Does "I Love You" Feel the Same in Every Language?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,525
5,461
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

I was talking about this with a friend earlier this week. I have a few friends and family who are multilingual (speak more than one language,) and I was wondering:

1. If someone says, "I love you" to you in your native language, does it feel different than when someone says it to you in another language you speak?

* For example, if your mother tongue is Spanish, and someone says "I love you" in Spanish, does it feel different from someone telling you "I love you" in English?

* How does it feel different?


2. Let's say your native language is French (just as an example,) but you also speak English, and your significant other speaks English but not French.

* Would you prefer that your English-speaking significant other tell you they love you in English (the language you both speak,) or learn to say it in French (or whatever your native language is?)

* Why or why not?

3. Do YOU prefer to tell OTHER people you love them in your native language, in your common language (that you both speak,) or if your significant other knew another language you didn't know, would you prefer to learn how to say it to them in THAT language instead?

* Why or why not?


This utterly fascinates me.

For instance, if someone whose native language is Japanese, does it "feel" any different to them if someone says "I love you" in Japanese vs. "I love you" in English? (Assuming the parties involved both spoke English?)

I'm assuming it does. But I'm wondering if people can describe exactly why.

They say that love is a universal language.

But how differently does love feel when someone tells you they love you in another language?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,429
9,411
113
#4
As long as I understand what they mean, words in one language feel the same to me as the equivalents in another language.

However...


When we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,419
113
#6
Hey Everyone,

I was talking about this with a friend earlier this week. I have a few friends and family who are multilingual (speak more than one language,) and I was wondering:

1. If someone says, "I love you" to you in your native language, does it feel different than when someone says it to you in another language you speak?

* For example, if your mother tongue is Spanish, and someone says "I love you" in Spanish, does it feel different from someone telling you "I love you" in English?

* How does it feel different?


2. Let's say your native language is French (just as an example,) but you also speak English, and your significant other speaks English but not French.

* Would you prefer that your English-speaking significant other tell you they love you in English (the language you both speak,) or learn to say it in French (or whatever your native language is?)

* Why or why not?

3. Do YOU prefer to tell OTHER people you love them in your native language, in your common language (that you both speak,) or if your significant other knew another language you didn't know, would you prefer to learn how to say it to them in THAT language instead?

* Why or why not?


This utterly fascinates me.

For instance, if someone whose native language is Japanese, does it "feel" any different to them if someone says "I love you" in Japanese vs. "I love you" in English? (Assuming the parties involved both spoke English?)

I'm assuming it does. But I'm wondering if people can describe exactly why.

They say that love is a universal language.

But how differently does love feel when someone tells you they love you in another language?
Oh boy it's time for funny language stories with cinder. But first the answer in brief is yes it makes a difference for most people when something is spoken in their native language, so much so that missionaries (especially those involved in Bible translation work) have started talking about putting the Bible into people's heart language rather than their native language. Some of that might be because the words we've learned to describe our emotions (and therefore how we can think about and categorize our emotions) are defined by our native language. One example I heard of was about the word surprised and how in the Bible Jacob was surprised to learn that Joseph was still alive. In English we don't have too many words that convey the difference between the good happy kind of surprised and the bad angry kind of surprised, but in the language they were translating the story into the words were very specific and they chose the wrong word for surprise in the story. Another example would be the difference between no and not yet, and in the one language I've learned to say no was to preclude all possibility of it in the future but to say not yet implied that I still hope it happens in the future (most often as related to the question of "Are you married"?)

My own experience supports the significance of hearing something in your native language in comments about my weight overseas (some days you're really glad that the words don't have as strong an emotional impact) but a happier story is on the day I moved out of my apartment overseas the Landlord's mother (who lived with him on the top floor of the building) had taken the time to learn to say I love cinder in English. That meant a lot and made me feel like crying. And part of the value of it is the effort you know it took for her to say that and that she wanted to do all that work and part of that is hearing it in your own language.

