I’m over 40, still a Virgin and scared of intercourse still

There are other probable alternatives.

1. Lesbianism is historically less common than other brands of sexual sin.

2. Perhaps this is where law meets custom and interpretation. They probably upheld the same standard for women even if the law specifically doesn't specifically address women. Exodus 20:17 doesn't mention a female equivalent for "covet thy neighbor's wife," but surely women are held to account for their covetousness as well.

Women are told not to bend over for an animal. Hopefully that was less common!
Dudes had all the power. If a wealthy guy set his sites on a lower man’s wife trouble happened. Look at King David. How was he not executed for adultery? Lots of girls told me that they experiment their sexuality with other girls when they are young. Breastfeeding from my understanding makes them predisposed to attraction to breasts like it does for guys.

I'll be looking into the context, interpretation, and application of these things because the questions are so interesting. I somehow doubt it's derived from modern ideas of power dynamics and I STRONGLY doubt the Bible somehow permits lesbianism.

But I'm not close-minded. I'll entertain the idea some.

- I feel normal feelings when kissing, cuddling or making out with a man during my past relationships. Feelings of connecting with a man, joining my body somewhat with him. Kissing as a form of affection and connecting with my partner. I guess in my mind, I don't see it as 'foreplay' but just making out. Sexual intercourse and oral sex is a whole different story to me. That's something I feel is really to be done with a life partner, someone I know very well and has committed himself to me. That's what I've always felt growing up. Plus, nowadays STD testing is important.

-independently, I do feel 'sexual' sometimes. I do fantasize, etc, but always and only about being with a man.

- I'm only attracted to men. I have thought maybe my issue is with the male genitalia but I know that I am not attracted to women physically or sexually. Even though it scares me somewhat and grosses me out, my idea of sex is still me as a woman experiencing the male sex organ going into my female sex organ haha. I know it feels good but still I only think of all the consequences and dangers.

- As for my statements about men sleeping with their male friends or cheating, this is what I know is going on. I know too many women offline and online that have experienced it. I've also had a lot of LGBTQ+ men tell me that they've slept with many men who claim to be straight, whom have wives and girlfriends, but who come to them as men for sex. There's a lot of men who are having sexual relations with other men but don't consider themselves 'gay' because they claim they can only have 'relationships' as in dating and living arrangements with women. It's alot of that going on. Also, in terms of the churches, there's a lot of men with Same Sex attraction that are attracted to churches and even leadership positions in the churches. I've been told by men confidently over the years that the church is a major place bisexual and in the closet gay men go to get with other men. Even those married men are sleeping with men behind their wives backs.

I'll be looking into the context, interpretation, and application of these things because the questions are so interesting. I somehow doubt it's derived from modern ideas of power dynamics and I STRONGLY doubt the Bible somehow permits lesbianism.

But I'm not close-minded. I'll entertain the idea some.

I don't think sexuality is the problem! Instead, the issue is one of deception, cheating, double-lives and how those cause the vulnerability of women to STD's, even incurable ones.

Sexuality is certainly a part of the problem. To say otherwise is apostasy. Romans 1 makes that quite clear.

For me it’s not at all!

I don't think sexuality is the problem! Instead, the issue is one of deception, cheating, double-lives and how those cause the vulnerability of women to STD's, even incurable ones.

Your fear is common. The intercourse is not fundamental to a marriage. Some couples just dont.
Nor is intercourse fundamental to climax.
If u want to start a family then u could get support from a dr.
Some people don't like to french kiss.
U don't have to worry about being different.
However, if u want to get more comfortable with your body and a mans.
Avoid intercourse and focus on massage.
Mutual care and touch will build confidence and reduce stress.
Intercourse is a spiritual connection. Focus on the spiritual nature of touch.
My hubble advice from experience.

In the past I was in relationships that lasted up to 2 years where we kissed a lot, made out, held hands, etc., but once he brought up intercourse or was expecting it, I was turned OFF and lost all desire to continue the relationship.

I am a member of a large church with tons of activities. We haven’t met up for services or activities in over a year though because of Covid. Everything has been virtual. Based on what some men have told me though, church is full of secretly gay/bi men from the choir director, choir and men that attend church. Gay/bi men or men who have had past issues such as drugs, prison or homelessness. I’ve even read some say the large churches have married men who become friends to sleep with each other behind their wives back. This is what men have told me... that the church and gyms are mostly secretly gay/bi men.

Where was I when Gina laid the earth's foundation?

That's horrifying.

You 'lost all desire to continue the relationship'... meaning you ended it. I feel so very sorry for this person. You're hurting people. You do not have to have a relationship with any man. It's your choice. But if you do intend to have a relationship, you must start the relationship by telling him you will end the relationship if he ever mentions sex. If you don't, quite frankly, you're cruel.

Quite frankly, if you were with this person for two years, an affectionate relationship as you described, I would assume you loved them and grew deep feelings for them, yes? So much so you would find it very difficult, if not impossible, to stop seeing them simply because they brought up the subject of sex, right? It's not you're fear of intercourse that concerns me, but that you would be so cold that you could end a 2 year relationship for only that reason. This coldness should concern you more than the fear of sex. A relationship doesn't work if you don't love them as much as yourself. Real love conquers fear.

One, IF you want to get married and be fine with sex... yes, there are behavioral psychologists that can cure you, or greatly reduce, your fear of intercourse.

Two, if you tell a man right away that you want a sexless marriage, there are some men, especially impotent men, who would be fine with it. Just be up front and honest.