Do Support Groups and Resources Really Help, or Do They Just Make People Worse?

I went out with someone four times, I was deeply hurt when it ended. How do you survive losing a spouse?

One minute, one breath at a time. Its been just over 2 years now and I still feel like I'm missing half of me. I'm quite busy these days but when I'm home alone in the evening, I still feel the emptiness of not having my best friend.

Hey Everyone,

I've been wondering about this for a while. Here in the Singles Forum, we often talk about the ways we try to work on ourselves before meeting the right person.

Since I often start discussions about what people may be struggling with, I've always felt it was only fair to be transparent about my own struggles. All my life, I have pretty much always fought with disordered eating. I've never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder because the doctors said my symptoms weren't "bad enough," or at least don't meet the standards it apparently takes to have a "full-blown" "condition."

Over the years, I have sought several paths to stay focused and healthy, and for a while I was researching internet resources that focused on disordered eating. I was basically looking for online communities that talk about the issues at hand and support each other regularly.

What I found instead (at least in my opinion) was a cesspool of communities devoted to not only perpetrating the disordered behavior, but also pushing its participants to become more and more dangerously emaciated. For instance, the anorexia and bulimia "help" groups that punished members for eating more than 500 calories a day, required regular weigh-ins, and blocked anyone who wasn't losing weight or losing it fast enough.

Even worse, members talked about all their "tricks" for reducing hunger, minimizing calorie intake, and the "most effective" means of purging if you actually happened to eat something.

Even on legit channels for things like the keto diet, the channel host was high-fiving people in the livestream who said they had gone 5 days without food.

Now I am not trying to knock any kind of diet anyone might have found that works for them, as I do think that nutrition is highly individual, but the disturbing thing to me about trends such as intermittent fasting is that no one is talking about the fact that those with disordered eating will use this to hide the fact that they are starving themselves. It's even worse when you put a religious spin on it.

A while back, I was going through an extremely rough time and thought to myself, "What better time to fast and pray, as that's what we're always told to do!" I would go without eating until about 5 PM everyday, then have some kind of small scraps of food. I kept telling myself that I was "getting closer to God." After a few weeks, I believe the Holy Spirit clearly said to me, "(Seoul,) you. are. starving. yourself," and, out of conviction, I had to quit.

What I'm trying to say is that I found most "support" places to be a lot like the American prison system -- just as a criminal learns to become a better or more sophisticated criminal in prison, someone like me only learned more destructive habits from such groups, even if that wasn't the intention.

And so I was wondering, is it like this for others as well?

* For anyone who struggles with something, particular addictions: drugs, alcohol, nicotine, shopping, gambling, video games -- do you find that "support" resources really help -- or does it just mean finding new ways of supporting your addiction?

* Do you go to places or resources hoping to find plans for recovery, but really only learn other ways to continue (or worsen) your behavior?

* If so, what real help is out there, and do you have any suggestions as to where to find it? What has and has not worked for you, and what would you suggest for others?

As a single Christian who often talks with other single Christians about what we must do to prepare ourselves to meet a future spouse, I am very interested in how other people are coping, or better yet, improving with their issues, and I am hoping that people will share some things that have really worked.

Thank you very much for your testimony and time -- looking forward to hearing from you!

Hi Seoul. I find your post interesting and have been disappointed by chat groups that I have looked into.
I don’t chat often but find that I want to share my heart with people who might understand my struggles.

My prayer is that this group will be different. How long have you been involved here? Have you made friends? Have you been encouraged?

Dee77

Hi Seoul. I find your post interesting and have been disappointed by chat groups that I have looked into.
I don’t chat often but find that I want to share my heart with people who might understand my struggles.

My prayer is that this group will be different. How long have you been involved here? Have you made friends? Have you been encouraged?

Dee77