Been Single My Whole Life

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#83
In "normal life". If you could call anything in life really "normal". A lot of people still think that the man should be the one who pursues the woman and asks her out. I'm not against that view, but what I think you got to remember about my situation, is I am under work rules. I got to be very careful not to cross the line. All a woman has got to do is say a man is sexually harassing her and then he is fired.

I get the impression, sometimes, that she doesn't realize how much more power at work, she has, then I do. One time she said something that really hurt my feelings. I almost argued with her, but backed down and walked away. It was five months later I finally confronted her about it. I explained to her that she hurt my feelings and told her on my job, I am not allowed to have conflict. Then I told her some of my past stories where just a little conflicted ended everything. There has been four different times, when me and a teacher stopped talking completely forever! Just over a simple mistake. Then I told her, "You try having friends without conflict". I think some of what I said sunk in. I'm not a hundred percent sure. I also get the impression that she's got some views that goes against the rules the I'm put under. From a Christian perspective her views might be correct. But it's really hard for me to know who at work I can trust and who I can't. I talk, but I'm always alert to anything that might tip me off that someone might cause me trouble.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#84
seems to me Miss Weird dont understand boundaries

workplace harassers are truly annoying to say the least. Teachers are also tend to be caught up in themselves, and operate under different conditions (and salaries) than support staff.

I actually find the whole workplace /workforce thing sometimes just a step up from slavery. Like ppl pretend its fair and equitable but its really not in practice. sometimes its just like a marriage. where one partner gets the bum deal.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#85
seems to me Miss Weird dont understand boundaries

workplace harassers are truly annoying to say the least. Teachers are also tend to be caught up in themselves, and operate under different conditions (and salaries) than support staff.

I actually find the whole workplace /workforce thing sometimes just a step up from slavery. Like ppl pretend its fair and equitable but its really not in practice. sometimes its just like a marriage. where one partner gets the bum deal.
I'm basically agreeing with you. I try not to be too judgmental, because I don't know what I would do in her shoes. And I can't look into her head to see what how she reasons things out. But I think her biggest problem with me is, she doesn't know how to communicate clearly. I was talking about her with a kitchen worker, and I told her the same thing. She responded, maybe she's good at communicating with kids but not good at communicating with adults. I think it is possible, that the reason why she isn't married is because she might not be good at communicating with grown men. One time in passing, I tried to tell the teacher, that she should look at this video, on Harvest Virtue. I think it's good for anyone to watch, no matter what your gender is. I listened to it out of curiosity, I was surprised and impressed by it.

She helps Women understand Men.

In order to save anyone time I tried to set the link to skip ahead to where the message starts.

Harvest Virtue is a resource for Christian Women.
https://virtue.harvest.org/about/

Shaunti Feldhahn is a ground-breaking social researcher, best-selling author, and popular speaker on a variety of topics including marriage, parenting, and relationships in the home and workplace. For Women Only is one of many books she has co-authored with her husband, Jeff. Others include For Men Only, and most recently, Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationships, Your Money, and Yourself. She is gifted at presenting eye-opening, practical insights into the challenges and joys of learning to communicate and invest in relationships in lasting, meaningful ways.

~Harvest Virtue

 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#87
Paragraphs are used when you change thought. I did not change thought. Therefor the whole thing is just one paragraph. And it isn't even that long.
I didn't find anything wrong with what you posted at all. I don't care about style; I care about your heart.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#88
Im reading this memoir called 'the accidental teacher'

and yes this teacher did have an inappropriate relationship but not with a janitor but another teacher who was ALREADY married, and they actually had a daughter, but the daughter is banned from seeing her dad, since that broke up her mums marriage

the accidental teacher was widowed though but still that is no excuse for busting up someone elses marriage
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#89
even more shocking was that the accidental teacher went on from that to a different school and married another teacher who he stayed with for 11 years but that didnt end well either

And Ive just been caring for a widow who had married a teacher and she was a teacher aide, but at a different school they didnt work in the same school, so I guess thats ok, though their marriage was a good one, I think they were quite dependent on each other and shes at a loose end now being widowed.

