"Lord, Help Me Get Back to Where I Used to Be." Do You Go Backwards, or Just Move On?

Hi Everyone,

What times in your life did you feel at your best, whether spiritually, emotionally, physically, or all of the above? Have you ever hit a peak in your life and then found yourself longing to go back to it? What wound up happening?

One of the ironic things I'm learning is that I think we often hit peaks in life and don't even know it. I had a long stretch in life where I had to be to work by 9 AM, so I would get up at 5 AM because it would give me enough time to go workout, do a Bible study, and run through the shower. I liked getting all of that done first thing because I knew if I tried after work, I'd be too tired and would make excuses. I didn't realize at the time that this was probably a life peak for me.

These days, I still like getting up early, but I find myself with only a fraction of the energy and motivation I once used to have to do anything beyond regular responsibilities. I realize there are probably a myriad of factors behind this dip, including the passing of time and several big life changes, but I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to keep my former pace.

I know some of our friends here with more life experience might say that's just life , and of course I do realize that, but the other day, I found myself praying to God that He would restore me back to what I used to be. However, I was thinking today that it might be a futile prayer, and that God's will for me might be leading me to adjust to a "new normal" instead.

I can admit to having a hard time accepting that, but, God's will be done. I've always been a very task-oriented person, and not being able to achieve or finish the same level of tasks that I used to often has me fighting off depression and anxiety. What about yourself?

* Have you had times when you found your current self to be very different from who you were at another place in life? (Maybe it was changes due to success or loss, change of family or jobs, moving, death, divorce, illness, sickness, etc.)

* What did you do to cope? What things did you find helpful, or not helpful at all? What is the best and worst advice you were given?

* Did you ever get back "to your former self," or did you adjust, and how did it go?

* How do you know when to try to get back to a certain benchmark in your life, or to just move on?

I would appreciate your thoughts, as I think it will be helpful and encouraging to others here that everyone goes through this, and has their own ways of adjusting.

interesting have to think about that

sounds a bit like 'getting your groove back' though because of pandemic, havent really been able to do much socially.

I do know I dont suffer depression anymore, so in no way would I ever go back to THAT time in my life. Or the manic times either lol.

There is a name people bandy about calling it 'resilience' where you bounce back supposedly. But if you feel like all the air has been let out and you are feeling flat might be time to just pump up.

Same here. I am always tired and feel drained. You reach a point in your life when you realize that the ship has sailed without you. You make adjustments, and do the best that you can, with the time that you have left, with what God has graciously provided you. That's what I tell myself anyways.

CAVEAT: I'm a guy so this works for me. I understand girls' brains work different so YMMV.

I dunno... With everything a person might work for and toward, my first question is "Why do we need this?" Why do we need to go to the gym and work out and build up muscles? Just for the sake of having muscles so we can be proud of them? Why should I knock myself out with three jobs just to have more money than I need, that I'll never have time to enjoy?

Now if there is a NEED, that's different. If I'm trying to lose weight to improve my shaky health, or if I'm trying to cover some medical bills I know are in my imminent future, I'll do what it takes to make this needed thing happen.

And if I'm NOT doing what it takes to make it happen, my first question would be "Why am I not getting this done?"

But in general I never have seen the point in pushing myself to maintain a standard just because it is what I used to do or what other people expect. Maybe they have lives that need those levels they push for. Maybe I don't need that anymore.

Yet another interesting topic from Seoul !!!

I can sit here and think about what I could call high points or what I thought was high points at the time. The only ones that I would like to revisit is when my kids were born.

I can't say that there is any part of my former self that I would like to get back to. Maybe I just want my former self to stay "former"... You really have to move on.

At 56 years, I realize youth and vigor have sailed... far away!
I do still exercise and the aches and pains are real... LOL

As for now, I start my mornings with coffee, bible study, and breakfast... Sometimes I ask God what is my place, my work, my path in all this? Sometimes I wonder what will happen first, retirement or grandchildren? .. and sometimes, I just wander about...

Maybe this isn't much of an answer. The topic stirred many thoughts, things I just didn't have the words for... RB

Yeah for sure. Wow. Your posts are always so thought-provoking. To be quite simple, it's best to stay positive even when that isn't the reality. It's better to have a positive outlook and try to be happy because the alternative is being absorbed into pessimism because life tends to naturally and realistically arc toward chaos, pain, and confusion.

I'm not really trying to say "deceive yourself" but we got to have the right mindset to face all of these challenges through life.

No, I do not believe I have reached a peak of some sort that I yearn to go back to. My general feeling is that I have not reached my peaks (spiritually, emotionally, or physically). At any of my former "peaks" I feel there was always some other issue/obstacle I was going though. For example, one of my (emotional) peaks was when I had this amazing internship abroad (for nearly a year), which also allowed me an opportunity to meet new and interesting colleagues and travel to new places on a very regular basis. At the same time, I did not feel I belonged there as there were very few people with same views, I didn't speak the primary language, and I was stressed applying for a permanent job. I also had a great group of girlfriends in my early-mid 20s and I had some fun times, but there were some stressful situations there as well plus I also believe God wanted me to meet new (Christian) friends (which I did). If I kept up at exercising and stuck to a schedule, I believe I could reach my physical peak but I find exercising too boring unless there is an good fitness class (but I have also found myself getting bored with these). I still have a lot to learn spiritually, and still have a lot of questions, so I believe that is more of a journey where I will grow spiritually over time.

