TONGUES is a precious gift from God

And I absolutely LOOOOOVED hearing someone (you specifically) give a full answer of Acts 2:38-39 in regards to what is needed for salvation.
I didnt see your posting until after I'd posted that testimony (or I'd have Winner-ribboned it sooner). Glad my brief testimony stands in confirmation.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

I also really like the cat pic that Sophie posted (and will share it with my daughter as soon as she replies to my text claiming I've found proof that the world is round). But I'm pretty sure I'm on Sophie's ignore list so she might not see the appreciation. Which gives me an opportunity to speak behind her back. BWU-Ha-HAHAHA-HaHA-Ha-Haaaaaaw!

I might not appreciate what seems to be the almost-always-adversarial way she seems to present herself, but I'm impressed by how well she sticks up for speaking in tongues.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

Actually I don't remember if it was just before or just after posting that I read Lafftur's post. I just know it was after I'd WRITTEN my post because I copy/pasted it in for time and space. Just an FYI for any scrutinizers.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

It's the one above you.....lol
Sorry sometimes when I take them off ignore for a minute and see they have used my name I speak only to that person who knows by their quote..
Again sorry for confusing. I'll do better.

I normally don't share pics on here or most anywhere else, but here's a pic of my "Short, pretty blonde with two kids that thinks I'm special" (taken about 6 months after our marriage as part of a free photo shoot she'd won in a drawing. poorly copied from the 16"x20" canvas print) from 30+ years ago:

Oooops.. that was big.

And here's a dorky already-fasting-myself-towards-oblivion Kelby just after getting married to said blonde about 6 months prior to the big pic. Just for reference...and just because I love that pic of her.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

My apologies to the site if I wasn't supposed to post personal pics in this area. I was only providing supporting evidence of my claims that God answers prayer (of various kinds)...and of course bragging a bit on the prettiness of my wifey.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

So many stories to tell. (true stories). Years ago I picked up a hitchhiker on the edge of Illinois and gave him a ride to Omaha, NE . It was a 5-hr trip and he was a captive audience. So I thought "I wonder if I could briefly tell him about all the things God has done for me...seeing we've got 5 hours."

Turns out I couldn't.

After 5 hours, I felt no closer to the end of that list than I had when he'd first gotten in. I just kept thinking of more things.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

Now somebody else share a testimony of God's goodness so I can read instead of typing... lol.

I adopt the principle: "I am the head of my house, whatever my wife says shall be done!" As a result we have had 30 years of happy marriage. Being the head of the house doesn't mean having power and control. It means that the buck stops with you. You don't have to tell your wife what to do. She will have her way of doing things and her own space in the household. By the same token, she doesn't have to tell you what to do. The best way of resolving a conflict between us is for me to say , "Yes dear". I can quite happily do this because I don't have any issues about my wife doing what she wants. And it is not at my expense because my dignity and person freedom is never at risk.

I know that some Christian men think they have to be the commanding general in the home, I learned very early on while I was a school teacher. All it took for my wife to say, "Don't treat me like you treat your kids in class!" a couple of times to settle me down as far as a the power and control bit is concerned. I believe that behind every good man there is an excellent woman. We are not in the army. There are not military ranks in our home. There are no PIC's (people in charge). We are both VIP (very important people).

I think that you need to be especially patient with your wife. She is suffering from a type of PTSD after the abusive relations she has had. This makes her very sensitive to anyone trying to exercise any authority over her. It is best to leave her alone and allow her to have her own space. She will depend on you to be her strength and support, just like my wife not wanting to drive on the motorway, She says, "Why bark, if I have a dog to bark for me?" She is also hopeless with any type of technology, and so she depends on me to put new batteries in the TV remote, or solve any computer problems. There are things you can do that she cannot, and without you, she would be all at sea.

We have an arrangement. She does the cooking, and I do the dishes. She loads the dishwasher and I empty it. This is what partnership is all about.

