Singles: What Do You Find Are the Biggest Challenges to Living Independently?

I think one of my big challenges in living independently is letting things go when there's no one else around to keep up appearances for. While I was doing the work at home thing before I had my dog, there were plenty of days I just didn't get around to getting dressed because I wasn't going out anywhere or interacting with people in person that day. And I think if I had other people that were relying on me that would also help motivate me to eat healthier and make better choices to set a good example to other people.

Another issue may be weight issues, which can be hurtful. It is very easy for a person to have low self-esteem because of his/her spouse. Even a spouse suggesting better diet could be viewed as hurtful to some.

I saw a cute joke about this once (guys, please don't be offended, because it could obviously goes both ways.)

The observation was made that single women are often (theoretically) thinner than a lot of married women, and someone wondered why.

The answer given was:

"Single women come home, look at what's in the fridge (3-day old leftovers; cold, greasy takeout) and just automatically go to bed (without eating, because nothing looks appetizing.) Married women come home, see what's in bed (their assumedly out-of-shape husbands,) and just automatically go to the refrigerator."

Yes, I know it goes both ways.

But I couldn't help but smile (my apologies to the guys.)

Hmm... my fridge has a jug of homemade boiled custard, some homemade chili, a few other things... This might explain my current escalating weight. Also my bed is empty. But I'm happy. Getting fatter, but happy.

How fast can you grow a beard?

I'm thinking auditions for shopping mall (the 10 they have left) Santas will probably start in a few weeks.

why do people want to live by themselves or is not having any flatmates a thing now?!
Surely rents are cheaper when shared.

If you own a place you can take in a boarder or host students etc. Or is it just too much hassle to live with other people? You dont have to share your entire lives with your flatmates but then you wouldnt be alone!

why do people want to live by themselves or is not having any flatmates a thing now?!
Surely rents are cheaper when shared.

If you own a place you can take in a boarder or host students etc. Or is it just too much hassle to live with other people? You dont have to share your entire lives with your flatmates but then you wouldnt be alone!

why do people want to live by themselves or is not having any flatmates a thing now?!
Surely rents are cheaper when shared.

If you own a place you can take in a boarder or host students etc. Or is it just too much hassle to live with other people? You dont have to share your entire lives with your flatmates but then you wouldnt be alone!

I liked having roommates for the most part; it really depends on the person and I have maintained friendships with some of them (whereas I don't remember the names of other roommates). I didn't like the instability aspect of having roommates, the instability of having one (or a few) coming and going, having to put up ads to find new ones, having to move different places, etc. With some roommates they won't let you know until the end if they want to renew the lease, etc. (as they are secretly looking for a better deal elsewhere for example), so you may be panicking at the end. A few of my roommates had boyfriends over and I did not feel entirely comfortable. Plus, some roommates may not be very clean. There is always the issue of dividing chores. Where I live, if you want your own private bedroom and bathroom, it is only a bit more expensive to get your own place (either a studio, or a one-bedroom in a less convenient location). Overall, you have more privacy and more freedom to live the way you want without having a roommate. I personally would not want to buy a place and have boarders as I want my home to feel like home. If I went in with "landlord" mentality, from a business perspective, that is different. At my last place, I became close friends with a neighbor and we met in eachother's apartments for conversation, tea, meals, etc. and that was ideal.

I also love things like having a table set up with "stations" for different purposes: one side is my Bible-reading, complete with a box of highlighters, notes, and tabs for marking important information; one side is set up for letter-writing, both online and with good old-fashioned pens and papers; one side is set up with mail/current paperwork I need to work on; and the fourth side is set up for current activities, such as eating or working on a project.

So sorey. Happy to chat id that helps. There's good people here

After my then-husband left, I went through a few years of transitioning from always being around someone to only being around people at work or church. Once I got used to it, I have pretty much opted to live on my own ever since. For safety, I've always tried to live close to family and we all just find having our own spaces to be easier. Different things work for different people.

Although I have had roommates for short times (friends who temporarily needed a place to stay,) as long as I could handle things on my own, I was never interested in a permanent roommate for the very reasons that The Indian Girl mentions in her post.

For example, you might not smoke, drink, or do drugs, but you won't always get roommates who don't, and even if they don't, they might have friends and boyfriends that they constantly bring over who do. And it can be awkward if a roommate invites a significant other over for the night or weekend. What if she pretty much has him living with her (and the house only has one bathroom,) and after several months, you're going to either lay down a list of rules she most likely won't follow, or else kick her out and be left holding her share of the bills? I've known a lot of people who have gone through all kinds of horror stories with roommates (sometimes within their own families.)

I also love things like having a table set up with "stations" for different purposes: one side is my Bible-reading, complete with a box of highlighters, notes, and tabs for marking important information; one side is set up for letter-writing, both online and with good old-fashioned pens and papers; one side is set up with mail/current paperwork I need to work on; and the fourth side is set up for current activities, such as eating or working on a project.

I love that I can leave everything out, go wherever I need to go, and then have everything waiting for me exactly the way it was when I left it. I don't have to worry about anyone breaking my things, locking anything up or someone trying to copy my personal information (as I said, even if your roommates are trustworthy, it doesn't mean the people they bring over are.) I take on the role of being responsible for any mess or mishap that needs to be cleaned up (rather than waiting for a roommate to take care of their dirty dishes, laundry, or 6-month old spoiled food.)

I don't have to worry about someone not coming up with their rent, even though it's stressful doing everything alone. I don't have to fight with anyone about how they want to live their life or try to enforce rules over another (theoretically) grown adult.

While living on one's own isn't a life for everyone, I do think it that for those who can do it, there can be a lot of benefits (mostly in the form of the things you DON'T have to worry about.)

I was going to add that one reason Im not that keen on living alone is perhaps security eg no back ups. You go out, you have to lock up everything. If you leave your house you have to remember to lock ALL the doors and windows, and if you live in a house with many entrances and exits and windows thats a lot of locks to remember! And then with your house all locked up there might not be any ventilation. also, I know sometimes you are in such a rush to leave you may forget something...like turning the heater or lights off. (especially on thise days that are dark in the mornings, Im like that with the car, how many times have I left the lights on?! then it wont start)

Imagine having to do that ten times a week. I suppose with an apartment it is easier as there may be a concierge and caretaker. So if anything does go wrong or something happens you can call them to check.

I remember once being in a hurry and got to work and had to go back and check if I left the garage door open after my flatmate had left earlier. She was also a bit worried if I left a window open (even though it had a security latch and the house was alarmed) because she had been burgled in the past.

why do you call them roomates? I just think its weird because you may not actually share a room. You might share other parts of the dwelling.

why do you call them roomates?

We don't use the term flatmate.