may become a gentleman if he takes it to heart, but I suppose that would have to start when he is young, even as a boy.


Some people think gentlemen are born not made (or of 'noble' birth) ...in britain its men who owned land or inherited it, they call the class of people 'the landed gentry' and talk about 'gentrification' though in other places thats a derogatory term to talk about people bought the land and made it more expensive to live there.

Though a gentleman probably wouldnt need even to buy land in the first place, it would be just given to him. A gentleman isnt greedy.

They would submit it's both nature and nurture. You're born into a noble family, but also given a noble's education where you are taught how to conduct yourself as a nobleman.

Depends on the situation. If in dating relationship, opens doors, pay for meals, walk you to your door, etc.

I dont think I have everr met one...you describe maybe its an olden-day thing

now there are sliding doors, and the most men might pay for is a drink. And they generally dont come out of the car to walk you to your door, because they may get some parking fine.

I think the reason why a lot of women looked really skinny was because the men never fed them a proper meal on dates.

Though I am equally horrified that some women deliberately starve themselves for men. In what crazy upside down world do they do that?!

hmm they dont seem to exist in books

I read a chicklit which is supposed to always end happily ever after with the gal always getting the guy

but this is how men behave instead in these novels

-stalks ex
-dumps wife cos shes manic depressive and on drugs
-hooks up with ex-stepmother
-gets into fights
-gets married but oblivious to fiance starving herself to fit into wedding dress