I think that this "head of the home" thing involving the man having power and control over his wife and children causes more domestic abuse than any other kind. The statistics state that 4% of women in the community have been or witness to domestic abuse in their lifetimes. But in the church the statistics are 3%, and I think that most of that comes from spiritual and domestic bullying arising out of the man being the head of the wife and home teaching.

So, just relax and enjoy your marriage, without trying to mold your spouse into the perfect Christian submissive wife. True submission is to Christ, not domestic slavery.

Not a problem. You are a very attractive couple. You can be a valuable part of her healing if you just let her be herself. My wife's name is Catherine, and she would be offended if I called her wifey. She has her name, and referring to her by name preserves her dignity as a person. For me the term "wifey" is a demeaning them suggesting that she is inferior to you in some way. If you treat her with absolute respect in the home and in the company of others, be totally loyal to her and accept no criticism of her from anyone, she will honour and respect you for it. I won't allow anyone to speak disparagingly of Catherine. That goes for anyone in the church as well. If anyone tried, even it is an elder or pastor, they would receive the sharp edge of my tongue, no doubt about it. Actually, no one would dare speak negatively of Catherine in my hearing, because they know I wouldn't have a bar of it and I would let them know in no uncertain terms.

It is like that Hanna Barbera cartoon of Yakki the duck. The fox comes to get the duck and suddenly from no where appears a large bulldog who says, "Better close your itty bitty like eyes Yakki. You shouldn't oughta watch this!" And then the bulldog deals to the fox who definitely comes off second best!

There are "holier than thou" people, male and female in our churches who get their rocks off criticising those who they think don't come up to their standards. You need to protect your wife from those people. There's where you need to show your authority as the head of your home - exercising authority over those pelicans who would verbally abuse your wife behind her back to you or even to her face. Your wife will love you all the more when you stand up to these pelican church people and tell them directly and loudly where to get off!

Continuing my last post about being loyal to my wife.

I had to learn that lesson during my first marriage. I allowed church people to criticise my first wife because she didn't go along with some of the views that some people were adopting in that church. It was reported to me that someone had said, "Paul's wife makes the bullets and Paul fires them". I think that my first wife received phone calls from an elder of the church telling her that she was disobeying the Lord by not conforming to the teaching of the church and not being the submissive wife she should be. My error was not being strongly loyal to her and not standing up to the criticisers by telling them to back off and leave my wife alone. I didn't protect her as I should have done, and this may have led to her deep depression and fear of that church that contributed to the break down of our marriage. I was and am determined that the same is not going to happen to Catherine. Because I am no longer in a Charismatic church where people tend to tell others how to live their lives and conduct their marriages, in the churches I have fellowshiped with since, the need to stand up against criticising pelicans hasn't arisen. All our Presbyterian friends in the church have the greatest respect for Catherine, even though she prefers not to attend Sunday services, but rather involves herself in the social ad community side of the church. That's that way it should be.

Incidentally, my wife doesn't speak in tongues, as I do. She says that it is not her cup of tea. I have no problem with that because I allow her to be herself. I don't force my theology or my spiritual values on to her. That is not what our marriage is all about.

I just chose this one but am replying to all three.

It's nice to see the supportive nature of all three posts. Supportive of your wife. Supportive of my relationship with my wife. Supportive of successful marriages everywhere, with an intentional effort to not be overly pushy.

In our house "Hey Hubby" and "Hi Wifey" are just pleasant greetings without negative connotation. Her preference to remain anonymous in terms of online discussions is why I referred to her as Wifey here. I've always thought of the term as playfully respectful without being prim and proper. But I've also been known to overlook social cues. So I'm open to a review of my habits.

We've been married 30-plus years and have worked out most of the things you've mentioned, but not all. Changing situations and our growth as individuals has kept us on our toes.

As mentioned earlier, my wife and I met through and because of prayer (on her end and on mine). She had been baptized and received the Holy Ghost (with speaking in tongues) before we met so that hasn't been an issue. She was kind of running from God. I was seeking his face. God used her to bring me to him. And (as she says) God used me to keep her from running away.