Though older widows are less likely to remarry.

thing is the teachers tend to meet others at teachers training college when they are students rather than actually at the achools they work in and then get married

another church lady I am friends with was a librarian and her husband was a PE teacher, but they didnt work in the same school

one of my bookshop workmates was coupled up with a teacher (I think he was studying law or justice or criminology or something) and they actually DID work in the same bookshop together as part timers. But the boss didnt know they were together when he hired them, so they didnt meet AT work
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#90
I didn't find anything wrong with what you posted at all. I don't care about style; I care about your heart.
I agree! That's the way Christians should be. They should care about the person's heart. The style has it's place, but the person's heart should always come first. Besides that, if this forum allowed us to edit our original posts, I would of made changes for him.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#91
I agree! That's the way Christians should be. They should care about the person's heart. The style has it's place, but the person's heart should always come first. Besides that, if this forum allowed us to edit our original posts, I would of made changes for him.
The bottom line is this: There are people in this world that suffer from mental instabilities. That said, I would do your best not to allow the weaknesses and insecurities of others to become your personal liability. This means that if a weak and insecure person abuses you even in a mild manner, as is the case here, don't let it bother you.

It is True, which is that just because a person is weak and insecure, this does not give them the right to cause a problem for another person. But the fact is, weak and insecure people, nearly by default, will in fact cause problems for others. We have to accept that weakness and insecurity may certainly cause another person to stumble. But, I would advise you to learn to look at yourself in such a way that results in a balanced sense of confidence. And what is confidence? It is the systematic, overarching way in which a person views themselves, the world (or universe), and all things within it. Confidence is merely a way of thinking or perceiving . . . nothing more and nothing less. So learn to change the way you think about yourself, which is that you are a normal, healthy, balanced individual and that the things that others say (or do) toward you no longer bother you.

When you become comfortable within your own skin, meaning that when you self-approve as a normal, healthy, balanced person, the things that others say (or do) toward you will become irrelevant. For, what matters is what you think about yourself. And greater still, what matters is what God thinks about you.

Romans 2:29 NLT - "No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by God's Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people."

So, I would encourage you to no longer be concerned with how these people treat you but be concerned with what our Powerful, Almighty God thinks about you. I assure you of this: You do not need the approval of me, nor anyone else who frequents this forum. Believe in yourself as a Child of God and move onward from the evil thoughts of others and no longer allow them a place in your life, especially, in the way and manner in which you view yourself. Your identity is in Christ . . . not in people.

I believe in you.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#92
I agree . . . this is a very rude response to someone who is reaching out.
@Seeking-Christ

Do you see how this subhumanoid individual has given me the "Zzzz" boring emoji? This is my final interaction with "him" and this person will now be included within my Ignore List. I have no time for this immature form of harassment, so I will exercise the feature of this forum and follow the encouragement of moderators, which is to Ignore them. I recommend that you do the same. This "person" if they are even real, operates in an uncaring, anti-Christ manner and is a waste of time.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,415
9,402
113
#93
@Seeking-Christ

Do you see how this subhumanoid individual has given me the "Zzzz" boring emoji? This is my final interaction with "him" and this person will now be included within my Ignore List. I have no time for this immature form of harassment, so I will exercise the feature of this forum and follow the encouragement of moderators, which is to Ignore them. I recommend that you do the same. This "person" if they are even real, operates in an uncaring, anti-Christ manner and is a waste of time.
He can be blunt, but his advice is generally worth heeding.

If you got your feelings hurt, I'm sure it won't bother him a bit if you put him on ignore. Your loss and all that.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#94
He can be blunt, but his advice is generally worth heeding.

If you got your feelings hurt, I'm sure it won't bother him a bit if you put him on ignore. Your loss and all that.
Whether or not there is a loss is up to me to determine. But . . . thanks?
 
L

Live4Him2

Guest
#95
The Bible Discussion Forum is a fight.
And that, my dear Lynx, may be the understatement of a lifetime...lol.

I not only make sure to have my spiritual armor on while venturing into the BDF, by I usually employ an undercoating of bubble wrap as well...lol.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#96
forum ettiquette
because this forum doesnt do an edit except for 5 minute after you last posted your own post
so you might just have to post another time to add something you've forgotten or correct something else from your own post if you dont do it in time.

That is why I tend to double post a bit, not that Im trying to hog a thread but I didnt get it all in one post and it was too late to edit it.

anyway..please dont let someone elses negative comments bother you, many of which reflect their own unhappy situation and have no bearing on yours. You @Seeking-Christ are the one who started this thread so its yours to direct as you wish, and you dont need to respond to everyone who posts either (and can choose to ignore unhelpful comments by using the ignore button for a poster who isnt being constructive or a nuisance.

if grammar and spelling and paragraphing is a problem, just remember everyone is learning and nobody is going to mark your work here lol. It is not the end of the world if there is a typo on a forum! some people are only caring about on the presentation, whole others actually focus on the content and what you want to say. Thats just the way it is , some people will always try and be the police though they have no bearing on what people post or how they do it. If people want to nitpick, all the time that's really their problem. Dont need to get all angry about it.