What Do You Do When You Start to Become the Very Thing You Said You Would Never Be?

I enjoy your posts but never hear back anything. Maybe I’m not looking in the right place.
We are never beyond stepping into a hole that will make us into what we hate.
A Japanese novel entitled Hart explores this theme brilliantly

Hi Dee,

I'm not sure what you mean about not hearing anything back?

I know you wrote a post in another thread asking me about my experiences on this site, and I wrote a detailed answer.

Hope you saw it and that you will keep posting -- it will definitely increase the likelihood of more people getting to know you and interacting with you.

Excellent question...
We are a product of our parents as sin begats more sin...

But not always...

Our parents had parents who helped form them into the people they became before they became our parents...some were positive influences and others negative influences.
Point being that some attitudes are difficult to get rid of once entrenched...and they get passed on to children who misunderstand what parents are trying to do.

My parents were extremely strict disciplinarians. Lots of beatings on a daily basis. My son never was never bruised by me and got a mere handful of ceremonial spankings. (Currently grown)
So obviously I was rather permissive in some ways...but honestly I never seen fit to punish him often because he didn't need to be. When I did it was Swift and without warning... because there was no question about what and why...he knew he had "crossed the line".

There are of course other issues surrounding my parents and their attitudes and behaviors that I find reprehensible today...I always want to do better. I'm not sure if I have accomplished that or not.

Noah's proclamation to Ham is what has haunted me...most people see Noah as invoking a curse on Canaan...not true.
Ham was the one cursing Canaan...Ham's attitudes and behaviors were what was going to do it. And that was what Noah was telling his son.

I am not my parents... completely different and free moral agent. I still copy some of my father's preferences by choice. (Abject refusal to be an elder/deacon at church is one... even though my father relented a few years back before changing churches)

Billy Graham is a story about transformation and rejection of parenting...he was the son of a drunk.
No one ever thought that he would ever be anybody even slightly special much less productive. Same with Dwight Moody. (DL Moody)

Me, of course I'm a nobody on Earth...and if anyone remembers my or my parents name long after I'm gone I'd be shocked...
But when you hear your mother's or father's words flowing out of your mouth...time to stop and be yourself.

Billy Grahams firstborn son Franklin found it hard to live up to his dad...

I think everyone expected him to be a greater preacher than he was. But thing is Franklin couldnt take after his dad when he wasnt even around much when he was growing up anyway..too busy off around the world evangelising.

So I think that drove him to be a better, more present dad than what he got as a child

Just as an example. Since his Billy Graham was so famous, everyone thought they could predict what his son would be like. But it seemed like it was the daughters that were more the preachers (probably ticking off the conservative christians who dont like women preaching)

The stories and experience with PKs are always interesting to say the least.
They usually know the best shortcuts to get in trouble than anyone around...

Gideon's kids and grandkids also had a few issues to say the least.
David had to kill one of his as he tried to take over the throne...the others weren't much better...Solomon had to kill a few brothers as well....then Solomon's son was an idiot.

But it boils down to what kids see and understand vs the whole context of their parents that they are way too young to understand. Brains physically don't mature until around 30-35. Meaning that cognitive decisions are still expanding until that time.

How typical is it that at 13 you think that you know everything but by age 21 you are sure of it? And by age 30-35 your parents become smart and talented all over again.

Basically it's a cycle of taking ourselves way too seriously and being enamored with our own attitudes and thinking skills. We learned that from our parents...and never realized it.
We also learned that from our culture. It's a pervasive attitude that carries from one generation to the next...and we think it harmless. But it isn't.

The older I get the more I know and the more I wish I didn't know. And you can't go back.

what..Solomons son was an idiot?

I dont remember reading that in the Bible...!

Ironic, since Solomon was supposedly the wisest man in the entire land, who wrote the book of Proverbs.

Jeroboam's behavior and attitude was the cause of the split between Israel.

When asked for tax relief by the northern tribes the reply was "You just thought that you were taxed too heavily before, I'm going to tax you so hard it's going to make you wish my father was still alive"
Which was the start of the split of the two kingdoms and loss of the major intersection of the spice road. Which was never controlled again.

The Northern kingdom didn't have quite enough manpower or administration to hold onto the intersection and the Southern half had no right to...they controlled just the ViaMaris and the ViaMekekh. And neither of those two well either.

That crossroads that determined whether the trade was going to Egypt or to Turkey and Europe. AKA Megiddo was the garrison that controlled it. (Whoever got there first controlled it)

There is a TON of wisdom in the Old Testament...most every situation that could ever come up has been detailed there.

Oh yes, now I remember the 'scourge them with scorpions' part

Uh real wise Jeroboam.....

Maybe every parent has to do a bit of reverse pyschology to get their child to do their bidding..?

The children of lame fathers....
We asked for eggs and all we got was scorpions. Luke 11:12

My parents never did. They just explained thoroughly why doing what they said was a good thing. That usually worked.

If that went over my head, they explained how a belt would feel applied to my backside. That always worked.

Yes, but how many times did you have to actually experience the contact of the belt being applied to your backside before you believed them?

Whatever the number is, I think you need at least a couple more times.

Um... Give me a minute here. I'm having trouble counting that high.

I think that it was Solomon who proved to be an idiot by his hundreds of wives and concubines that led him astray from the Lord.

well its got to be some kind of guinness world record there.

Its a bit weird that the Bible doesnt record how many children in total he had. Im sure there must have been more than the three mentioned.

Probably more than you can count off all of your fingers and toes. Despicable really. Same sentiments for his dad too.

Solomon was interesting. He wanted to do his job right, so he asked for wisdom. But with all the wisdom he had, he still found ways to justify doing what he wanted. You can be intelligent and even wise, and still do stupid things if you want to badly enough.

Reminds me of a line from Green Lantern to Superman, when Superman was oblivious to certain social cues: "Geez, for a guy with, like, fifty kinds of vision, you sure are blind!"