In our relationship, we both brought baggage, and we're still working through some of it. But it's fairly clear that it can all be overcome.

To summarize my stance on one thing you mentioned. I'm not a fan of abuse of power in any role, or by any party. That's part of the reason my emphasis was on me being appropriately in authority and her appropriately submissive. And I meant appropriate in the eyes of God.. Not the church's eyes... Not my eyes... Not her eyes...God's eyes.

So why did I assume I was to be in authority? Because I knew the bible says something about the man being the head of the wife. But I didn't know what that truly meant or how it should be done correctly (with neither abuse nor dysfunction). That's where the prayer in the Spirit (tongues) came in. I didn't know what to pray. I just knew something was wrong. So I spoke in tongues and let the spirit make intercession for me. And it worked.

Love in Jesus,
Kelby

In thinking about what I wanted to answer to you, I saw more clearly what being the head of my house really meant. It wasn't really being the commanding general of the home. It is more of a strength and protector, especially against outside negative influences. If confronted with a burglar, the husband stands between the intruder and his family and is prepared to give his life for them. He is the one who deals with the wasp nest in the rafters. I think one of the worst threats to a Christian marriage is the intrusion of interfering church members. Sometimes when it is a church elder or pastor who is the threat, it is difficult for a husband to stand up again someone he sees as an authority in the church. It can falsely appear that the husband is standing up against God's appointed authority with the mistaken belief that the church elder or pastor has some sort of authority over the marriage and the personal lives of the spouses.

But as there are abusive civil governing authorities, there are pastors and elders who also abuse their roles and seek to bring their members into bondage to their power and control. There have been many instances where church leaders have accused Christian wives of being "jezebels" because of disagreements over theology and practice in the church. Women seem to have an intuition about inappropriate church practices than many men, and sometimes it is the wife who sees the issues before the husband. This is what happened with my first wife. She saw many things wrong with the church before I did. If I had known then what I know now, I would have protected her and told the church elder to back off or else. I failed to do that, and found out after a while that she was right about what was going on in that church. I walked out of that church in 1979 after being with it for six years, but it was too late for my marriage. The damage had been done, and she came under more direct criticism through the weapon of the telephone when I did walk out. She told me after she left and went back to live with her parents that she was afraid to come back to the city where we lived, on her own. This was the deep fear that was instilled in her because of the abusive actions of a church elder harassing her over the telephone and accusing her of influencing me away from "the body of Christ" as he thought that church was the only real body of Christ in that city.

God has taught me rather thoroughly on the topic of authority. More than enough to start a thread on the subject.

I'd thought about just sharing here how my training started in earnest. But then I realized it started immediately after that 1-1/2 year battle with fear and the associated torment. So it kind of makes sense just to pick up where that story ended.

Plus, this thread has lost most of its antagonists. (Or they've put me on ignore...lol) So it's probably a safe place to share some deeper information with people who might actually care.

I'll start in next posting (Lord willing).

Love in Jesus,
Kelby




starting immediately after my yea

Here's the basics: When I said I embraced "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" I meant it. And I lived it. Until I fell...HARD.

And for those who care to read it…
Here's the more detailed account leading up to the collapse:

I was doing so well at excelling in my work that one day the three supervisors of the 3 main departments at the time (Plastics Fabrication shop, Rotational Molding and Product Assembly (of mostly injection-molded Lottery-based products) were all arguing over who could use me that day, and the very president of the company had to come settle the dispute. (That'll make you feel good if it ever happens to you) And yes, I could do almost every job in each of those departments.

Also, About 1-2 years before my crash, I had been asked to take control of our Pad-printing department (just one machine) to see if production could be raised from 300/hr to at least 400-500/hr. Preferably 600/hr. I raised it to 3100/hr.