So if I were ever in a relationship with someone who had a different heart language, I would absolutely put in the effort to learn to say a few meaningful things like I love you in his language. Not just so I can say it to him but so that I can understand what he's trying to express if/when he ever says such things to me. And we'd probably just speak our affection in a crazy multi lingual mix of expression but that's fine because it's for us and we understand. Or maybe we'll just come up with out own way of saying I love you altogether.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#7
um

well in chinese 'I love you' is 'ngoh ngoy le' which can translate literally as 'I want you' lol. and 'want' may means something else in english haha

In maori the word 'aroha' is used as love which is actually more similar to the greek 'agape' or unconditional love than english, which often does not differentiate between 'like' and 'love' or love between different people, objects, and feelings.

French has aimer meaning love or to like
but they also have adorer...which also means to love or to adore...but in english, people dont go round saying 'I adore you' or 'I worship you' lol
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,429
9,411
113
#8
French has aimer meaning love or to like
but they also have adorer...which also means to love or to adore...but in english, people dont go round saying 'I adore you' or 'I worship you' lol
Well some guys actually do go around saying that... :sneaky:

Yeah, I don't understand them either.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#9
Love is feeling beyond words that is so deep inside you don't actually need to say it.
the other person and hear it despite being thousands of miles away
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#10
Love is feeling beyond words that is so deep inside you don't actually need to say it.
the other person and hear it despite being thousands of miles away
Its a word used too often. I haven't used it in a decade. It's not for saying, its for knowing and feeling. Imho
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#11
The threshold is higher in the Anglosphere. I've dated girls from Latin America and Eastern Europe who were way quicker to say it than their English-speaking counter-parts.

Maybe it isn't because love feels different to them so much as love comes easier. I don't know. Something to think about.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#12
For me, I think it comes down to:

1. Understanding the significant others culture or their understanding of how they perceive what “I love you” means to them.

2. Acknowledging that not all countries or cultures are the same and there will be differences in what ILY means.

3. I am bilingual and I would say that in my native language, saying ILY is way formal than expressing it, I think someone already mentioned something about feeling it and not having to say it - which I somewhat agree, however if we take into account the 5 love languages, one of them being words of affirmation meaning some people prefer to hear than being expressed affectionately.

Hope you are well Seoul! :)
 

Dee77

New member
Oct 12, 2021
9
8
3
#13
Hey Everyone,

I was talking about this with a friend earlier this week. I have a few friends and family who are multilingual (speak more than one language,) and I was wondering:

1. If someone says, "I love you" to you in your native language, does it feel different than when someone says it to you in another language you speak?

* For example, if your mother tongue is Spanish, and someone says "I love you" in Spanish, does it feel different from someone telling you "I love you" in English?

* How does it feel different?


2. Let's say your native language is French (just as an example,) but you also speak English, and your significant other speaks English but not French.

* Would you prefer that your English-speaking significant other tell you they love you in English (the language you both speak,) or learn to say it in French (or whatever your native language is?)

* Why or why not?

3. Do YOU prefer to tell OTHER people you love them in your native language, in your common language (that you both speak,) or if your significant other knew another language you didn't know, would you prefer to learn how to say it to them in THAT language instead?

* Why or why not?


This utterly fascinates me.

For instance, if someone whose native language is Japanese, does it "feel" any different to them if someone says "I love you" in Japanese vs. "I love you" in English? (Assuming the parties involved both spoke English?)

I'm assuming it does. But I'm wondering if people can describe exactly why.

They say that love is a universal language.

But how differently does love feel when someone tells you they love you in another language?
I love you in Japanese is too direct. My sensei told me that if a husband tells hie wife I love you, she will think he’s having an affair, or that he is contemplating suicide.
 
Oct 1, 2021
27
21
3
#14
Personally for me, I think saying "I love you" out loud kind of ruins the moment. Let's sit on the porch together as night falls. Let's go exploring in the woods, you can lead. Let's go for a ride at night with the windows down and listen to music. Let's watch the sky for a while. Then, no one needs to say "I love you" because we both know already, and to me that's the most romantic. In the case I can't contain my joy, I'd probably tremble and not be able to form words anyway.
Just the way I am.