Will I ever get a good wife of Christ?

Once while talking with a phone operator, I got a date with her and her friend. Both made my toes curl.

So is lying in the sofa and waiting for a gift from the heaven to write my number the best way to find a good wife?

Back in my day, it was dialing land lines --- often you had to use the Operator in remote areas to place a call. I also, knew that operators were local and lived near by. I remembered hearing her voice in my neighborhood. So, I asked questions.

Good Night and God Bless, My wife is home and kicking me off the Computer,
Daniel

You're creating excuses as a reason for your focus. Faith over fear man.

Please explain friend. The topic is how to get a good wife. I simply shared a story on how I found a potential one. Oh, I found her a husband --- another Christian.

1 John 4:18
Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love takes away fear. It is his punishment that makes a person fear. So his love is not made perfect in the one who has fear.

Matthew 10:28
“Don’t be afraid of people. They can kill the body, but they cannot kill the soul. The only one you should fear is God, the one who can send the body and the soul to be destroyed in hell.

Ephesians 3:12
In Christ we come before God with freedom and without fear. We can do this because of our faith in Christ.

The problem is that if I do there are still chances (and not few) that I will not get anything anyway.

For example, if there were not any women meeting my expectations here, which one would I receive as a "gift"? Because if no one is willing to change, I will never change them. This is why I want my wife to be my ideal since I meet her and to stay exactly the same for the rest of her life. I don't want to waste my time trying to change people that will not.

@JohnDB , @tourist , @kaylagrl , @Hungry , and our other married friends here:

Could you please tell us what your perspectives are about this statement, seeing as you all have been married for some time and can speak from experience?

How does one find someone and expect them to stay the same for the rest of their life?

Yeah...that's a fantasy.
An extremely unrealistic fantasy. Probably by someone who is going to remain single until they change. Robots don't change...I didn't marry a robot I married a person.
I knew what general qualities I needed in a spouse but they were extremely general... nothing even getting close to specifics. (I like the smart girls with strong personalities)
And I don't care about the changes she has had over the years. And some of her thoughts have changed drastically over them. (Especially with what foods she thinks is good)

People change, grow, and mature...that is the constant in life. Change is the only constant. Some for the better and some for the worse. But it really depends on the environment they are living in.

When two people get married they become a "we" and no longer an "I". Both identities merge into one because they have to give them up.
My wife gave up her identity to me and I gave it back with some of mine mixed in...she did the same thing with me.

That's marriage....where the end result is more than the sum of its parts.
And I feel bad for those who don't get to experience that.

What's even wrong with that? If I marry a woman, it's because I select that woman the way she is. Why do I have to be comfortable with a different wife afterwards if that was not part of the agreement?

God changes not but people are in a constant state of change, sometimes it is subtle, sometimes dramatic. Hopefully, the change is positive, especially in a spiritual sense as in repentance which is a lifelong process.

I am a married man but my prayer is to be a better husband. I am not perfect, so therefore, to remain on a positive spiritual trajectory there must be change. Otherwise, I would be in a stagnant state as a husband, and also in danger of a spiritual decline as a servant of the Lord.

My counsel for those contemplating marriage is to allow God, who changes not, to be at the center of your marriage.

Entering into a relationship that may possibly lead to marriage I would be more fearful if there was no change as there would be no hope for things ever getting better, and no growth as a man or a husband for that matter. Any change though, must come from what we allow God to happen inside of us.

One caveat about marriage though, don't go into a marriage believing that you're going to be able to change your prospective spouse. That is not going to happen. If you cannot accept that person for who they are than it would be best to not enter into the relationship.

I will close by saying, based on my own observation and experience, that the family that prays together stays together.

And thus starts the circular argument that went on (and on) in all of the previous threads about this before.

But you keep asking, hoping you're going to eventually get the answers you want.

Why?

Exactly. Well spoken.

Also, it would be helpful if you specified what kind of changes do you expect me so much to accept.

I would not be that bothered with this one specifically. As long as it is not junk food.

Because people age...

That college aged girl don't look the same in 30 years...nor is she going to be the same.

So you are saying that you both, as part of the wedding vows, promise not to change so as to not invalidate the agreement?

I would say that if there is anything that you cannot accept then maybe it would be best to pass on that woman. If she was an atheist you might want to reconsider. Or a Satanist. Or possibly despicable character trait such as being mean-spirited or selfish. I would not disqualify a prospective spouse for leaving the cap off the toothpaste or enjoying an occasional Twinkie.

Actually my wife changed from Cheddar and Sour cream potato chips to the plain ones I like...

I know another guy's wife who would never eat cookies...now she eats them when they are good.

People change more than food likes though...

People are supposed to be constantly changing their minds and repenting of former attitudes...adopting new ones as God leads them to.

These kinds of questions -- asking for specifics and asking for details about things people have already taken the time to post -- were a hallmark of the other threads.

To the OP -- I'm not sure how to ask this question without sounding politically incorrect.

I'm wondering, do you have some kind of tendency towards OCD or a condition that makes you continuously ask the same things over, and then pull new people into the same chasing-your-tail pattern when current participants give up?

I'm not asking to criticize, and I realize this may be way too personal to post, but I'm trying to understand why you are so obsessed and insistent upon impossible things?

Exactly, this is one of the promises I require in a woman to marry her.

I know that her today's words will not have any effect on her future so I will not directly ask her to "stay the same forever", rather, I will tell how predictable she is judging the personality, moods and behaviours she has had during the courting years in the different stages of the relationship (I have heard that you can often tell whether a person is stable or not after meeting them for a time). If her score on predictability is low, then there's no marriage between us. Unpredictable people rarely change for the good and marrying one is an huge risk. I know marriages who have fallen apart because one party has suddenly decided not to stay in a monogamous relationship any longer.