After doing that and then moving into a new significantly larger purpose-built area of the building, the president and the CFO/COO walked into my work area with some magazines and said " Here are some ScreenPrinting magazines. Read them. Go to the library and do some research. Call suppliers and see if they can find a producer willing to show you the ropes. Whatever you need. We want you to start a screen-printing department." So I did.

And shortly after, my world came crashing down.

I didn't know WHY until afterwards when I'd regained enough confidence in God (and myself) to ask Him what happened. But it was NOT because I couldn't do ScreenPrinting (which is a method of printing through "screens" which were actually a mono-filamant polyester weaved "fabric" stretched over a rigid frame of one type or another). And it was NOT because I couldn't do Pad Printing (think mechanized rubber stamping).

What I didn't realize at the time was that even though I COULD "do all things through Christ" I couldn't do pad printing, screen printing, pre-production, scheduling of jobs, ordering, coordinating with other departments, etc, all at the same time and all by myself as the demand for production grew quickly. (Brilliant, right? LOL)

Fortunately, someone saw me struggling and assigned my best friend (a more fragile Christian) as a helper so there would be 2 workers instead of just one. But it was too late. I was already overwhelmed and it just added the task of training to my overloaded plate. Did I mention there are 32 variables that affect the amount of ink passing through that fabric? It's not a fast process to train. And not everyone has the mindset for the complexities.

So things just got worse. (details bypassed here) Until I was convinced that verse didn't actually apply to me...and I subsequently concluded that every other verse I'd THOUGHT applied to me (especially those related to faith, hope and confidence in God) must have been likewise WRONGLY assumed to apply to me. Think "intense self-condemnation" and you'll be close. Oh yeah. Satan was spoon-feeding these conclusions to my All-or-nothing mentality to help me lose faith in God and myself. It worked quite well.

For about the next year and a half my confidence crashed and what was a string of awesome successes turned into months of debilitating fear. They eventually pulled my partially trained friend and cut orders to a minimal level which I was barely able to accomplish. (Remember, there was no one else who knew how to do it.)

At one point my wife said I should go into the office and tell them to fire me instead of removing my friend because I was the failing one. (Did I mention that my wife was not always supportive? lol) And, guess what... I did exactly what she said. Fortunately they said they'd stick with me a while longer.

Now we're caught up to the point where the testimonies of posts 1253 & 1254 took over.

If I post more, it will pick up right after God delivered me from the fear (with supporting defensive wall restored) And that will tie into how he started teaching me about authority. And you’ll see that I posted all of this to show why what happened the day I returned to work after being delivered was so unexpected. I THINK that part will be shorter... but... just pray for me, lol.

PART 1 of the 1-1/2 year ordeal... PART 2 of the 1-1/2 year ordeal...
Love in Jesus,
Kelby

What gave rise to much of the spiritual abuse from church people who saw themselves having authority over others was the emergence of the Shepherding/Discipleship movement out of Fort Laudedale, where believers were told to have a discipler to quide them. Although it is good to have a more experienced mentor, because the heart of man is desperately wicked and who can know it, the discipling process was hijacked by those who aspired to have power and control over others. It meant that many uninformed, inexperienced believers were so much in bondage that they couldn't go to the store and buy a new pair of pants without their "shepherd's" permission. Believers were told where to go to church, what books to read, who to marry, whether they could go to university or not, etc. This caused widespread grief and harm to good believers, and many walked away from their churches and away from Christ Himself because of the spiritual abuse that this movement caused. Allied to it was the "covering" doctrine, which demanded that everyone had to have a "covering" of a particular church or person. This caused some smaller Christian independent groups to be hijacked by larger church denominations that demanded that these groups be under their "covering". In reality groups lost their independence and were forced to adopt the theology and practices of the larger denominational church. It happened quite a lot in the Pentecostal and Charismatic movement.

This is what God thinks about arrogant people who think they are so holy that they think they have authority over their brothers and sisters in Christ: " Who say, Stand by thyself, come not near to me; for I am holier than thou. These are a smoke in my nose, a fire that burns all the day" (Isaiah 65:5).
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