VIRTUAL DATE NIGHT

Yeah, God must be GOD in our lives. I get it.

Who knows why God delays these things. I've been unattached for 3/4 of my adult life. There's a young couple in church, can't be past mid-20s, that just got married. A former pastor's been happily married for about 50 years. Another friend is closing in on 30. And then, there's you and I, and a 41yo virgin I know, and Seeking-Christ.

Idolatry is probably part of it. Could be other reasons other than or in addition to that. But, we all come into a marital involvement with our sinful baggage. If a perfect love for Christ over all else and perfect Heavenly-mindedness dominating our hearts and minds were the criteria, Christians would never reproduce.

I am not without my sinful baggage, misplaced priorities, etc. I do know though that I got married in 2004 with all of this. I also know that in a good marriage the good outweighs the bad. In mine, I was truly content. I am not now. As for heartache within marriage, or because of it, I know a little something about that. Watching your beloved's body lowered into the ground is one of the most disturbing things you can watch... so much so, that's when I walked away from the funeral.

I know about the good and the bad with marriage. I know Heaven and God should be our priorities. You keep saying this. My heart is where it is and only God can make me content without worldly comforts and blessings. Until He does...

I didn't say that "a perfect love for Christ over all else and perfect heavenly-mindedness dominating our hearts and minds were the criteria". Instead, I merely pointed out the purpose for which God instituted marriage in the first place so that we might understand the same and seek to fulfill the same by his grace.

I truly try to stay away from sharing personal testimony and to stick solely with the word of God instead, but I share it at times in order to potentially help others, so here I go.

My own life as a Christian (I became a Christian shortly before my 27th birthday), as far as relationships with women are concerned, has basically gone like this...

Initially, I had some interest (more like a fleeting moment) in possibly finding a wife. There was one particular young woman in the first church that I attended who caught my eye because she seemed so different from the others in that she seemed to genuinely have a heart after God. I knew that she liked me, and I liked her, and I finally overcame my fear of what she or others might think, and I sent her a poem and a dozen white roses. If you're interested in reading the poem, then you can find it here (I posted it my first time around under my previous username of "Live4Him"):

https://christianchat.com/christian-poems-poetry/freedom-from-the-fear-of-man.197946/

Nothing ever came out of that, and God actually gave me a dream, right after I sent her the poem and the roses, in which he showed me that he didn't want me to be with a woman at that particular time. In my dream, I went to take a drink of water out of a water fountain in a high school, but no water would come out of it. You need to know that my church was meeting in a high school auditorium at that time as renovations were being made to the church building. Anyhow, suddenly, a very skinny woman who I worked with at that time appeared in my dream, and she stuck one of her boney fingers into the water spout and pulled out what was causing the blockage:

A woman's hand.

The hand wasn't scary looking at all, like say something out of a horror movie. Instead, it was a smooth, fully-intact, feminine-looking hand of a woman with no distinguishing marks on it. In other words, it represented any woman's hand, and not just the woman who I was then interested in. To make a long story short, when I asked God for the interpretation of my dream, he revealed to me that he didn't want me taking any woman's hand in marriage at that stage of my life because it would block what he was then seeking to accomplish in and through my life, so I happily became a eunuch for the kingdom of God at that time. After that dream, I went about 12 years without even thinking about dating anyone, let alone marrying anyone. In fact, when people even suggested that I should date (and many did), I basically rebuked them.

Well, that all changed on the infamous bus ride that I wrote about previously. Suddenly and unexpectedly, God told both me and my ex that we were to be married to each other, and we ultimately tied the knot.

Here's the interesting thing, though...

During that approximately 12 year period of time (I really hadn't dated anyone for more like 15 years, but I had contemplated it with the one woman from that church) when I was a sworn eunuch for the kingdom of God, God kept on teaching me about marriage and its significance. I mean, it's hard for him not to, especially when one considers that the entire Bible, whether it be the Old Testament or the New Testament, is basically a treatise on marriage in that God's covenantal relationship with his people is likened to marriage throughout the entirety of the Bible.

Anyhow, when I finally did tie the knot, I was pretty prepared for the same. In fact, I preached a sermon about how marriage is a natural reflection of Christ's desired spiritual union with the church at my own wedding. Even then, I wasn't fully prepared for that which would transpire over approximately the next 17 years, but God taught me plenty along the way. In fact, one of the primary things that he taught me in the midst of my exceedingly hot and fiery trial was how my own marriage very much resembled his marital relationship with his people throughout the ages. I won't cite a bunch of Biblical passages right now (although I easily could), but God himself married a people who repeatedly committed adultery against him, and many of whom he ultimately divorced himself.

Of course, in the midst of my fiery trials, "pastors" (read: seminary trained, useless hirelings) galore CONDEMNED me while insisting that God would have never ordained such a marriage as mine...even though it very much mirrored his own marriage in scripture.

At this point of my post, I don't even remember my point (lol), so I'll just reiterate this:

Marriage is no joke.

Don't take my own marriage as proof of the same.

Instead, look at GOD'S MARRIAGE as it is described all throughout scripture, and you'll see that what I've claimed here is indeed true.

Anyhow, to finish out my own story, I'm now at a point where I would love to have female companionship, but it seems as if it's nowhere on the horizon.

Whatever.

Not my will, but thine be done.

God's grace is sufficient for me...come what may.

I think many men have this idea that women are perfect angels and spotless brides and that men can only function and win if they marry one lol

when reality is women can be just as fallen and in need of salvation as men are!

can they get salvation by marrying well..for some women having children is salvation because God allows them to live in order that the child may have a mother.