I think we all "slow down" as we age, but that is no reason to stop us from reaching our spiritual or emotional peaks, or even physical peaks. Of course we cannot get our youthful appearances or other physical attributes like speed back, but it is still possible to be healthy and active at an older age, perhaps more so than an unhealthy younger version of yourself.

Yeah, need to get my groove back.

well after a think its better to do a few things well than many things badly

Personally I am not a very 'task orientated' person and I dont really have benchmarks
I am not the kind of person who is very competitive or counts the number of pages I read or whatever...its more of quality over quantity.

I guess I dont beat myself up for things it is less stress that way..I think as you grow older you learn more efficient ways of doing things that require less energy at least thats how I see it.

also day light saving time has an effect. I used to get up at 5am because had to be at work around 7am (was still dark) when I did gardening so I'd be home by 2 and I did 40 hour week outside in all weathers but now I have a part time job, four days dont need to be there till 8:30 and I can walk, and finish at three and its indoors but sometimes I dont and I do think if I could get up earlier I would but sometimes my body wont cooperate or its raining or I have a heap of things to carry.

Maybe the difference is now I dont have a slave driving boss like in my former jobs and I dont place that pressure on myself. I know I could break if pushed too far...and I do. If someone decides to get real snappy with me because I have low energy that is really on them. I know, because I work with children, that they are only that way because in reality they are TIRED and hungry, they have demands at home that we dont see. Likwise if I dont have refreshment or nourishment, I do get tired.

but that doesnt mean start drinking a bottle of V energy drink everyday or have a secret stash of chocolate
Just means have regular meals and breaks.

on spiritual level prayers might be
to restore what the locust have eaten
to renew your faith rise up like an eagle and not grow weary
to not grow weary in well doing

Jesus was all for moving forward and not looking back like Lots wife. For me nostalgia is overrated. If I do look back its mostly to laugh at how foolhardy I was.

I've got so many disorganized thoughts on this topic.

So many people talk about spiritual growth, yet it's very difficult to quantify. Usually we try to quantify it by more time spent doing churchy things and that kind of makes me think of the Pharisee in the parable " I thank you that I am not like other men, I fast x times a week, I tithe on every little thing and I especially thank you that I'm not like that guy over there".

We talk a lot more about actions we do for God than how the fruit of the spirit (which kind of has some analogue to growth if anything does) is being manifest in our lives. While I can agree that yes there are things we can do to create an environment that directs our thoughts more towards God, I'm not sure the more "spiritual busyness" correlates with more Christlike character. So what is the goal? Spiritual warm fuzzies (that transcendent feeling experience), some sort of accomplishment that we can wear like a spiritual nobel prize medal to show people how Godly we are, doing all the right things so that we please God and his people and don't make them upset with us?

I think it also should be said that maybe just maybe, we were never meant to live on the mountaintop. Maybe the amazing spiritual experiences or moments aren't meant to be part of daily experience. CS Lewis talks about ( I think in the 4 loves but don't remember for sure) two different ways of being near God..... we can be near in the sense of behaving like him and having traits that reflect his or we can be near him relationally usually at those times when we rather desperately need him because we're so far from being near him in the first sense. Which way of being near God is more "spiritual"?


As for me, yes I miss aspects of my former self like having the hope and the expectancy of thinking that God was going to do something huge soon. I miss what looked like extreme faith that believed God could fix anything and everything and barely break a sweat. But I think more now of those who feel excluded from God's love because of their circumstances, or for whom every testimony of answered prayer is like a slap in the face because that person got something that seems trivial while God still won't give me this thing that I've been desperately begging for. And when I can muster up the energy to do any seeking and pursuing of spiritual things, I want to know and proclaim a good news that is still good when God says no and nothing seems to be going right. Kind of like Job, he kept at least enough faith to want an audience with God and believe that God would deal justly with him when his world was falling apart, while his friends said all the right spiritual things and tried to convince him that he somehow deserved it .

There's a great dr who scene about this (hopefully it starts at the 2:00 ish mark where the quote I want to highlight is):

i think with church things
sometimes the times you do attend church are the times when you really need it to last you through the times when you may not be able to

I think regular habits do ground you though, for example, I post on CC almost everyday as my connection to God and fellowship. I am never able to go to a physical church everyday, I dont live in one, am not a staff member so Im just not in that loop

with Bible reading I once spent half a year solely reading the Bible from cover to cover, that reading and familiarity with scripture is never lost. I know some people like to get their Bible once a week from church and maybe never pick it up otherwise, but for me thats like watching the news on tv thats full of soundbites and never actually getting the full story. You might think you know the Bible from what others have said but if you never take the time to read it completely for yourself you'll only ever get bits and pieces.