It's not unusual to feel spiritually low and exhausted, most of us feel that way many times, challenges/problems. But remember, these things shall pass away. Here are a couple of examples of God's people who felt the same way, wished to die but continued on to do God's will:
Elijah Flees From Jezebel
…4while he himself traveled on a day’s journey into the wilderness. He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5
Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6And he looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again.… And then Elijah went on to do God's will.
St Paul's desire to give up this life and be with Jesus:
The apostle Paul dedicated his life to preaching the gospel of the Kingdom of God (Acts 14:22; Acts 19:8; Acts 20:25; Acts 28:23; Acts 28:31). In the process he was subjected to persecution, beatings and several periods of imprisonment. When he wrote his letter to the Philippians, he was enduring a period of house arrest in Rome. Paul knew that the Roman government had authority to put prisoners to death. Paul knew what the future might hold for him, whether it be execution on the one hand or his release on the other.
In Philippians 1:23-24 he writes of the two possible outcomes: "For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you."
Paul is basically saying that God's will comes first. If Paul can bring others to Jesus, through Paul's sufferings, he will do so rather than selfishly willing to die and be with Jesus now.
All of us suffer and wish to pass on to Jesus. But that may not be God's plan for us. God's plan for us may be to help spread the Gospel/faith of Jesus and bring others to salvation. We must pray to the Father, that He endows us with the Spirit and enables us to do His will and persevere til the end.
You must pray/beg the Holy Spirit for the strength to persevere, doing God's will and living the life He planned for you.
PS I don't really feel any sympathy for you. There are so many people suffering in this world today who have it much worse than you. And here you are feeling sorry for yourself.
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