But marriage relationships are likened to covenants in that they actually require sacrifice
if you not prepared to do that, marriage doesnt have much meaning.

Your estimation is right on target.

"Perfect angels"?

The ones that I've been with more resemble fallen angels.

Anyhow, as I've said before, most men basically suck, so it seems to be slim pickings on both sides.

Thank God for comfort food!

lol.

So sorry...

A Eunuch is a man who has been castrated, especially (in the past)
one employed to guard the women's living areas at an oriental court.

I too have an understanding about how this feels.

I was referring to this:

Matthew chapter 19

[10] His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
[11] But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
[12] For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Unless I'm mistaken (I could be), I believe that Jesus was here, in the bold-faced part, speaking of eunuchs in a figurative sense.

In other words, those who would remain single and abstain from sexual activity for the kingdom of heaven's sake or as they fully devoted themselves to the Lord as singles.

'Watching your beloved's body lowered into the ground is one of the most disturbing things you can watch... so much so, that's when I walked away from the funeral.' That is certainly how it looks but we must remember 'to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord'. To know they are there ahead of us is a comforting reality check.
The most great marriages (unions) I have seen that are prosperous in many ways, have God at the center of their existence. Looking back on my 2 marriages, I would label them as carnal since I was a believer but not knowing yet the full concept of being a joint-heir with Jesus. They are both in Heaven (hubbys) but I can see the futility of trying to create a satisfactory family w/o Jesus as the center of everything. Thank God He knew our hearts and I can rest assured they both are in Heaven.
Last summer a man from church rounded up a group of church young men to help me with some yard work. The man who was interested in me, suggested I use 'Round-Up' for some weeds😮 and I thought 'well that's a deal breaker', lol. Then I find out he is a assistant kid's teacher at our church. So in hindsight, I think I should not overreact to small stuff and see the Christ in others, if it's there.

I would be wary of using roundup esp around children, who often go on the grass barefoot and expose themselves to all nasty chemicals.

He's probably just ignorant, like many people are of the dangers. If people KNEW they wouldnt use it. The reason why so many people get cancers is often due to the build up of herbicide/pesticides they consume in sprayed foods.
Wheat is the biggest. roundup sprayed on wheat contributes to gluten intolerance.

Yodels.

Please... do not use this as any form of counsel. It just... hits a nerve. Please.

I know... and, I've even had dreams that might point to the same... But, I am not there, she is not here. Knowing she's healthy and vibrant and self-aware has some comfort in it, but that does not negate the reality of her physical death. That is all I can see. The rest is faith, and faith is not as clear or as vivid as our physical sight.

So, while I appreciate the reminder, and it's one I give myself on the anniversary of her passing, it only offers so much comfort, and can offer only so much until I see her again.

Live4??? Did you... *gasp*

lol.

You know, if I didn't have you by a few years, then I'd seriously start to consider that you and I might be Siamese twins who were separated at birth with all of these striking similarities in our lives.

Yodels have loonnngggg been my favorite junk food, with Girl Scout cookies coming in as a pretty close second.

That said, I mostly eat fruit nowadays (Is there anything better than a good orange?), as it's definitely a much healthier alternative.

Ummmm...no.

I still have all of my working parts.

Swiss rolls, ho hos, now they are called yodels.

They all may look the same, but I've found there is MUCH difference between a swiss roll and a ho ho. I'd be interested in trying the yodel take on the concept, if they sold them around here.

Thx for explaining that. I've always told people in my path when a loved one departed, not to be sad, they are alive and well in a beautiful Kingdom. Then when one of my daughters went there at 33yo, I felt the loss of her presence and endearing ways, so I understand how you feel. In my situation I realized I felt guilty also (as well as did her husband, a professor) that we didn't take her plight more seriously. It was heart wrenching for sure.
Within a few days, I was watching Christian TV late at night. Joel Osteen was at the end of his message, turned and looked into the camera and said 'Someone watching has a loved one who passed on. They don't want you to be sad, they are around you and in peace'. Then next the show 'Miracles all around us' a segment featured a girl with long light brown hair in ringlets, like my daughter's hair. Her mother's name was Elenor, the name of my daughter. Then, Brian Lamb, who just passed bc of covid, who was on Daystar TV, did the same thing as Joel, after his message he turned to the camera and said the same thing Joel Osteen said, and then said 'I don't know who that was for but I was led to say that'. This was on 3 consecutive shows.
Also, we had a thing about pennies (I can't remember what,lol) but almost every time I go out I find pennies, from Heaven🤩 I like to think. The Holy Spirit really is The Comforter🙏❣ God bless.




When one of my daughters departed this world to go onto the next

Healthier? Sure. More fun? Nope, sorry, ain't cuttin' it

Thank you for understanding.

Before anyone really close to me had died, I used to tell them, "Hey! They're still self-aware, and in bliss!" They'd thank me, and I'd think I did my grief counseling.

Then, I watched my wife's body start to descend into earth. Yikes. Then, I tried sleeping in my bed, the same spot and position as always. I don't think that lasted 15 seconds. Then, my mother-in-law came in and reorganized our bedroom (one of my issues with Philippine in-laws -- no one owns anything, but everyone owns everything in their eyes). I lost my flippin' mind. I freaked out, told her to not touch anything, and I promptly put everything back exactly the way it was.

Suddenly, her being in Heaven was not the instant grief antidote I thought it was. Now yes, it's FAR more comforting than the alternative the atheist presents. But, my empty home... her no longer being in my presence... were heart-breaking.